Some nights I do not cry,
They are really rare.
But inside I'm praying,
You're not crying them for me.

I am part of a long branch that
Stems from a
Very poisonous tree.

I am the fruit of the fourth wife,
The illegitimate and the shamed.

A few generations down the stalk,
You'd find me:
A cursed seed
That was never meant to be planted,
That was never meant to exist,
But has and will now plague the soil

*Forevermore.

What I'm saying to you might sound like "Please stay, I will die without you."
Sometimes it sounds that way to me, too.
Sometimes I peek into the caves of my mind
And my footsteps echo it back to me like rain.
But that
Is not what I'm saying.
What I'm saying is that I know I will have such joy in my life.
I know in my bones that I am not going to waste this chance I've got
To feel things.
I am certain that my life will be not just happy,
But spectacular.
I will never be safe, I will never be bored, I will never give up, I will never
Settle.
What I'm saying to you is that
I want you in that.
I want you to be the reason.
For a while,
Or forever.
Your choice,
Your freedom.
What I'm saying is much more than "I will die without you."
No,
I will be exquisitely alive with or without you.
I'm no fool, I know that.

What I'm saying is,
I'd rather it be with you.

Another evening
of
sore forearms
aching shoulders
blistered fingers
a back that demands to be cracked.

All this work will be worth it

The late nights staying doing squats

They will pay off in time

I will never be skinny,
never be the politically correct form of "beauty"

But I can always be strong
and someday I will stand up and know
that I have reached my goal
and am the very best I can be

insomnia is my best friend, it's molded into my bones because
the world never sleeps and the bats know me by name. i ripped
the lights out of the sky with the sharp teeth i bear to collect the
stars to stick onto my bedroom ceiling. the sky is a black hole, almost
like a tornado or mouth ready to throw me off my feet, and i'm faint
i can't tell the difference between sympathy, empathy, and apathy
anymore only because i was never good at recognizing faces covered
in masquerade masks. my nightmares aren't about dinosaurs and
aliens anymore, because fantasy is what i've become accustomed to.
reality terrifies me, we are living in our past, our present, and our
future, and my social anxiety is getting bad again to the point where
i lost track of time at night overthinking too much over simple things

- kra

And i needed to voice my thoughts
but if i did, you would worry
so my thoughts shall remain thoughts
and my voice will stay voiceless