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a m a n d a Apr 2018
i can feel that
this is a time
where i could be
folded into the
envelope of the world
in this smooth and
h e a v e n l y place.
a m a n d a Apr 2018
i am a
happy red bird
with edges
that smudge
wet paint and
my favorite
self-leveling top coat
a slick and beautiful shine
in this
   ******* world of mine.
a m a n d a Apr 2018
the only reason to m a n a g e
is that your teaching
has
failed.
a m a n d a Apr 2018
...and it's like
we got ALL THESE PEOPLE
and
all these ideas and
we all listen and
internalize and -
bring some back to the
group-think

but all HALF OF YOU
have to say
is to speak of
other men and
how well
they handle their ******.
a m a n d a Apr 2018
human,
do not project yourself
onto the other.
do not look at the other
and say to yourself,
"well if i were her,
i would..."

you are a better human
when you project yourself
into the other
when you lose yourself
and become them
you will see
  the way forward.
a m a n d a Apr 2018
something has
    l i f t e d
or at the very least,
- shifted _
a m a n d a Apr 2018
(you are so silly & unpredictable)

today, instagram accidentally
informed me
that congratulations are in order.

but instead of congrats,
i will share wisdom for her, not you:

when he goes into a rage
that scares you so much
you lock yourself in your bedroom
crying and shaking,
and he screams
"****!"
and punches the door,
you should probably call it quits.

when he starts listening to different music
and using words and phrases he normally doesn't
that means he's cheating on you
with a "friend"
"he has no interest in"
whose house you once stayed at.

maybe he didn't mention to you
that he finds pregnant women's
bodies repulsive? or maybe he
just changed his silly little mind.

your effort
your love
your support
and your sacrifices
will = 0
when he has decided
he doesn't feel like
"having the kind of life"
you have painstakingly built.

he has no loyalty.
promises mean nothing.
he lies.
he sneaks.
he is mean.
and selfish.
and will utterly destroy you
when he feels like it.

just so you know,
he is capable of
discarding a partner in life
of 14 years in an afternoon,
never to be seen again.

you really got a winner.

and you best not be surprised.
cuz i'm raising the red flag for you, sister.

when he leaves you quite literally penniless
and homeless
on your 33 birthday
in your bed
  in your own home
    with another woman,
don't act surprised.
especially if it's someone you know.

and that's not the half of it
ha! if you only knew.
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