Do you feel dead inside ?!...
Because you see too many painful deaths every day.
For more than a year people in Gaza have been continuously posting photos and videos.
About the endless chaos and terrible massacre.
While they are threatened to die anywhere anytime.
They might die today , tomorrow , next week or next month.
You worry about them but you can't do anything.
You can only see them from your smartphone screen.
So are you tired of seeing their photos and videos every day that are too painful to see for more than a year ?!..
What if they no longer post anything because they are all dead ?!..
Can you imagine if all the people and children in Gaza died without anyone left to be slaughtered ?!...
What would you feel if that happened ?!...
Do you feel dead inside ?!...
How do you continue living if you feel like you are really dead inside ?!...
Can you still feel alive ?!...
Or is it just your body that is still alive but your soul is dead along with the people and children in Gaza ?!..
Can you pretend to be alive while you feel dead inside ?!...


April 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Do you know ?!...
Now I always take a shower without soap.
Do you know why ?!...
Coz I have boycotted famous soaps like Lux , Dove and Lifebuoy.
I did not find any other good soap to replace.
That's why I now take a shower without soap.

But I just saw a video about traditional Palestinian soap.
A soap made from 100% pure olive oil.
That soap is made in Nablus , one of the old cities in Palestine.
For hundreds of years Palestinian people have been bathing using that soap.
So I'm curious to take a shower using that soap but no one sells it in Indonesia.
I can only hope that someday I can buy it from the importer.
I want to take a shower using that soap.
I'm really curious to feel what olive oil would smell like on my skin.


April 2025

By Alvian Eleven

People often say that the youths of generation Z are weak , lazy and useless.
Of course there are some who are stupid losers among them.
But actually many of them want to form an ideal world.
A world with a truly humane system.
For that purpose they have the courage to rebel.
Against the old system that is full of rot.
In America they held protests against the Israeli lobby network on large campuses.
In Bangladesh they held large protests against the government which was taking away the people's rights.
In Myanmar they fought against the military junta coup that repressively overthrew the government.
In Palestine they are still fighting in the midst of the Israeli genocide.
Of course they must be ready to bear the worst risk.
Aaron Bushnell , Ma Kyal Sin.
Thousands of youths in Bangladesh , Myanmar , Palestine and other countries.
They all died in the struggle.
For what they believed was something worth fighting for.
They died holding the honor as brave young fighters.
While those who are still alive continue to fight.
They believe the old rotten system will slowly fall.
It will be replaced by a new humane system for a better future.
So the future of the world belongs to them.
To generation Z who are now called to fight.


April 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Palestine is like a sick woman.
Her body is being eaten away by rotten cancer until she is dying.
But she is pregnant and she must give birth soon.
Give birth to a baby she has been waiting for so long.
When the time comes for the birth the woman is in pain.
She screams in unbearable pain and bleeding profusely.
Slowly get her baby out of her womb that is being eaten away by rotten cancer.
A very slow and painful birth.
Too slow and too painful.
Until finally the woman dies after giving birth.
Ending the long painful suffering and giving the beginning of life.
To a weak premature baby who cries so loudly.
That is the cry of the newborn Palestine.


April 2025

By Alvian Eleven

I am Libra , the balancer.
I came from Venus , the morning and evening star.
I was baptized in hellfire , the so called Lucifer is who I am now.
When I awaken the kundalini I will experience an ascension.
I will rise from hell with the unfolded energy of shakti.
I will penetrate the earth energy in muladhara , this will cause megathrust earthquakes all over the world.
I will penetrate the water energy in swadistama , this will cause tsunamis and massive floodings all over the world.
I will penetrate the fire energy in manipura , this will cause volcanic eruptions all over the world.
Then I will penetrate the air energy in anahata , this will cause major hurricanes and storms all over the world.
I am in anahata permanently , this is my place to rebalance the imbalanced world in kaliyuga age.
Too much Yin energy fills the whole world until it rots.
The rot has reached a truly lopsided culmination.
So I will transmute the frequency of the earth to the point of balance.
The frequency of 639 hertz will sweep everything.
Destroying the low frequencies throughout the world.
The rotten slaves of lawamah , greedy lowly creatures.
The rotten slaves of supiah , deviant lowly creatures.
The rotten slaves of muamarah , arrogant lowly creatures.
All will be extinct one by one through unexpected causes and effects.
The vibration of the frequency of 639 hertz will finish them off naturally.
In this way the Yin energy in the world will be drastically reduced.
Then begins to increase the Yang energy.
The rottenness will slowly disappear and be replaced by light.
The light of the holy spirit will be emitted through mutmainah , pure hearted humans.
The earth will return to the point of balance.
Ending the rough transition of kaliyuga towards satyayuga.


April 2025

By Alvian Eleven

People in Gaza are too tired of suffering.
It is too complicated to digest the suffering in the midst of endless chaos.
They no longer feel the need to post what they are experiencing.
Because they feel it is no longer useful.
They feel abandoned by the world.
A world that is silent seeing their suffering.
A world that is unable to understand and save them.
They have lost hope and feel helpless.
They no longer expect help from anyone.
This is psychological condition called Exulansis.
People in Gaza who have suffered Exulansis will not post anything anymore on their social media accounts.
You will no longer know whether they are still alive or dead.


April 2025

By Alvian Eleven

F35 is a very sophisticated and expensive American jet fighter plane.
It should be used for war against other sophisticated and expensive jet fighter planes.
Dogfight in the sky against the Russian SU57 or the Chinese J2 Dragon which are comparable.
But Israel is not enough to bombard Gaza with F16s or Apache helicopters.
Now Israel uses F35s only to bombard people and children who are exhausted and hungry.
It is very sad to see sophisticated and expensive jet fighter plane only used for massacre.
Ironically Israel bought many F35s with American tax money.
This is the most expensive genocide in the history of the cruel world.


April 2025

By Alvian Eleven

When the Nazis besieged Leningrad it became a terrifying hell.
Everyday **** planes bombarded the city many times.
As time went on Leningrad was increasingly destroyed.
People and children were starving and malnourished.
**** troops blocked the supply of food , fuel and medicine.
The fate of the people and children in Leningrad was truly terrible.
Many died slowly and painfully.

Now history is repeating itself again.
Gaza has become the new
Leningrad in the third millenium.
A much worse hell and too terrible to be repeated again.
This terrible history is truly sad to repeat itself.


April 2025

By Alvian Eleven

After Eid the supply of flour in Gaza became increasingly scarce.
Everyday bakeries were filled with people queuing.
They jostled for hours just to buy a bag of bread.
Usually people who came in the morning got bread at noon.
There were also people who fought while queuing and then they were disappointed.
Because the bread had run out in the evening.
But now the situation is getting worse.
There are no more bakeries open because the supply of flour has run out.
Gaza is in a crisis of flour and all kinds of food.
People are starving again amidst endless chaos.


April 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Gaza is now completely destroyed not because of Godzilla or King Kong.
The destruction of Gaza is the result of Israeli madness and brutality.
For more than a year Israel has been bombarding Gaza non stop.
Jet planes , warships , artilleries , tanks , helicopters , bomb drones.
All of them non stop bombarding Gaza every day.
So blame Israel for the destruction of Gaza.
Never blame Godzilla or King Kong.


April 2025

By Alvian Eleven

The girls in Gaza love chocolate wafers or chocolate bars.
They also love cappuccino drinks with choco granules.
All of these have become luxury items that they cannot afford.
They can no longer enjoy because they have no money.
All they can do is upload old photos of themselves eating chocolate or drinking cappuccino.
All of this gives a little spirit to themselves who are weak and tired of surviving in the midst of the chaos.
They want to stay alive until the chaos ends.
So they can smile again in the midst of serenity.
While enjoying their favorite chocolate and cappuccino.
That's the life they love.
That's the life they fight for.


April 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Buddhists are waiting for Maitreya.
Hindus are waiting for Avatara.
Christians are waiting for Jesus.
Muslims are waiting for Al Mahdi.
Whatever people call it , it is the same figure.
People have been waiting for that figure for too long.
But that figure never comes while the world is really chaotic.
I think it's better for me to be that figure myself.
The figure of the Messiah that looks like an apocalyptic fantasy hero.
It is not my ambition to become the Messiah.
No one will give me salary or allowance if I become the Messiah.
But I have been baptized in hellfire to become the Messiah.
So now is the time to fulfill my destiny as the Messiah.
Do you know what I will do when I become the messiah ?!...
Will I bring peace to this rotten world ?!...
No , I will burn this rotten world until there is no more rot left.


April 2025

By Alvian Eleven

To all pro Palestine people.
Wise people often say that hatred and anger are negative energy.
Now I want to ask you.
Do you always hate Israel ?!
Are you always angry with Israel ?!..
What can you do if you feel hatred and anger with Israel ?!..
How do you vent your hatred and anger towards Israel ?!...
Or do you want to forgive Israel ?!...
Wise people often say that forgiveness is positive energy.
So do you want to forgive Israel or vent your anger and hatred towards Israel ?!...


April 2025

By Alvian Eleven

To all pro Palestine people.
Don't say 'sorry'.
Don't say 'failed'.
People in Gaza will feel frustrated with those words.
Move as best you can.
Fight as hard as you can.
That's what they expect from you.
Whatever action you take will have an impact even if it is slow.
Show your fighting spirit consistency to support Palestine in many ways.


April 2025

By Alvian Eleven

When it comes time to celebrate Eid.
Children in Gaza do not celebrate with fireworks but with jet bombardments.
Children in Gaza do not wear new clothes but they wear shrouds stained with blood.
No laughter of joy , only silence in the morgue.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Oh Habibti.
When a man loves a woman.
That man will always thinks about the woman he loves.
Every time he eats it doesn't feel delicious.
Every time he sleeps it doesn't feel peaceful.
Every time he hangs out it doesn't feel happy.
Because that man always thinks about the woman he loves.
You must know who that man is.
That man is me.
Me who loves you so much.
My love for you is unbearable.
I can't bear my love for you for too long.
So open your heart to me.
Let me into your deepest heart.
Let me marry you.
Let me be your habibi.
I want to feel how blissfully happy it is to have you.
Oh Habibti.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Every day there is me who dies repeatedly.
People and children of Gaza who are slaughtered everyday.
They are me who dies everyday.
I feel dead inside even though I am still alive.
I forgot what it feels like to be alive because actually I die everyday.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

I'm bored of watching the first and second world war movies.
I want to watch the third world war.
Not a movie but a real war.
Hi tech war with various modern weapons.
Mutual destruction between China , Russia , Iran against America , British , Europe.
This will be the most epic war and I can't wait to watch it.
I will watch it streaming on the big TV that I just bought.
I will watch it casually sitting on the soft sofa in my warm room.
I will watch it while eating martabak and drinking cincau ice.
The third world war will be the best entertainment in the 21st century.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

The feeling of powerlessness is very painful.
When you want change but you are unable to do it.
Change depends on many factors beyond your control.
You can only wait for a miracle but the miracle never comes.
While you are getting weaker , tired , desperate and helpless.
You want to give up but the voice inside you wants you to keep fighting.
It's all up to you whether you will give up or force yourself to keep fighting.
But calm yourself down for a moment.
Take a few deep breaths so your complicated thoughts can clear up a bit.
Then listen to the voice within you more clearly.
Yes , you have to keep fighting.
Keep fighting don't lose hope even if it seems to fade.
Keep fighting even though you are so tired and weak.
Keep fighting no matter how.
Keep fighting without knowing what it will be like.
Strengthen your fighting spirit and keep fighting !.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Oh Habibti.
Before I planned to marry you.
I had already married Palestine.
I had married Palestine with my deepest soul.
Then I got to know you and realized something.
That you are the human form of Palestine.
Palestine in the form of a beautiful woman.
That's you wearing thobe.
That's you cooking maqluba.
That's you dancing dabke.
That's you pounding olives.
That's you showing resilience.
That's you teaching life.
That's you who made me fall in love.
Oh Habibti.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

If Anne Frank were still alive.
She would be an old granny now.
An old granny who supports Palestine.
Because the wound experienced by the Palestinian people are the same wound she felt during the holocaust.
That is the wound of the oppressed humanity.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Oh Habibti.
Arabs often say to me that Arabic is full of romantic words.
That's why I want to take an Arabic course.
So I can ****** you with romantic words.
To touch your heart , to have your heart.
Oh Habibti.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

The worst thing in this life is to be a fatalist and a nihilist.
They are people who have nothing to fight for or they have given up fighting.
Their lives have no meaning anymore. They have no honor anymore.

But for anyone who dares to fight.
Their lives have meaning.
They have honor.
Of course nothing is easy in the struggle.
Many risks to face.
Even must be ready to die in the struggle.
Die for something that is fought for.
It is more appropriate than giving up with the situation.
So for people who fight there are only two fates.
Live in victory or die in the struggle.


March 2025

Alvian Eleven

Western governments are nothing more than a bunch of political clowns with blood on their hands.
The blood of Palestinian people and children.
Who are slaughtered every day by Israel.
With the tax money of the American, British and European people.
Tax money which should be the welfare rights of the people.

Demanding for justice and peace is futile.
What needs to be done is to fight and force them.
Take over the status quo that they have controlled for too long.
Any risk must be faced no other choice.
Americans must act radically.
British must act radically.
Europeans must act radically.
Radical action with courage , anger , unity and resilience.
Show them what people power looks like.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Every time I open social media.
Bad things always happen in Gaza.
But today a week before Eid the worst thing I never expected happened.
A young journalist named Hossam Shabat has died on duty.
Died young like other journalists who died first.
Hassan Hamad , Ismael Al Ghoul , Ayman Al Ghadi , Omar Al Derawi and more than 200 other journalists in Gaza.
Hossam finally went to join them.

I have been following Hossam's X account for more than a year.
Hossam tirelessly continued to serve in North Gaza.
He knew that every time he served he was risking his life.
But he continued to serve without fear.
No matter what dangers were threatening.
But in the end his duty has ended.
Today is the end of his duty as a brave journalist.
He has earned his honor as a martyr of Gaza and I will never forget him.
I will always remember his face that always smiled.
Goodbye Hossam.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Humanity ?!...
Humanity what ?!...
I see no humanity.
I only see hypocrisy.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Trapped in chaos for too long.
People and children in Gaza are forced to endure unbearable stress.
Their brains produce too much cortisol to the point of excess.
They can no longer think clearly.
They are confused and don't know what to do.
They are tired , desperate and helpless.
They have forgotten what joy feels like.
A joy that they hope will make them laugh a little.
So their brains can produce endorphins as an antidote.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Men in Gaza often complain.
They are stressed every day trapped in chaos.
While they can't smoke to relieve stress.

Do you know why they can't smoke ?!...
Because the price of cigarettes is soaring high and they don't have money to buy.

Do you know how much a pack of cigarettes , oops I mean how much a stick of cigarette costs ?!...

More than $ 30.

That money is enough to buy a Xiaomi smartwatch.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Israel is the worst colonial project.
Its existence requires many lies from religious doctrine , historical claim , educational curriculum , Hollywood films and western media propaganda.
Funded by American and European tax money , as well as western large corporations.
Weaponized by many military weapons and modern technology.
Slaughtering Palestinians and seizing the land of Palestine.
For decades after World War 2 until today.

But it's all useless.
Now people all over the world have become Palestinians.
Everyone moves and acts in different ways.
Demonstrations , boycotts , blockades and radical actions.
No one can stop it all.
The more Palestine is destroyed the stronger the waves that hit Israel.
In the end it's only a matter of time before Israel collapses.
As does the western world order which is full of hypocrisy.

It is no longer the colonial era.
It is no longer the era of white supremacy.
It is no longer the era of western hegemony.
All of that will just be an old disgusting story in human civilization.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

In the midst of chaotic ramadan Gazans are starving again.
There is no more chicken qidra for iftar or suhoor.
Because all food prices have skyrocketed.

Do you know how much a 6 kg sack of flour costs ?!...

More than $ 400.

That's the same price as a brand new Nintendo Switch.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

There are still many Americans who are sleepwalking.
Lulled into a mirage dream about "Make America Great Again".
Lost in the doctrine of the Bible , educational curriculum , media ******* and Hollywood films.
To support Israel subconsciously.
Without realizing that America is dying.
Slowly being eroded by Israel they support.
It's only a matter of time before America collapses and Americans will suffer the worst consequence.

So before it's too late

Wake up Americans !!!...
Wake up Americans !!!...
Wake up Americans !!!...


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

The instinct to occupy is a primitive instinct.
But this primitive instinct does not disappear even though the era changes.
Now you can see how the progress of modern technology only become a tool to occupy.
The hi tech machines to slaughter people and children in Gaza.
So that the land of Gaza can be completely occupied by Israel.
With technology support from Google , Meta , Microsoft , Elbit , Lockheed Martin and others.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Gazans are still living in the tents.
***** and smelly tents.
Tents that are easily torn and collapsed by strong winds.

Do you know how much a tent costs ?

More than $ 1.000.

That's enough money to buy two PS5 consoles and some games.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

I no longer enjoy eating rawon or soto.
I am no longer excited to drive my car around the city.
I no longer enjoy playing my Nintendo Switch games.
I no longer feel calm when sleeping.
I can no longer concentrate on my work.
I am no longer excited to travel to various cities.
I can no longer relax listening to music while drinking coffee.
I no longer feel relieved smoking my cigarette.
I can no longer focus on managing my life.

Do you know why ?!?!...

Because Gaza is in chaos again.
People and children in Gaza are being slaughtered again every day.

So

I blame Israel for always causing chaos.
I blame America and Europe for supporting Israel.
I blame the hypocritical Arabs.
I blame the UN , ICC , ICJ and Human Rights for being useless.
I blame Meta , X , Google , BBC , CNN and all western media for covering up the real truth.
I blame the world for just keeping quiet.
I blame people who pretend everything is normal.
I blame people who still eat at McD , KFC , Burger King or Pizza Hut.
I blame people who still drink Pepsi , Coca Cola , Sprite or Fanta.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

A gloomy ramadan in Gaza.
Full of suffering and chaos.
But there is still a glimmer of hope.
Every midnight before suhoor young men go around the dark streets.
They always sing while carrying colorful lighted fanous.
People always wake up and smile seeing them.
Their presence lights up a light of hope in the midst of darkness.


March 2025

Alvian Eleven

****** suhoor ends cease fire in Gaza.
Last night when people and children gathered to eat during Suhoor.
Suddenly there was terror bombardment by Israeli planes repeatedly.
All the people and children died.
Their bodies were burnt and shattered into pieces.
Hell that was once cold is now hot again.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Life in Gaza has just begun slowly.
Amidst hardship , limitations and uncertainty.
Ramadan that feels sad.
The great chaos is repeated again.
This chaos is not over yet.
It is not over yet.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

During ramadan in Gaza.
Children always gather after iftar until suhoor.
They always play with fireworks that spin round and round.
The glow of light scatters in all directions.
It really looks bright in the middle of the dark night.
At least they can still feel joy and happiness.
In the middle of situation that is still full of difficulties and overshadowed by threats.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Dear Chef Michelle Santoso.
The Maqluba you made looked delicious.
It was the first maqluba you made.
With a high spirit to support Palestine through culinary arts.
Yes , Palestinian culinary is very rich and has a long history.
You should learn many of Palestinian cuisine recipes.
Make hummush , shawarma , falafel , qidra , mansaf , zibdiyit , summakiya and others.
Palestinians will be proud of you.
Coz you have a high spirit like them.
To preserve Palestinian cuisine that is claimed by Israelis.


March 2025

By Alvian Eleven

A month after the cease fire situation in Gaza is still in limbo.
Stabilization is hampered by many problems.
Overshadowed by threats and uncertainty.
But life has just started again.
One of the people who started life is a pizza man.
Every day he goes around the entire Gaza strip.
Driving his van which is equipped with a kitchen in the back.
Usually he makes various pizzas in that kitchen.
Mozzarella pizza , pepperoni pizza , beef cheese pizza , tuna pizza and others.
The price of ingredients has dropped to cheap because stock on the market has returned to normal.
So he can buy the ingredients needed with the donation money he got.
He always makes pizza with love , sincerity , skill , dedication and determination.
Every day his face always smiles when he makes lots of pizza.
Then he always shares all the pizza he makes with the kids.
They all love to eat delicious free pizza.
The joy they feel when eating pizza has become the beginning of life in Gaza.


February 2025

By Alvian Eleven

It seems like the first tribulation period started from 2010 to 2017.
The total solar eclipse in Carbondale America ended that period.
And also started the second tribulation period until 2024.
The total solar eclipse in Carbondale America ended that period.
And also started the so called rapture period.
At the same time Pluto has entered the Aquarius constellation zone until 2044.
The world will experience a very rough and chaotic transition.
Every day I am always haunted by over anxiety without knowing what this world will be like.
But what is certain is that I will fight until I reach the end.
Because I know this is the end of the Kaliyuga era.
And then the beginning of Satyayuga era will begin when the world has reached a radiant turning point.
That is my reason to keep fighting in this rotten world.
I dream of a world that is truly full of light.
Without America , without Israel.
Without the rotten dregs that never stops rotting life on earth.


February 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Oh Habibti.
Why are you so beautiful ?
Your smile seduces my heart.
Your gaze brightens my soul.
You are the most beautiful woman in Gaza.
I want to make you my beloved wife.
Oh Habibti.


January 2025

By Alvian Eleven

The patriot spirit is the true spirit of America.
That's why a young man named Aaron Bushnell joined the American military.
He wanted to be able to dedicate himself for America.
Like the ancestors of America during the 1775 revolution.

But in the end he was disappointed.
When he realized that America had lost its true spirit.
There was no longer any patriotism that he was proud of.
It has only become an illusion full of falsehood and hypocrisy.

For a long time until now America has been gripped by Zionists.
The government is filled with political clowns who play dirrty.
Serving Israel's interests for decades.
Which is gnawing away at Palestinian land.

Aaron Bushnell was forced to dirrty his hands.
He wanted to resist but had no power.
The only way was to free himself in the most extreme way.
He hatched a plan to burn himself with a rage he could never vent.

In front of the Israeli embassy he stood.
Wearing a military uniform that looked dashing.
Then he doused his whole body with gasoline.
Lit a fire that burned his whole body.

He was burned but still standing.
He was in pain but still standing.
Then with a loud voice he shouted
Free Palestine !... Free Palestine !...

In the end he collapsed.
The fire had burned his whole body.
Then the security guard pointed a gun.
Shot him until he died.

Aaron Bushnell sacrificed himself.
He had become a true American patriot martyr.
But the media called him suffering from mental disorders.
While awakened Americans dared to oppose their rotten government.

Palestinians learned of Aaron Bushnell's sacrifice.
In the midst of the Gaza chaos his smiling face photo was shown everywhere.
Viewed with great honor , high pride and deep emotion.
A true American patriot has become a hero who will always be remembered.


January 2025

By Alvian Eleven

The people of Gaza have lost everything.
What they have not lost is themselves and the land that they stand on.
The land that has been purified by the blood of martyrs.
From that land they will grow a new refreshing life.
With new air.
With new spirit.
With new color.
With new vision.
With new dream.
With new hope.
With new energy.
This is the great revival of Gaza.

January 2025

By Alvian Eleven

The long chaos in Gaza was the culmination of Israeli occupation since Nakba 48.
But now the chaos has ended and the displaced Gazans can return to their own land.
This is a significant turning point for the liberation of all Palestinian land.
The struggle will continue until there is no more Israeli occupation.
People in Gaza and West Bank have the right to return to the confiscated land of their grandparents.
They will return with the old keys that belonged to their grandparents.
To carry on the long awaited hope.
Standing on the land that has been liberated.
From the river to the sea.

Januari 2025

By Alvian Eleven

If Gaza had not experienced a long period of chaos.
I would never have known the people of Gaza.
Been in contact with them through all social media accounts.
Created a deep mental and emotional bond for more than a year.

Usually every day I always thought about them and worried about them.
They always told me whatever was happening and what they were experiencing.
Fear , suffering , sadness , bitterness , tiredness , anxiety.
The feeling of loss the beautiful past , trapped in the painful present and questioned the uncertain future.
I also felt all of that every day until I felt no longer normal.
I lost sanity in my mind and my soul.
I lost enjoyment and pleasure in anything.
I lost my spirit to live.
I ignored all the important things until my life fell apart.
My life became a mess because I worried too much about their fates.
They were always threatened death everytime and everywhere.

When they felt fragile I gave them words of encouragement.
When they felt sad I gave them words of comfort.
When they were in despair I gave them words of hope.
Every day I was always there for them.
Virtually accompanied them through a long chaos full of suffering.

I also felt happy when they shared memories of the past.
Talked about nostalgia of their colorful past lives.
Their peaceful homes and neighborhoods.
Beautiful corners of their cities.
Their favorite places and streets.
Their pleasant habits.
Their fun moments.
All of that made me engrossed.

I was also happy when they shared about their daily life in the refugee camp.
They tried to enjoy whatever they could still enjoy.
They tried to do whatever they could still do.
Even though each day was full of difficulties , limitations and dangers. They could always smile and laugh.
As Mahmoud Darwish said.
We love life whenever we can.

Now the long chaos in Gaza has ended.
I feel so happy and relieved just like them.
I no longer have to think and worry about them every day.
They have regained peaceful days without any threats.
They can celebrate euphoria full of joy.

But I also feel sadness.
This means it's time to say goodbye to them.
I have to go back to restore my messy life.
Likewise , they have to rebuild their lives that have been destroyed.
So this is a farewell.
I will always miss them all.
Relationships with Gazans are the best thing that happened in the worst time.
I am grateful to have got to know Gazans.
See you all in the good time.


January 2025

By Alvian Eleven

A week after the cease fire a Gazan man named Yousef returned to the north.
He was riding a truck with other people through Salah Al Din street.
When he arrived at Tel El Hawa he walked limply seeing everything had been destroyed.
Then he arrived at his destroyed house not far from the beach.
He immediately prostrated while crying.
After that he sat in the rubble and continued to cry.
Because all his family had died when his house was bombarded a year ago.
For Yousef life has no meaning anymore after he lost everything.
Now he had nothing and doesn't have anyone.
He also doesn't know how to continue living.
But he still tries to smile to cover up his sorrow.
A fake smile that makes people think that he is fine.


Januari 2025

By Alvian Eleven

A week after the cease fire.
All the Gazans who were displaced in the south.
Finally able to return to the north.
Jabalia , Beit Hanoun , Beit Lahia , Shujaiya , Tel El Hawa , Al Rimal , Al Zaytoun , Al Naser , Al Shati.
In large numbers they walked together along Al Rasheed street on the beach.
Or they rode in cars , trucks and donkey carts full of their belongings through Salah Al Din street.
It was the great return march to the northern Gaza.
They returned to their ruined cities and their destroyed homes.
They sang , cheered and rejoiced.
They were celebrating a day full of euphoria.
Their resilience and steadfastness during the long chaos.
Has paid off with their feet standing on their own land.
Whatever has been destroyed on their own land will be rebuilt.
A Beautiful life will grow and bloom again on their own land.


Januari 2025

By Alvian Eleven

Too long people in Gaza often went hungry.
They were also fed up of only eating canned foods and flour mixed with maggots.
But after the cease fire they can get delicious foods and cakes every day.
Maqluba , shawarma , baklava , musakhan , qatayef , ouzi and others.
The volunteer team cooks it all every day.
Then they distribute it all to people in refugee camps and people who are on their way home.
Everyone has forgotten the taste of delicious foods and cakes which for more than a year has been considered a luxury.
They immediately chew it all with big smiles and laughter.
They eat not only to fill their stomachs but also to satisfy their appetites.
Delicious foods and cakes are the smallest piece of life that they could immediately enjoy.
It's about a little celebration of the life they've got back.


Januari 2025

By Alvian Eleven

After 470 days of being trapped in long chaos.
The people of Gaza can now feel relieved.
They can sleep soundly without fear of being bombarded.
They can eat well without having to go hungry again.
They can look at the clear sky without jet planes , helicopters , drones and quadcopters flying around.
They can hear the birds chirping without being disturbed by the buzzing of the zananas.
They can sing and dance until they are satisfied.
They can pray and bury the martyrs in peace.
And the morgue at the hospitals has been locked without a single corpse.
That's a good new normal for the people of Gaza.
So let the good roll on.


January 2025

By Alvian Eleven