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allison Feb 2017
I've been driving around for hours and I'm leaving this voicemail to tell you that ever since you left, my head hasn't been the only thing out of whack. I have the heat on high with your favorite hoodie around me, but I can't stop shivering. I've never seen so much rain in January and I can't help but think the sky is mourning my loss too. I'm always nodding off if I'm not in bed, but whenever I'm in bed I can never shut my eyes. I called to make sure you could fall asleep knowing how adored you are. I called to make sure your dinner was more than just ramen. I called to make sure you locked the doors and finished your homework. I called to tell you that guy you don't like tried to contact me, but I blocked him, again. I called to see if you've been hugged today. I called to tell you I went to my favorite spot to watch the sunset, but I left just before it set because I couldn't stand to watch something so beautiful, so familiar, end like we did. Tell me, is it easier to sleep without me beside you, oblivious to how you really feel? Today on my way home I realized you weren't myhome anymore and I had to turn around. I wanted to tell you that my keys are in my car and my bags are still packed, just in case you ask me to come home. I called to make sure you're still smiling even though it's not because of me. I'm leaving this voicemail in hopes that you realize you're the reason I ever stopped wanting to die
You left and I called to make sure you're okay
allison Jan 2017
So much has changed and I have always understood why this happens but I can't quite understand how you stopped loving me the way you used to, unconditionally
allison Jan 2017
When will I stop calling you mine?
When will I stop thinking you'll see these?
When will I wake up and not have the constant pain in my stomach, forcing me to remember don't want to be here anymore?
allison Jan 2017
I hope you find a better love.
allison Jan 2017
Sometimes it's hard to dismiss the constant clenching that takes place underneath my rib cage

What's even harder, is that my heart breaks all over again once I realize I am not always strong enough to fight for myself

As I sit here, on the edge of my bed, wearing your clothes, hugging the sheets and pillows as if they are you, the emptiness surrounds me..

What's the hardest though, is the fact that you're worth every little fight. And it's so ******* hard to look past that.
knowing I create my own destiny means nothing if you're gone
allison Jan 2017
"I loved her...and it was the beginning of everything..."
allison Jan 2017
Pathetically in love, pathetically a fool for you
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