Don't know what to do
or say
how do I keep going
when theres no point anymore?
my solution?
I have none
yours?
Lets just put put her on drugs
meds cure everything
You can't ignord me forever
the way I feel
you can't always drug away everything sad
sometimes you have to face it head on
but I can't do that
not without you
but you won't even look at me anymore will you?
**LOOK AT ME

It's been a while
Since I last saw you
Where have you been?
What have you seen?

What crawls through your head
That no one can understand
Not even me?

I don't understand why
You all look up to me
You say I'm all these things
That I'm so obviously not

Your saying that I'm perfect
I'm flawless, without fault
But have you looked at me
Underneath my surface

You see beauty, perfection
I see scars and mistakes
You see happiness, light
I see anger and hate

I don't think you realize
I'm not the angel you see
I'm not a role model
I shouldn't be put on a throne

I'll never be perfect
I'll never be free
I'm locked inside self hate
I've thrown away the key

So I still don't understand
What you see in me
Why do you look up to
A person I'm obviously not

I really don't get what you see

Let's get lost
In the scrolls of time
It's a pleasure
To call you mine

Just a list of things I love:

Laughter
Friendship
Inside Jokes
Chocolate
Camaraderie
Hugs
Old Stories
Words
Reading
Writing
Kindness
Loyalty
Food
Water
Rivers (the ones with rocks sticking out of them)
Animals
Learning
Science
The Ocean
Mountains
Winter
Ice
Wind
Sunlight
Teamwork
Music
Creativit­y
Positivity
Secrets
Honesty
Darkness
Light
Knowledge
Ignorance
S­arcasm
Frankness
Performing
Sharing
Cheering
Breathing

My enemies hate me for all I stand for, and all I'll someday be.
My acquaintances know my name and recognize it.
My casual friends may not know who I am, but still make life lighter.
My friends are the ones who comfort me when I fail but draw away when I succeed.
My best friends laugh with me about my failures, celebrate my successes, and tell me straight when I'm being a pain in the neck.
My family supports everything I do and are always there, even if I don't want them to be.
And all those in between make life interesting, whether good or bad.

None of that matters unless I say so.

My enemies make me stronger.
My acquaintances give me pride.
My casual friends make me smile.
My friends keep me social.
My best friends warm my heart (and strengthen my patience).
My family is my lifeblood and backbone.
And all those in between, make me who I am.

Thanks to everyone in my life, no matter what you think of me.

Life Is A War
Every day is a battle

Everyone is keeping score
Don't pretend it doesn't matter

I've got thoughts so dark
I bet even the devil
Would weep