to live is to be evil just rearranged to be more appealing.

Jealousy.
I don’t like to say the word.
I dislike the shape of her.
The way she dips and curves—
she ends on a self-assured slant
as if to imply that you’ll be back for more.
 
Nothing sweet to offset her bitter bite
as her slimy saltiness rolls over your tongue.
She seeps into each and every open crevice.
To resist her is useless—
she’s designed to commandeer.
Your mouth will only produce words
soaked with her disdain. 
 
It's no secret you're at her mercy
as you watch another’s fingers
run through his hair.
If you have teeth, grit them.
If you have fists, clench them.
Narrow your gaze until  
her green vines uncoil and twist through
your arms, your legs.
A cartographer crafting
a brand new map of veins
pumping something stronger than blood.

Your misery is her victory,
and she makes no promise
to quiet her celebration.

On the outside we seem as
we have it all figured out
when really on the inside
our feelings are crushed
and were torn apart
physically and emotionally
but nothing can fix us
except those that tear us apart

In my desperation
to understand your disappearance
ive mulled that word over in my maze of a mind
way too many times
i can no longer find its meaning.