I know that today is just another day.
But to me it's the most important day of my life so far.
I know, I know.
I'm being over dramatic.

But really.
How many times will I turn 16?
Sweet,
Sweet,
Sweet sixteen.

I wished for a day full of love and fun.
And what did I get?
Rejection from my friends...
Awesome.
I just want to feel something other than loneliness.
I don't think that will happen though.

I want to be loved,
And hugged,
And sang to,
And kissed,
And held,

Like how I was forever,
And he was my always.

The perfect match.
On the perfect day.
But no.
That's over.

I just want to be loved...
I just want to have today to make my wishes come true...
Just today... That would be nice..

This place with its walls like a polymer that only heat destroys.
And there is no heat here.
There is no love to create heat and **** those oppressing walls.
Just knock them down.

Forever and always fitting together like the hands of a mother and her new born baby.
Made perfectly, to bond instantly.

Sweet sixteen isn't sweet at all...
It's bitter.
Like the bitter bite of this everlasting cold,
In this place with no heat to beat the walls.
Down.

I'd like to know what everyone thinks of me today.
Just for today so that I can know who to stay away from so I don't get hurt.
Again.

The old one said mean things about me.
I once heard that when girls get bad comments about things like their hair,
Or an outfit,
They will NEVER wear it again without thinking only about that one comment.

He said "that girl" like I was a disease he'd found on the handle of his car.
He said "yeah the one with her hair always messed up."
She said to him "It's naturally curly and I like it."

I can't believe that he would say that.
I can't believe that he is the boy who was always and I was forever.

There is this other boy now.
He wants to go to far with me.
I want to ask him,
Do you even know me?
Do you even know my middle name?

I miss being loved.
I miss no drama.
I miss especially,,,
Oregon.
Even if i don't get anything i want out of today,
I really, truly love Oregon.
No doubts about it.

But it's my sweet sixteen,
And i just want one thing.
To be loved.

I'm day dreaming
About dreaming
As you read this
I don't have anything
But doe eyes
Filling my face
Imagine me
The white blare
Is shining on me
And I can't sleep
Tonight is one of those
Talk to me

With the window down through the desert we drift
The radio's on and my spirits in fits
I eat your words that ride the wind
Take hold the road grab hold this sin
I tear at the vinyl where here we sit
Drive from this madness before we get bit
Suns snaps like a viper and heats up the sky
Times on the loose and fears in the eye

I like maps
Sometimes spread them across my room
Covering the floor and bed
Then study the curves and bends
Tracing the little lines of blue and black
Like when I explored your face

When snow collects outside the window
I close my eyes, become Sweden
As you bend like Norway
So once again you would be
Pressed against my spine
Two shapes fit to each other

I remember glancing up
At you while driving in circles
Just to get away
Could see in your eyes
You weren't here
Oh no, not this town, this state, this time zone

But you came back eventually
With an apologetic smile
A quiet, nervous laugh
You always left me hanging
In this small town
While off in your own world

You're actually gone now
Left my safe haven of strewn paper
And fully moved into a new world
One that doesn't just occupy your mind
Making your own maps
And following them with your feet

Lying on my map-covered floor
I place one finger where I've always been
And one across the line where you are now
Only inches apart
Close enough to reach out
To bridge the gap and touch

Then I remember the scale
Sitting down in the corner
Telling me inches are a hundred miles
Lines are boundaries
And I've no business
Attempting to cross either

Perfection: breezes
Calm, cool, caressing, gentle
Forever smiles

And suddenly,
This love,
It's a game of ping pong,
Whenever I strike,
You just return the hit,
But you've got the advantage.

Back and forth,
To and from.
Hit bounce hit bounce.
Soon the ball moves quickly from my side to yours

Our paddles swing rapidly,
Like a kayak on a strong current.

We wash up on the shore,
We sit and watch the sunset.
It's beautiful.
You look at me.
"I love you."
We look into each other's eyes.
It's intense,
But we lean in...

Ow!
Another daydream...
And I just got hit in the eye with the ball.

Now that I have your voice
on a loop in my memory,
I'm afraid to fall back into
that silence that plagued me
for so long.

It would be too easy to let
it all fall apart, to let the
silence seep back into my life,
to go back to the past
and let it be.

The only problem is the pain.
Upon hearing your voice,
my heart got a little lighter
and I started to smile with no
effort at all.

To be in silence with you,
knowing the magic effect
your voice can have on me
would be almost too much
for me to bear.