i wake up tired
and before i fall asleep
i feel the most awake
the most alert
my mind doesn't work
until the sun goes down
i don't know why
why its so hard to get going
my biggest regret
is waking up this morning
not that today was any worse than yesterday
or tomorrow will be any better
im not afraid
sometimes i think i am
afraid to make the choices i need to make
its not fear
its apprehension
not of what will happen
but what will become
what will become of me
i spoke to god once
just once
it was on a rickety subway car
we were alone
as only he would have it
i cant share with you what he said
im sure you'll understand
but i'll tell you this
he doesn't hate you
because of the things you do
or the people you hurt
he talks to you like a mother
with the wisdom of your father
his presence was fear
of his strength
i could feel it to the bones
his presence was love
because he came to me
and wanted to know my answers
which im sure he already knew
but to speak them aloud
to hear my voice carry
the answers within
the questions i knew
he broke the silence
and i knew why
he gave me a voice
so that we could speak
he gave me a voice
so that i could be heard
and as he approved
rejection
i of he
he couldn't change it
and so we sat
on a rickety subway car
i spoke to god
before i killed him

i know i'm in deep
when thinking of you
feels like
thinking of me.

Have faith,
in what little you have left.
Have hope,
have dreams,
you are not dead yet.

Believe in time,
in patience,
in waiting.
It will surprise you,
how after all you do,
you are rewarded.

There is little to believe in on Earth,
for all we can believe in is not visible to the naked eye.
We can believe in each other,
in our fathers and mothers,
but that's about it.
The rest exists in a non-existent realm.

Now is it wrong to blindly believe in something we can't see?
Or is it noble, honorable,
to have faith in something we truly believe.

Are we fools,
for following a god?
Or are we fools,
for following nothing at all?
Or are we fools,
for questioning others faith?
Or lack thereof.
It really isn't our place.

We all dream,
we all believe,
in something.

Lose yourself in the faith that you have,
and then worry about finding your way out,
before you worry about,
others beliefs.

I killed a man...

The gun went off in my hand
I didn't mean to
It was an accident

I killed a man...

He had a family
A loving wife and kids
I wish it had been me

I killed a man...

He served a purpose
His death was worthless
He served a purpose

I killed a man...

I threw the gun away
Into the river
It's still there to this day

I killed a man...

And have been haunted
By the ghost of what I done
It's not what I wanted

I killed a man..

He wants revenge I fear
I see him every night
Inside of my nightmares

I killed a man...

The gun went off in my hand
I didn't mean to
It was an accident, when it was I killed a man