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Alexa Picaulima Feb 2016
I wish my sleeping problems would leave me alone forever like he did
Alexa Picaulima Nov 2013
The perfect sunshine
glares through an old small window
to every corner
of this narrow room
such warmth
making me feel peaceful
forgetting the world as if nothing ever happened
nothing matters
no one understands how faultless this moment is
no one feels it
8
Alexa Picaulima Feb 2015
8
It's all like chess
You're the player
I'm the game;
A better strategy is all it takes
I'll win you over
Til then, see ya l8er
Allig8or
Alexa Picaulima Jan 2018
In a world full of fascination and beauty,

Identity is nowhere to be found.

I am surrounded by a society so fake,

That a smile, a grin, or a laugh is a hidden ache.

So I hide my face… I’ll make pretend, and be my own friend.

I am just a grey mind in a universe of black and white.

Every time I look up, a spark awakens,

Lighting a flame, a vision to a reality;

That at the end of the day

We are beings, best left off in the consent of silence.
This piece tells a story about a girl who, in her life, is surrounded by the fake society. As she grows up she realizes that she is different from the others, mostly because she, out of all people that she judges, hasn’t found her true identity. But that is just she is in this phase of life. She leaves it at that as she understands that people have their own ways of showing off themselves, no matter how cheesy.

I wrote this piece for a short fashion film for a magazine. What's written is fiction.
Alexa Picaulima Oct 2014
As smooth as the water
As gold as the fish
As hard as a stone
As cold as winter
As if.
Alexa Picaulima Apr 2017
MENTAL
   PHYSICAL
       EMOTIONAL
             CONDITION

                           A MIND
                                A LIFE
                                     A SOUL
WITHOUT SATISFACTION
Alexa Picaulima Oct 2016
Small eyes
Pale skin
Gentle smile
Warm hands

How you joke
About my joke
And say good morning
When the sun is rising

You are a boy
Who carries such coy

There was a spark in me
Ready to burn
You clinked me open
Just to light your cigarette

And when it's done
You throw the **** on the ground
To be stepped on

You tell me hold on
While you go looking for another pack
Slowly moving a step
As I certainly accept

But I don't know

Confused
Anxious
Curious

I do not know
I do not know
I do not know

I just want to
Get to know you
Alexa Picaulima Jan 2016
Another bright light turned blue
just when I needed to read.
The room went dark
and all I could see was you.
And there was nothing left to read…
as I couldn't reach you.
Alexa Picaulima Jul 2014
I think I have mental problems...
I hope it's just what I think
Some people need a doctor, some people need medicines
I need my journal
I need a friend in my head
Alexa Picaulima Sep 2015
I'm not okay
I hurt someone today
and now I'm feeling gray
Alexa Picaulima Nov 2014
My cold heart couldn't bear a cup of burning hot sadness I drank this evening,
it is now breaking and crying,
like a pretty glass doll falling over from top of the drawer,
and the little girl who's watching as it hits the floor.

My brain is trying hard to tell anything in my body
to possibly start producing liquid nitrogen
for my blood
to freeze all the tears away.

I need dry ice.
A ******* box of dry ice
to keep my cold heart cold.
Away from any flames.

I like myself better that way.
My best friend has left me for sure.
Alexa Picaulima Dec 2014
Sorrow man with the crown of thorns,
show me your ****** face that glows like a pale flame in the night.

The power of endless suffering makes your picture so clean.

Why are your lips still and your eyes without complaint?
Love in nations vapors in insults.
I hear how you laugh sometimes so soft.

Flame of passion in this cold universe,
beauty of sorrows in this dark nature,
miracle of love that knows no star fling.

I hear all the time the falling drops of blood until morning light.
Alexa Picaulima Feb 2016
I lost myself in you
and then the world lost you.
Alexa Picaulima Jul 2016
She shuts the door to the outside world
As she puts the blame on the wind, she asks the sky if she could fly
Alexa Picaulima Aug 2014
I left my best friend.
Not to die but to survive.

Tell me something worse.

I shouldn't have,
but I did.

It wasn't hard,

though it should've been.


Am I heartless?
Or am I just sick?

Am I a criminal?
Or am I just cruel?

Am I insane?
I don't even know.

Am I crazy?


..... I'm not sure.
Alexa Picaulima Apr 2017
We're all living in a world where being happy is the main challenge; where everyone's ****** and the only peace is silence.
Alexa Picaulima Jul 2015
It was summer, like today. Very nice weather, with big trees all around my yard.
It was having friends,
and family.
Picnics.
It was real interactions, it was real connections.


It was my childhood.
Beautiful stuff.
Like flowers and butterflies.


Now, it's here. This.
This is summer.
This is holiday.


Life without technology was my childhood.
And it's all just a ravishing memory.
Write this on my epitaph
Alexa Picaulima Feb 2015
Too scented, too sweet, too pure
Too warm, too dominant
Baby girl, you're too easy to find
You keep that in mind
Alexa Picaulima Jan 2016
Just when I was willing to be your shield,
you couldn't protect you from yourself.
No.
Alexa Picaulima Feb 2014
No.
I know I'm lost because
I don't know where I am
I know I'm not alone but
I don't know who can help me
Alexa Picaulima Jul 2014
Brain over heart
He over she
They say, "that's what she said"
He does not feel free

He  used to be in charge of his emotions
Until confusion took over
Fear won
Struggle's in charge

Sexist he is
That's what they say
Racist she is
That's just the way
Everything is
Definitely okay

I don't know
What to believe in anymore
People cry
That's why
One
Alexa Picaulima Jan 2016
One
No one* can feel my loss,
no one can understand my sadness,
no one will be there for me,
no one can console me.

You were the one.

Cause no one feels what I felt for you.
No one even knew.

You were the only one.

**The first one.
Alexa Picaulima Oct 2014
Poetry.
There's no plural for poetry.
Poetry is a singularity,
a quality of language,
a literary form of art.

Poetry
is a feeling.

Just like a speech
it is heard,
it affects people, it changes lives.

Just like a book
it is read.

Just as beautiful as pictures
it never changes.

Poetry is beautiful
from time to time.

It says a lot of things.

What the mouth cannot,
what the heart feels,
what the eyes see,
what the ears hear,
what the brain hides.

Poetry is real
all the time.

I trust in poetry,
hoping
people will learn and love it
since before it's a song.
Alexa Picaulima Jan 2016
I didn't wanna write poetry about you.
For you to think
that you were special to me
would be a defect to my pride.
It was absolute.
Now everything I write
is about you.
Hey, darling...
You, yes, you down there.
I buried a secret with you.
I only hope you knew.
For what it's worth,
you are special.
Alexa Picaulima Aug 2015
We are all seeking

to find some solid ground to place our path.

Oftentimes, we search for this stability

in a person we have found along our rough roads.

But darling,

the very mantle in which our Earth rests

lays the unrest of relative motion of tectonic plates.

It is all dynamic dance of elements and energy out there.

But in here,

the core of our souls,

in the acceptance of this nature,

we can recreate.
Alexa Picaulima Jan 2014
The world stands before I
Everything seems wry
Why, oh why
Don't seem natural, they look shy
I wanna fly
High
High til I reach the sky
Why, God why?
People are sly
They lie
Change in a blink of an eye

Yeah, I don't know why
But I wanna cry
I've had enough try
My soul's gone dry
Let me just fly
Away from the gravity that I defy
Til I can finally rely
On goods that qualify
Don't let me die
See me now cry
Kiss me goodbye
And watch me go by
RIP
Alexa Picaulima Dec 2015
RIP
In crowded places
seeing people walk around
knowing you're not amongst
honey, that's one strange feeling.
Alexa Picaulima Oct 2014
If walls could talk
They could be my best friends.

If walls could move
They could have protected my best friend.

If walls could hate
The three people who hurt my best friend would all be buried under it.

If walls could.
If only walls could.
Alexa Picaulima Nov 2014
I don’t know.
I don’t care anymore.
I said,
Do you know that
when autumn comes
trees get sad?
Watching all those leaves get blown away.
Their beauty,
their pride,
their charm.
Slowly being torn apart by the soft cold wind.
They beg mercy.
They beg life.
You don’t get it.
They cry,
waiting for winter to end.
But when it does,
do you think they get happy?
Alexa Picaulima Oct 2014
He's twenty-seven,
still dreaming about his dreams.
I'm nineteen,
still not sure of my dreams.

Eight year difference...
People say I've got so many years ahead,
that I've still got a long way to go.
Do I really?

I was 11 when I thought life would be a journey of forever.
Eight years later...
I found out
life is short.

Even if I live til I'm eighty,
or a hundred, or a thousand years old,
life would still be short.

It is shorter than a shot of tequila
Shorter than the memory of a goldfish
Shorter than the form of Zacchaeus
Shorter than the shorts Jakarta teenagers wear to malls these days

Time does not run slow like a snail
Time flies faster than the speed of light
Eight years from now is gonna be tomorrow
Who knows what lies ahead?

Eight years from now is gonna be right now
What could stop time?
Don't have an answer to that.

I don't know.

What I know is
that in the end,
we're all basically just shadflies crying for more days.

Pity.
Alexa Picaulima Aug 2016
I don't remember falling in love with you.
I just remember
how it was,
holding your hand,
realizing it was going to be
the last time
and how much it was going to hurt
when I would have to let it go.
Alexa Picaulima Jul 2016
It is slowly entering the months of rainy season.
One month,
Two months,
Three months,
November rains,
December ends.
Alexa Picaulima Jun 2014
Hot cocoa, roomboter
Still drained from the thunder
My hands are stiff
After jumping off a cliff
Alexa Picaulima Nov 2013
They've been haunting me
vividly
I don't know
which one
is right anymore
Alexa Picaulima Jan 2016
He turned blue on a starry night
and I was ripped apart
as he stayed
there forever.
Alexa Picaulima Dec 2014
There's a puzzle piece on top of a huge stone
So high above we cannot see

Some people walk around the stone
Mesmerized by the size

So focused on what's below, not knowing what's up there

What made it so hard? What made it so strong?

One went up
Fragile stone

Who put the puzzle piece up here?
You
Alexa Picaulima Jan 2016
You
You come every night
to say, "sleep tight",
and turn off the light

— The End —