It always amazes me
how gullible some people can be.
For they never take the time to try and see
just what the heck is going on with me.
They never take the time to realize
that all of my pain is hidden in my eyes.
Nor does it ever come to their minds that those tears of “joy" are actually tears of sorrow.
I’ve masked my pain for too long!
I don’t know how much longer I can hold on!
All I think about now is how much I long for that release,
by which people refer to as only something done by those who are weak.
They don’t understand how at ease it makes some of us feel
to cut ourselves and watch ourselves bleed.
They don’t understand that for some of us it feels good to do so
because it feels like we are ridding ourselves of our burdens.
I’ve masked my pain for so long
that it's getting to the point where I'm about to lose hope.
Yet there is a very faint voice inside my head
that tells me that someone in this world full of shades of gray,
that doesn't believe in my falsified bliss
and that they're coming to my rescue.
I really want this to be true,
so that my life will no longer be so blue.
I want to get rid of all of the lies
and say goodbye to this mask once and for all!
I myself don't cut or suffer from depression, but I do have friends that used to and I wrote this poem to express, in their words, what they felt like. This poem is dedicated to one friend in particular (whose name I shall not say), because she suffered from depression and cut herself for a very long time (long before I met her but it did last until about 1 year or 2 after I met her) because she had lost a few loved ones on the way (unfortunately, most of them were close friends of hers that committed suicide. These people were people that she tried to help, and I know that she put in every last ounce of strength that she had to help them.) I don't know if she has a Hello Poetry account, but if she does, and she happens to read this poem, I want her to know that I care about her and that I will ALWAYS be there for her no matter what!