Sweet uncertainty
was something I had to feed my body off of,
when there was nothing else to hold on to.
Everything was colorful,
for my eyes were trained to see signs
of soon-to-be-lives.
Now, when the only thing I've got
is the definite stain of ink on paper,
life is gray.
And gray is my favorite color.

Have you been able to look yourself in the eye
lately?
Or has darkness taken over
your vision?
You think you're seeing monsters,
but they're just mirrors.
They don't go away when she sun
comes up.

I'd been waiting for you
on purposeless summer days,
when warmth would kidnap
my breath and my will.
I wished for rain to clean my soul
of unwanted excuses,
of unpleasant nights
when unforgiving thoughts took over.
I want your colours to overwhelm
my grey lens,
and your taste of death
to remind me that I'm living.
With you, I'm sitting on the edge of a cliff,
lip biting my courage
into daring to take the plunge.
Oh, my-
I might be flying.

I am nothing but a spring flower,
waiting to rise from the once frozen ground
and claim her return.
I am nothing but the summer air,
with a tint of hope,
with a tint of freedom.
I am nothing but an autumn leaf,
counting down to the day
I let myself fall.
I am nothing but winter frost-
enchantingly
mesmerizingly
born from the cold.

Such a betrayal-
to be deserted on the floor by your own body,
to be reduced to darkness by your own eyelids,
to be denied air by your own lungs.
The senses fade,
the will vanishes,
the colours run dry.
Something has died.
And now flies swarm around my mind.

Has it really been that long since

flowers were blooming in my hair,

stars were shining in my eyes

and tingles were dancing on my lips?

It feels like only yesterday that

you picked all my flowers,

shot at my stars

and pressed your lips to mine

until all the tingles faded.

Has it really been that long

Since I fell into a deep winter?

Maybe spring’s just around the corner.

I remember you told me
I was like a lit candle -
Warm and soothing,
But dangerous,
When left unattended.
If I had known you’d leave,
I would’ve burned down
The house we built so
Carefully.
But when you slammed the door shut
That last time,
You put out my flame.