There is one thing that ought to be taught in all the colleges,
Which is that people ought to be taught not to go around always making apologies.
I don't mean the kind of apologies people make when they run over you or borrow five dollars or step on your feet,
Because I think that is sort of sweet;
No, I object to one kind of apology alone,
Which is when people spend their time and yours apologizing for everything they own.
You go to their house for a meal,
And they apologize because the anchovies aren't caviar or the partridge is veal;
They apologize privately for the crudeness of the other guests,
And they apologize publicly for their wife's housekeeping or their husband's jests;
If they give you a book by Dickens they apologize because it isn't by Scott,
And if they take you to the theater, they apologize for the acting and the dialogue and the plot;
They contain more milk of human kindness than the most capacious diary can,
But if you are from out of town they apologize for everything local and if you are a foreigner they apologize for everything American.
I dread these apologizers even as I am depicting them,
I shudder as I think of the hours that must be spend in contradicting them,
Because you are very rude if you let them emerge from an argument victorious,
And when they say something of theirs is awful, it is your duty to convince them politely that it is magnificent and glorious,
And what particularly bores me with them,
Is that half the time you have to politely contradict them when you rudely agree with them,
So I think there is one rule every host and hostess ought to keep with the comb and nail file and bicarbonate and aromatic spirits on a handy shelf,
Which is don't spoil the denouement by telling the guests everything is terrible, but let them have the thrill of finding it out for themselves.

From afar
Seated busdriver
Patting little, old man
-In a rediculous hat
That once wasn't-
On the shoulder.

I lipread
No problem, just take
A seat, ol'-timer
Answered with gratitude
Like a little, old sun
On his little, old face.

Letting him in
Free of charge
As all should be for
Any senior.

Love. Your every
Guise
Charms me.

Somehow A Salty Teardrop
Managed To Fall From My Eye

*~Marian~

How
many
people
Am I?!

You never see a tree actually grow but you know that it constantly is growing;
You never see your tire blow out when you're on the highway hitting 90 but you know when it does;
You never see the world actually spinning but you know that you are never standing still;
You never see her falling in love with you but you know that she constantly is;
You never see yourself dying every time she looks into your eyes but you know that you are wearing out faster & faster each & every time your eyes make contact with each other.

I never saw you actually leave but I know you had left me months before I ever noticed you were gone.

& on that note, I would just like to say one thing:

Just because you never saw me trying to make you fall in love with me doesn't mean I never tried,
& just because the world seems more exciting & tempting than my arms, doesn't mean they deserve you more than I do,
& just because we're not together anymore doesn't mean we're still not in love with each other,
& just because you never think about me anymore doesn't mean that i'm out of your life for good,
& just because your eyes don't cry my name out anymore & your body doesn't crave my touch, doesn't mean that this world is going to stop spinning just for me & that the plants are going to cry after seeing my tears fall like meteorites to the dirt floor.

& the last thing I will ever really tell you before you never speak to me again is:

I'm sorry I tried so hard,
for you deserve someone that would not just try, but do.
I'm sorry I loved you so hard,
for you deserve someone that would take a bullet for you & not just be the one with the gun.
I'm sorry I made you my world,
for you deserve someone that could show you off to the world, not just make you into one.
I'm sorry I never tried harder,
for you deserve someone that would go to the end of the universe just to get you the last glass of water you will ever take a sip from.
I'm sorry I argued so much,
for you deserve a gentlemen that would show you the ropes of conversation, not light fire to every word you say.
I'm sorry I considered you my heaven,
for you deserve someone that not only worships you, but dies every time you speak & melts to muck right as your toes dip into the pool.

Just because life has gotten dull & people are now just metaphors for cloudy days, doesn't mean that this rain is constantly going to be falling on my umbrella & making me think of all the times your fingers pushed my hair out of my face during a thunderstorm;
& just because I wrote this for you, doesn't mean you will ever read it.

Samuel walked up to his boss
and demanded in no uncertain terms:
"You'd best give me a pay rise -
you might want to know
3 companies are after me"

"Wow," said Samuel's boss
deeply impressed. "Which companies?"

"Oh," came Samuel's swift reply
*"The telephone,  electricity
and water companies"

when i was young
someone asked
    "what superpower do you wish for?"
no hesitation -
i replied
     "invisibility"

i grew up realising
it came true