i fell in love with a shadow of a man,
all smoke and mirrors,
but the smoke is thick and dark-
it circles around my lungs and squeezes
when he is not with me;
he embodies the mirror 'cause god
the only time i see myself
is when i'm looking up at him.

i fell in love with a shadow of a man...
and now i am nothing
but smoke and mirrors.
-a.c.b

staring at my smile
cracking in the mirror
wondering if i could save myself
if my mind was a little clearer

it's like i'm driving through the fog
with my high-beams on
spiraling into the same long night
to the tune of our song.

i've always been a little too used to
people saying there's always there
then picking up the phone and only being greeted
by the same empty air

but with him i hoped would be different--
my angel, ripped and scarred
fell for him unconditionally
a little too fast and a little too hard.

he suffers from the same
lack of happiness as do i
drowning in sweaty cotton sheets
as the flashbacks start to cry.

but while he's off fighting
his own demons' shrine
i'm left there alone because
he's got no time for mine

it's day 10 of this madness
and i'm worn down to the bone
it's late here and i can't do this anymore
just thought you should know

that if you're going to stay in my life
you have to put in the time
to talk me down from this ledge
every
****
time.
-a.c.b

my words have always been the strongest part of me.
solid, loud;
they scream my thoughts for me when i can't even get out a whisper...
but lately i haven't been writing as much.
my once resilient syllables are now translucent snowflakes
floating in the air, shattering on my bedroom floor
with each tear.
they are unsure of themselves, a string of vowels and consonants
so violently aware
that there's been a change;
my words have finally failed me.
-a.c.b

I have been feeling too much
So I can’t feel anything at all.
I’ve been so full,
But the pain became invisible.
I know it is there, but I can’t see it.

Sometimes I have to remind myself
That the reason I’m feeling light headed
Is because I haven’t taken a breath in almost 2 minutes.

fall in love with someone
who treats your scars
like birthmarks