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 Mar 2014 alan spivey
alan spivey
buried underneath  the piles of ruble
it took just a deeper look
just to see
me

not as a boyfriend, lover, best friend or other
not to see the lonesome heart or  son or brother
a deeper look to see
me
i am of no other
trials and mishaps did not ****
so  they only showed my strengths
i have not had my fill

a deeper look
showed a heart
struggle
a life
love beyond all reasonable means
it showed me........ me


a deeper look
what i have been searching for
was ........
me
 Mar 2014 alan spivey
Mara Kennet
Elvira Madigan looks at him
While he is shaving,
This is a chronic disease
Underneath my soul is sinful grease
Darkness blackness, the lack of light
I am so tired to fight
So tired to fight
I love you
There is no cure
I love you
I am a liar
my love is not pure
my life is dirt,  distilled sin
I am so tired to fight
I won’t ever win
Elvira Madigan kisses her lover
I am imagining I am kissing you
Elvira Madigan leans forward, kisses him
He still has a blade in his hand,
He unclamps the vessel with his desires,
He unclamps his hand
The blade falls off
This is so dangerous
Like …..Love.
 Mar 2014 alan spivey
AJ
Spring is coming,
And that means my cough gets bad,
And I need to take more medicine,
And my depression gets worse.
I know I have a mental breakdown coming,
But I have been putting it off
Because I simply don't have time.

I bought a tape measure,
And every day
Twice a day
I measure my stomach
My chest
My neck
My thighs
My arms
My waist
And my calves.
And I mark down the date, time and measurement.

I'm trying to stop the vomiting part,
But lately it has actually been working out quite nicely.
I'm going to work on it, though.
It's messy and gross and shameful.
My dream cycle continues after my eyes first open
But they're as fleeting as the feelings I've tried to rope in.
It was a hassle to make the lasso for it was a vast chore
I see more than I speak, wondering what people wear the mask for.
Trading in the conversating to check how I am operating
Too many problems we've been elongating,
It's frustrating, and painstakingly obvious we've been separating
When only, our thoughts are rearranging, fluctuating, and demonstrating -
New ways to gain power.  So I'm trying new ways to spend my hours
Find bliss through lists I want to accomplish.
Melancholy thoughts can create or demolish
And so through routine, our being, we must constantly polish.
Free yourselves from the skull and get astonished
by the magic in the universe, inside your soul.
You're carefully crafting this fractal of reality that we see,
with every thought
Letting go is a must, even with things we had sought.
The spirit speaks, listen to what it has taught, and is currently teaching.
Your higher self will take you to higher peaks, so where are you reaching?

Does it serve yourself enough to be happy within?

Accepting the oneness and your ability to inspire, a new life begins.
 Feb 2014 alan spivey
karin naude
for better or for worst
once i was blessed to know the wonder of love, acceptance and complete trust. the trio loosened, watered and nurtured my fertile soil and the future harvest took root and grew strong and wild always reaching to the skies. the farmer never got to see the harvest only the green carpet slowly hinting to change.
who is willing to take over the farmers work and tend to the lush green carpet bulging with potential? many has come forward but with hidden agendas bend on enriching the self camouflaged in the "greater good". these over time do and did and will do more damage than nature ever can inflict. despite all this the land is still present, still fertile, still growing and still hoping for a good farmer. imagining that the true owner has just gotten lost and took a few wrong turns but faith will be the morning star and lead wandering feet home. to the land in time to rejuvenate life and bring in a golden brown ripe harvest that will leave eyes wet and breathless with disbelieve at the abundance and riches despite all the hardship and pain
 Feb 2014 alan spivey
karin naude
in avoiding the mirror i avoid a constant reminder that i am not even half the woman i once dream t of becoming. half completed and scorched remains is all that remains of once ambitious blue prints.
upon the question what caused the derailment no answer can be given.
how do you formulate a solution if the source cannot be identified? continues moments of these form ties that relate to a rope in representing a life and in these ties its always advisable to add a extra tie called faith and prayer for it keeps the sanity, it strengthens the resolve of the rope to remain whole and helps to carry the weight.
in this lies my hope
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