Talking to the inner child within
I called your name many times and knocked at the door. You didn’t answer in the past so I figured I would try one last time. I am glad you answered this time.
I know you are mad and scared , I left you alone as did the others, from the rush of everything I didn’t look back to see if you were following me, when I finally looked back you were nowhere to be found.
So I dropped everything and started wandering place to place looking for you, searching through people some good, some bad. Some people helped, some took away. So I kept on searching, I almost gave up when I heard a little child cry , I kept listening and listening no one was around, people left or walked away. I was feeling as if I lost my world. So when I heard the child’s cries. I started looking around still no child to be found then I sat back down and put my head in my hands thinking looking around still hearing the child, closer and closer it seems to get. I felt my heart jump at one point something startled me. The sound was coming from within me, the child and the cries; I started feeling the pains, the anguish. The remorse and despair was so thick trying to find you was tough the more I searched the thicker it became. Then I realized what it was I was seeing the inside of myself , how can this be I thought then I realized I let things get to me over time, and let people hurt and cause me pain and sadness along the way. I wasn’t enjoying life or living a dream I was encased without escape, encased by those who pushed and shoved, demanded and scorned until it built and built a scar of hurt and pain. Work and work, do my say don’t think. When I started doing my own thinking that’s when I heard your cries.
It took me a little while you know and loss of many good people and help along the way, but I am here and have been knocking at the door for some time, and yelling your name; so again thank you for answering the door this time, I was almost out of ideas as to what to do next it would have been a long road back to nowhere.
Can we talk? Would you like to tell me what is on your mind and your thoughts all this time?
If it is yes , get your shoes I know it’s been a long time since you have been out , and I will get you some sunglasses to protect your eyes until you become accustom to the sun , but first as I kneel down to his level so he can see me face to face , will you ever forgive me and accept my apologies for all those many lost years when you should have been with me and not hidden deep inside.
If you are ready lets go we may even go get some ice-cream, do a little fishing ,play in the mud puddles during the rain and maybe even after; what do you say? Sound like a good plan. Play games, lets meet people together who knows who or what we may run into, but I am here now with you and this time everywhere I go you are with me and if you are slow that’s find we have plenty of time. Come on lets go see what’s out there are you ready this will be new to you , let me see it through your eyes this time where my eyes are weary you have to yet see it all so maybe you will see something I have overseen.
Thank you for opening up the door. I love you
Written by Alan Spivey 5/31/2012