How I wish I were talking to you
I know what you'd say
You'd be kind
Too kind
And I'd ask you to tell me the raw truth
And maybe you would
You'd tell me how it never really goes
And I'm going to have to learn to live with it
Just as you have all these years
And I'll ask you how you've done it
And you'll tell me something beautiful
And I'll laugh
And I'll cry
And you'll do the same
And we'll be each other's again
Just for the night
Until the morning
When my beautiful words say I'm leaving
And your beautiful words say goodbye.

My gentle lavender lily,
I don't know how to fix this life,
And maybe I never will,
And maybe I am completely wrong in my own being,
In my own skull.

But keep going,
Forever,
And let it all happen,
Because I think some people weren't supposed to happen,
Because I think some people are just meant to live.

All June ever wanted was to feel.
She was going into winter -
Always, every year
And she never knew what to do with herself.

'Please let me be summer'
Was it odd that she secretly enjoyed the cold?
She would never tell
She prayed for warmth but was forever attached to the bitter sting of rain and numb fingers.

'I want to be loved'
Oh June, don't you know how much they adore you?
Their tears turn into frosted art under your touch
Their stars float like icicles above their heads, waiting to melt in the creamy sun and rush rivers over their world.

Eventually June got her wish.

'Why can't I just feel normal?'
June asked
'Why can't I just be me again?'

Why am I thinking about you on this day,
Out of the blue?
I'm worried I still love you.

What an odd thing to say,
Who fears love?
Only one so broken up.

Moon cried out, 'I'm worried I still love you,'
'That's so stupid, moon,' said Sun,
'you can't love someone for that long.'

What the **** are you even saying?
Moon thought to herself,

I could love you for a lifetime.

Oh sweet girl,
when will you learn?
to pull your ******* skirt down.

do what he says
be quiet
just smile

touch yourself
no, don't do that it's gross
only he's allowed to touch you

have a baby
no, wait, don't
wait, yes now he wants one

you're bleeding?
keep working
**** it up *****

open your mouth
be daddy's little girl
****, *****, gold digger

you want it?
I know you do
******* you stupid *****

no, too fat
too thin
now she's just right
wait, actually do you have a non-talking one?

I love you
so much I'll pay you 87 cents to the dollar
I bet you feel special now, don't you baby

cook for me
clean for me
look after - wait what's his name again? - for me

you're seventeen?
that's okay, I'll still let you look after me
one day I might get you a longer leash

she said I touched her?
no, she's ******* hysterical
she really wanted it when I did it without asking

you want the world?
I can give it to you
here's a baby and financial dependancy

you want more?
you want equality?
for ***** sake woman we gave you suffrage and university
why can't you just be ******* grateful?

you're a lesbian?
that's hot
now let me show you what a man feels like

not a ******? you're a *****
never had ***? amateur
there must be something wrong with you

there's a scary man?
don't worry, I'll protect you
do I get a little reward princess?

pull up your skirt, let me see your ***
no, idiot, pull it down
leave something to the imagination

yeah baby, you're hot
but you're really just a ****
and I'm a man who hates women.

I guess it does make me sad sometimes
The gaps on my wall
Places that you used to be
Now just empty
It’s like you’re drifting away
A ghost
And I do wonder if it all was real
If it hadn’t been how does it feel so real
I can still remember that day in the gardens
It is strange
Stranger
That’s all you are now
But I know every tiny detail about you
But I’m not supposed to anymore
I’m supposed to forget that you like the colour purple, like my grandpa
Forget how you chew your nails
The disapproving looks you’d give me
Those nights
The way that you sleep
And I’m supposed to be sad about it
I don’t think about it
But when I go into great detail
Like the first night we kissed
Eating neapolitan ice cream
You putting aloe Vera on my sunburnt feet
Me making you kiss my dog three times
It doesn’t feel real
And then it always circles back to how bad you’d make me feel
And I remember why I shouldn’t feel terrible
I remember why it can’t work
And now I’ll never know you like that again
Probably never even speak again.