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Aimin Dec 2018
To all the friends that I have helped,
The only wish I have
Is to do it again
and again.

When my life marked no purpose,
When I was so lost and halfway broken,
You were never not there to ignite my days
With your pack of cigarettes and your care
To remind me that my life is more
Than what my depression tells.

How can I ever repay the comrades
Whose role in my life
Was to save me from
My own fall?

Have I done enough for them?
Have I returned the favour
At all?

Thank you saving me,
When I couldn't be
My own saviour.

AOA
friends friendship love appreciation happy
Aimin Dec 2018
My mind feels
As though it
Flickers.
“Tick,
Tic,
Ti,
T.”

To experience ADD
is to have your brain
Switch between
Six different channels,
Six different themes.
It will always feel like you are
Rocketing between things.

In the span of a second,
Your mind will explore the dying children
In Mozambique.
In the next ponder,
Your mind indulges in the roleplay of
Naruto and the pink-haired chick.

I have no power over
Who dances in my play.
I know they bring flames,
But I’m uncertain as to
Who is managing the stage.
I am the director of this show, yet
I was banned to say.

The show has no ending, no beginning,
My life didn't come with instructions.
So I ****** it up and just lived with it.

In the moments that I daydream,
I always force myself to be in the present.
In fear that the world will think
I'm too dumb or complacent.
But that's just how my brain works.

Ten seconds gone,
I am travelling across the pool.
A red bruise on my lips and
A crack on my tooth.
I ask myself again,
Then and there,
How and when
Did I get this bruise?

It can be such a disadvantage,
It can be such a gift.
To be wholesome in a way,
But to also lack the basics.

I feel like I’m constantly living between
The two binary opposites.
As regulating emotions
can become a huge problem
I  may have creativity and the sway,
But I'm also managing my impulsivity every day.

Do you know
Why I zone out
And lose focus?
My world inside
Can just be too chaotic.
But trust that I'm working on it.

Regardless,
I know this faucet will flow seamlessly
And being more aware of this condition
Will only help me manage it.

So what have I to lose,
In the midst of this plight?
I’ve been writing a lot of poetry,
Haven’t I?

AOA
Aimin Dec 2018
Have patience in me
I can be good
Believe me

Most days I struggle
To find purple
from the green
Most days I struggle
To peep away
From the screen

I can be
Impulsive
Obsessively pursuing
My interests.
I can be
So immersed
In the wonders
Of the craziest.

I am sorry
For always choosing
Decadence.
When my mind
Is challenged,
I tend to be
more
                  careless.

I apologize
If my ponders
Are your troubles
I apologize
If my dreams
Cost you hours

I realize
I have been me
Apologetically.
It’s reached a point
Where I need to
Set my own bounty.

At the grander
Scheme
Of things,
I believe,
I own the right
To be,
whoever
I
Resonate
To be(!)

So ultimately,
You can choose to stay
Or leave.
And
Honestly,
Neither choice will bother me.
                                              
                 ­                                      (Anymore)
adhd depression sorry mess self-love love pride attention

— The End —