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Aileen May 2015
as pathetic as it sounds,
im having withdrawal symptoms
from being away from you
and id like to say im handling it
but im really not
because i miss your voice
and your touch
and you overall presence
and i can feel my chest caving in
and my head really hurts
please come back and hold me like you used to
or at least tell me that you miss me
because holy *******’re destroying me
and not hearing from you
makes every day a little harder
because the truth is all i want to do
is sleep so i can see your face
for a little while
october 22, 2014
october 22, 2014
Aileen May 2015
forgetting is one of the hardest things to do
when i feel like you've been burned into
the deepest,darkest parts of me;
the one's that cannot be touched by human hands
but only by the words and stolen looks.

i swear your words have never failed to make me smile;
the sweetness and sincerity poured out of so many messages.
i sometimes wonder if you even really meant them at all

who could forget the times you've touched my skin?
i know i can't; i've tried to wash you away so many times.
it was never anything intimate, but rather simplistic and genuine.
but now i hate the feeling of yearning for you
to simply hold my hand or hug me
for what seems like days

you're an image of pure bliss but you feel like hell.
and i want you so bad but not in any way
except for you to be mine to hold and to talk to
when it's one in the morning and we're struggling to stay awake.
that's what it used to be like
except now you have her
and i don't hear from you.

i'm stuck remembering everything that happened between us
and everything about you;
form the smell of your cologne, to the way your voice sounds,
to the way you used to make me feel.
i felt like i was actually worth being who i am
because someone excused my flaws.
i guess that's why it's so hard for me to let you go.

i used to love thinking of us because it never hurt this much.
but now the more i think of you, the more it hurts.
so all those late nights and endless conversations that haunt me
and  probably mean nothing to you
make me wish i had nothing to remember
april 13th 2015
1031 pm
Aileen May 2018
dear everyone,
im sorry for to the way i act when
the anxiety takes over
my mind
my body
my life.
my mind is not my own
my mind has been taken over
so the nights i sit in bed
going over situations that will never happen
until i can no longer sleep
i wake up in the morning
more tired than the day before
but i have to get up
prentend everythung is okay
im normal, im happy, im okay
Aileen May 2018
hello again.
how are you?
i guess im alright.
im "happy" im healthy, he's great
how's your life?
your life without me
your life with her
because sometimes it seems like you don't want her
but i guess it's not my problem, but your own
because one day i will not be there to answer your call
and speaking of that
when you come around
you pull on the strings that i thought i cut
and buried deep in the ground
but i'll always say hello,
go through the motions,
and pretend that we never existed
but we never say goodbye
only once have we
so how many more times will you come around
and when will we finally say
goodbye.

— The End —