oh what is it that i love about people?
not people, him to be exact;
a day pass by and another week come closer to my existence,

i keep reminding myself,
that it is a fleeting moment,
i need to find a flaw on you, for me to find closure on myself,
so i, would not fall in another trap and another game of mine,

a week pass by, and a new month greets my eyes,
i am still pondering on how and what did i fall for, in you?
is it by interlocking our eyes while we share our laughter,
or is it the comfort that you gave me while making conversation to me?

oh once more, i have made a fool out of myself,
to fall for someone at a first sight? absurd!
but i know, fate would not let us meet again sooner,
however now, i am missing you still,
and i will bury this feeling inside my grave.

oh please god,
forbid me from feeling dejected,
from the way I see it,
I am slaughtering myself,
skin by skin, layer by layer,
without a call of mercy,
deep inside my chambers of Heart,
so never again;
I would bear
any agonising pain,
that would take the life of me.

i want to be loved
i want to be held
when no one’s watching
or a million crowds staring
i want my love to be seen
and i want to be loved seen

i want the moon to be the witness of the night
when i am crying
i want the sun to be the witness of the day
when i am shining
i want the flowers to be the witness of our love
when i am growing

i want to be loved,
i wanted and i want,
but still, it slips through my fingers because i couldn’t have it.

if only tears can talk,
maybe it can speak for the things
that i shut myself for.

i feel like if i am really vulnerable,
i would actually try doing something that isnt so me,
i would try all the ***** i despised,
drugs, smoke, sell myself, and back to self-harm again even,
i would actually do it,
but in the back of my mind,
i could see a version of me,
being disappointed of myself,
when they found out,
their faces of disgust and disappointment,
i would rather die in a second than seeing that;
or am i the only who are just expecting too much?