Peace, serenity, brilliant,
More calming than any breeze.
I put my trust in thy arm,
On my heart thy name a stamp.
Lead on, I follow thy steps with zeal,
And my strength thou wilt ever be.

Backing me into a corner–
No way of escaping.
Worth this trouble?
No– not I– but I knew it would turn in this way.
That it would become this,
No matter the original innocence.
My innocence.
Soiled by others' hands and lips who strayed too far.
back me up,
chiding, chastising,
Cornered.
With my trust compromised…

Fragile.
Breakable.
That's what I told Him I was.
And all I wanted was for Him to
Help.
Heal.
Can't He do it?
Can I let myself trust
Him
Change me from
Broken and
Bitter
To something new?
Because He suffered for me,
Understanding perfectly that
My mistakes would happen,
He is there.
Already holding my hand,
Lifting me above the thorns
To somewhere beautiful.

Promising to heal me if I let Him lead.

Heartache clings to me like a child,
And quite at times.
But pain takes a lead
As the child starts screaming,
Clawing at my arm,
Drawing blood.
I try to hush the child,
But get bitten instead.
Giving in,
The child gets more candy
And more of whatever she wants.
Peace for now...
Quiet.


Soon to go again like a merry go round

So proud and grand the great trees stood
While in the forest green.
Their roots spread far across the ground
Carpeting the scene.
Not a one went deep for it was known
That the tallest was the king,
That was, until the torrents, winds,
The trials took the lead.
The old and young alike groaned loud,
And shouts of anger heard,
But one by one the proud trees fell
And could not rise again.
They put on a splendor but didn't remember
The deep roots made them strong.
They spent on display but to their dismay
The king of trees grows stronger than they.

So when the wind blows and trials ensue
Cling to the king of trees.
He will not waiver
But ever remember
To strengthen your roots as well.

The forest grows grand,
The king is the anchor.
When the wind now blows
There is only music in the leaves to be heard.

You
left.
not that I blame you, it was beyond your control.
Now I'm here,
Fighting my demons, again on my own,
Clinging to the hope that
I'm strong. I can get on. This will work out.
as the echoes return.
Drowning out these voices is impossible.
Remembering how your
voice
Was the only thing that calmed them.
…Tears running down my cheeks every hour.

I feel like I will lose…just like I lost you.

Goodbye.
The hardest thing I have ever said…