i wake up, go to work, do homework, go to bed.
im fueled by *****, stale prezels, reds, and betrayal
hangover after hangover, i do the same things
over and over expecting a different outcome.
am i crazy or am i just surviving?
no more smoking. no more drinking. no more pills.
detox and start working out.
lose yourself to find it.
i find nothing in all the new beginnings
but I have lost everything.
i no longer recognize the woman in the mirror.
shes empty and thin--why can no one see that?
they see the lashes, the tiny body, the hair
they tell me im intimidating
theyre so lucky to be able to talk to me.
they take what they want
and leave like the rest.
i am no longer living, just surviving