There are French fries all over the floor
The microwave won't ******* shut off
You're shouting, I'm screaming
A Spotify add joins in on our duet.
You tell me I didn't really have a miscarriage
And I swear the death inside me kicked.
The microwave is still humming
Accompanied by loud rhythmic beeps
You want to leave, you need to leave.
I push you back and block the way
All I want is fix this to fix us
I've never seen you like this
You throw the table
I've never seen myself like this
I slap you so hard...
Both of us are a shattered mess
Laughing truanting threats
You storm out and free
My war torn soul
I relapse and begin pleading
Death take me and heal me
This scratch on my neck
The cracking of my voice
There are French fries on the floor
And I am done.

Everything is ****
These beautiful words
Strung together
They glorify
Hate anger lust
Immortalize the betrayal
Minimize the absolute pain
Remind me I am nothing
To you, to me, to the world
My actions, thoughts, deeds
Meaningless
You finally ripped
The tattered and worn
Flimsy strings
Our soul
Executed


Everything is ****, and all of this is a ******* joke to you.

everything I see with you is now grey
nothing even close to white or black.
You always believed in yes/no.
Everything is one way or the other.
But nothing is any way anymore.
I lost myself trying
Turning grey to something pure
For you
I tried to dull the voices in my head
Shouting that grey is okay.
you are okay
I molded myself to him
The voices were strong.
but I am too strong
The pills weren't enough.
The drugs, the liquor, the cigarettes
Couldn't even hope to contain me
But how could they.
I am powerful and dreadful
I can think of no more honorable way
To lose true love.
The only black/white thing in my life.
Remaining, nothing but a blur of the two
The voices shout to leave leave leave
My heart shouts please
No more, no more, no more
But my soul...
Our soul betrays me.
Until my soul can be free,
We will stand and fight another day
Together. Bonded. Permanent.
Until that wonderful day
When all ties cut from you
The light dims
And my soul finds its end.

time and space merge
our failures don't matter
our successes don't matter
our energies transform
we must fight
find each other again
but all is worth it
for even 9 months with you

Negativity
Fills my being
claws deep and powerful
my heart
Oh my heart
The pain
From your persistence
No one would blame you if you stopped.
Ended this
Retire my frame
The earth, wanting
Needing the life
I willingly release.
Rehouse me
Re-frame me
A new chance
To find my path-my love
A creature
most beautiful and horrifying
In a more perfect way

what I wouldn’t give to be able to simply throw up over and over again until it’s like you were never here

I scratch compulsively at the ink that binds us together endlessly; until the day it's stain is no longer part of me

what I wouldn't give to somehow be released from the eternal flame that is our love--our love, that in 5 words, went from the sweetest of gifts to the darkest of curses.

I long for the sweet release of death to finally wipe the dirtied slate clean, and end the torture that is life without you.