He touches
My hair
All the time,
Plays with the
Edges and
Fragments,
And sometimes reminds me that
"I can braid,
You know."
Sometimes he does.

Sometimes he mimics me
In History class
From across the room,
And he laughs at all my jokes,
Even when they aren't funny,
Just
Stupid.

And occasionally,
When I'm sitting in my little niche
Between his desk
And Ellie's,
Right on the cold tile,
He'll attach his forehead to mine
And just look at me.
Sometimes he'll whisper,
"Nose,"
And point to it,
And I just giggle
And break the stare.

I don't even think he feels it,
The wishing to always be near him,
To have his fingers in my hair
All the time,
And for his laugh to be
My soundtrack.

I don't think
That when he stares into my eyes
He wants to kiss me
As bad
As I want
To kiss
Him.

I wont back down the next time you spit in my face
or stab me in the back, next time i am going to teach you your place
next time i am going to teach what its like to suffer
and there will not be pads to act as a buffer
you think your hot stuff
well kid your not tuff
you want to start a fight
well i don't bark i just bite
so come get some, get what you got coming

ill tell you this much, when you do i wont be limping away,
because my stupidity and macho ego lead me astray,
ill be the only one left standing, only one still proud
but still i am sure you will be be so stupid and so loud

you want a fight
good ill bath in your blood later that night
you want to run your mouth well have no doubt
i'll be the one to knock you out.
Bring your friends, let them join the fun
I'll be the only one left when all is said and done

walking down the path and who do i see
a girl who makes me wanna be
the guy she deserves, and that guy ism't me

so my first thought is what do i say
it needs to be something, but she takes my breathe away
she standing there so cute and sweet
being near her is a real treat,

we haven't talked in a few weeks,
and now my knees feel all weak
so she says "we haven't talked in a while", yea and since we stopped i feel dead
we hug and i don't remember what i said,

since then i have her stuck in my head
thinking bout my mistakes and feel like staying in bed
because now all the emotions i suppressed
about her have me depressed

it sounds lame and i guess it is,
but i just wish i knew what it is
that makes me feel this way
why is it when she is around i don't know what to say

lame i am, cause i can still feel that hug
and her  being so cute, but its just a hug
and i mean nothing to her,
of course i do not know this for sure

but i guess its better to move on
even if she is cute as a button
i will not linger around, i'll go away
i just wish i knew what words to say

your boyfriend should be glad your his
i wish he knew how lucky he is
to be yours and not the loser writing poems
do you make him feel at home?

does he have a past the binds him
to not do what others did to him?
does he only feel normal with you?
guess he is better for you

than i could ever be
why do i still want you with me?
why is it, i know you deserve better
but i want you still, yea you deserve better

well i am sitting here with the knife
desperate, and lonely, i'm gonna end my life
a cut here, a cut there
knife sharp enough to split hair

my body goes slack,
i fall on my back
it looks like an attack,
but it doesn't fade to black

i stop cutting after that attempt
cause i guess my death isn't meant
i meet her and feel wanted
but i am still haunted

from the ghost of my past
how long will this last?
the memories of that hell
the come back, and you can't tell

cause i keep my emotions hid
and bottled and boxed up, and sealed with a lid
i meet her, and its good for awhile
and then it is like being in trial

we break up, and i am alone
to my thoughts that have the same tone,
i am worthless
i am useless

so i am sitting here with this knife
ready to end my pathetic life
if not bound by a promise, blood i would lack,
but now it all fades to black

you ask me daily who she is
and i lie and say its no one
but you see right through that
and keep asking me

so this is to let you know
that it is you,
please don't hate me
or see me differently....