My space
   Filled with all I should ever need. A bed, blankets; clothes and shoes everywhere, a window to see the world outside. For Gods sake I even have my own bathroom!

But I don't have you.

My gadgets
   Smartphone, computers, TV, Blue Ray, cable, gaming system, ..... Got plenty of gadgets. Mechanical, impersonal, cold. Jeeze, I spend a lot of time with them.

But I don't have you.

My time
   I'm free to do most anything I want. No job, yet I have money. No car, yet I can still get around. Responsibilities few. Why am I wasting so much time? Oh the potential!

But I don't have you

My friends
   One good friend. We can talk, listen, understand, support, trust one another. Others are around, not close though. Not the same. What do I do for them? Sadly, not much really.

But I don't have you

My family
   I've got parents. They support me, annoy me. They care and love me. Pets too. All around. It's..... good. Am I grateful?

I have all of this around me, and more
But I don't have you

Unfolding each life
Caught between worlds so different
So lost

I feel the pressure
Crushing
It steals my breath

I'm losing focus
I'm losing
Desire

Circling down
As I am....

Unfolding each life
Caught between worlds so different
So lost

I feel the pressure
Crushing
It steals my breath

I'm losing focus
I'm losing
Desire

Circling down
As I am.....

Darkness is a spiral.
It ***** you in.
Pulls at you.
In parts you never knew you had.

Unrelenting
Drowning
Lower and lower and lower
Until....

Languishing empty,
   nothing
but darkness.
      Pure sweet darkness.
The ebony walls,
   are void of thought.
They surround me,
      comfortly engulf me.
   Holding my freedom.

Trying to let go
the internal struggle
won't
let
me
FREE!

I'm trapped in the turmoil
lost in the depths.
Where
is
my
HIGH?

Reach out to me
Give me a hand
Lift
Me
UP!

Moving on
my thoughts and me.
It's hard, so hard
making it,
      free and clear.
The wave of darkness flows in
and around my thoughts.
I push it aside
and for a moment it works.
But like the ocean
the wave
always
    comes
          back.

Yet,
I keep trying.

They say that if you do something over and over again, it becomes a habit. That habit becomes a part of you.

Imagine me....

With the sea wall up
Strong
     Secure
          Alive
        ........Free

Released from the darkness.
Released from the pain.
Released to what's clear.
Released to the change.

This says write a poem
What if
   Your mind is numb
The slate is blank
There's no ink in the pen?

What do you do?

The stillness in my mind
it's not a comfort.
It's
so empty.
Nothing is there.
Where are my thoughts?

I look close,
still nothing.
It's gone, all gone.
So black in a place where pictures and words should be.

I feel so lost.
No where to go,
nothing to say.
Communication is gone.
I am alone in this darkness.

Am I alone?
The only one,
with a mind that's blank?
Please
answer me.......

in your voice
that look in your eyes
sends currents of impending dread
coursing though every part of my being.

Through all my lives I've loved you.
With each one you were my constant.     You were always there.

What's happened?
In this life I only have the dream.
There's never a face

I feel you,
     I sense you,
          I know you.

This life can be no different.
You are out there.
I keep thinking I've found you, but.....
it's not right,
not you.

I think I'm learning though, I need to stop looking for you.
To stop the search and just let it happen.
It's not I who has to find you, it's we who will find one another.

It won't be right
   You won't be right
        We won't be right
Until we find each other.
Then, the face that is missing
will be seen.

Those cuts, the bruises, the burns. It can't be because of me. It can't be FOR me! Doing this is a hateful act. Selfish. For you, and you alone. You are choosing to do it. It's not loving or giving. It doesn't show me that you love ME. What it does show me is that you are willing to hurt others, by hurting yourself. You are truly doing this only for YOU!

Why would I want to be with you if you are doing this? Why would I want to be with you to fix you of this? It only a trap. You want me to be with you so bad that you are willing to trap me in this. You may not even realized it. So sad. I can not fix you, only you can fix you.

I want to be with someone that enjoys life, enjoys others but most importantly enjoys themselves! It might be to late for us, who knows..... But I do know that if the you, you are showing me now, is the you, you want me to love, I DO NOT want any part of that.

Physical pain CAN NOT take away emotion pain. If it did, you'd be cured by now. So a change is needed. I care for you very much and want you to be happy so my advice to you is NO MORE HURTING YOURSELF. Then begin caring for yourself in a way that is loving and nurturing. Start with your beautiful smile. Smile for no reason when no one is around. Smile again making this smile for you. Then smile again, a smile as wonderful as you but do it for others. Smiles are natures medicine. Fill yourself up on them and give them away to others. Fall in love with yourself, beginning with a smile. When you are truly comfortable with you, loving and kind to yourself, you will glow with an attraction that will bring you together with your heart and souls desire.

I can't help but think,
for those of us whose vote went the other way....
if we truly want what's best for our country,
then we will smile and be happy if things go well.
On the other hand, if things go unfortunately wrong,
at least we can still smile and say....
I told you so.
A horrible win win.

Chemistry
Mixing you and I together
Melding molecules make us one
Bound forever across time