Here in these words

Perhaps I have shown:

I am but a soul

Longing to be known,

Yet this is no revelation

And I still find myself

Alone.

I will not

Strip you apart

As the childhood folly

Of a ‘she loves me,

Loves me not,’

Daisy.

I am ****** into

Waking;

Silently screaming,

Furiously shaking.

I am far too old

To remember night fear;

Yet wake terribly quaking,

And am left right here.

You have left me,
My love,
With naught but words of scorn,
As your every step
Draws you further from me.

How far will you go,
Before you realize
Your tears have been falling?
Before you feel
The ache of this abandonment?

But I know you,
And I know
You chase perfection as a shooting star.
It lives but a moment
And burns into your heart;
And you dream more than I can give.

Now we are separated
By towering mountain ranges
That shimmer bright
From a hundred seasons of snow.
But even then
The lilies there are never silent;
They whisper in the winter night.

I still see your prints
Not yet buried under new snow.
You have gone
So very far away.
Though my heart
Never ceases its call,
I cannot you through the storm
Anymore.

I am not

looking to

kiss a million girls once.



But to

kiss one girl

A million times.

Wine no longer makes heart glad

Bread does not satisfy

Here alone in darkened room

I sit and wonder why

The man I am and

The one I should have been

Often meet

At a broken mirror.

On down the road to Yeosu

Beside Pacific blue

We went with many merry songs

And sought something new

I feel autumn on the breeze
Summer has gotten away from me
The hospital now like a second home
And as such, I also leave it alone

I may beg

To cradle your tender *******,

But if your heart is withdrawn

And your hand is not mine,

Then this is naught

But lust

And such desire is strong

But lastly tastes of dust.

I cannot think of you

Without being burned

And I cannot touch you

Without being scarred





Yet to resign myself

To neither

Is to be forever marred

You can never
Lure me with lipstick

But a gentle gaze
Leads me astray

Sunlight in your smile

though the world roils in dark;

Starlight in your striking eyes,

Steady and ever stark;

Ask me not to name

the colour of your eyes,

For they are resplendent

(beyond sheer brown or blue)

and strike me with surprise.

I’m no longer
Allowed to dream
As the children did
Before the war
Cursed them with age and care

Firework nights and
Midsummer hammocks
Swaying in a sultry breeze
Have all been spent
On days doled out
To pilgrims who came
Before me

Swift now falls the hammer stroke
Too soon is spent the day;
Dreams burst forth, but wither soon,
That golden were,
But cannot not stay.

You are as the fog to me

From a distance I can see

But as I near

You disappear

Till then I look far behind

To see that you have passed me by

(I still hear (your)
Quavering voice,
As if you are yet unsure
Of all you may say..)

..But time flows on,
In only one way..

(And though wistful..
You might never again
Drift near me,
to simply stay..)

I could spend
Four hundred
Thousand
Kisses
On you,

And never touch
The same place twice.

I witness the sea and the shore

Their recurrent caress and sigh

I wonder if we too might make

Love as enviable as the tides

You were the one

I needed;

More than all the fanfare:

The lyrical beat,

Some empty engagement,

Some puffed up promise.

You were the one

I needed.

So I find myself

Famished,

Come the end.

I.
As the bow
On violin
Invite my lips
Upon your skin
And our music play
Therein

II.
Kisses sprinkled
Over her
Hourglass form
Would be
An hour
Well spent

III.
Her teeth naively bite my ear
And I tingle as I hear
‘You belong to me, my dear’

IX.
She strips me bare
With but a glance
Her tongue on her lips
Begins to dance
She pins me down
And takes her chance

Honestly

I saw your smile tonight
That real
Bright
Stunning
Smile

So much more
Than those counterfeits you
Spent on me

How often you torment me
How appropriate
Since that day you determined
You now must hate me

Perhaps love is,

at least for us mortal folk,

little more (or less)

than a frail seed

In great need

of good tilled soil and

water and sun

and laughter and fun

and wisdom to know

how desperately

broken we all are.



And maybe

perhaps

given due time and care

Love can bloom

become a real thing

become a summer garden thriving

because love

real Love

is far more than passion and desire

More than a meager

give and take

push and pull

'you scratch my back
I scratch yours';



Perhaps love is

something breathed in

with that breath of divine

that first brought us

up out of dust;



Perhaps Love

is so much more than our emotions

much more vast

than all our oceans

Perhaps love is less about

Caste and height;

Perhaps real love

is an unprecedented delight,

A chance to live right.

In a dream I sought you

Begging a second chance

Within that dream

You gave me not a second glance




'Perfection failed our first time round,

What do you want from me?'

I never sought from you perfection;

Yet from desire, I'm never free.

Often,
I wake in the middle,
And at all other hours,
Of the night.

Sometimes,
I hear the joints
Of this old building,
Creaking.

I have to remind myself
It's older than I am;
Likely has more complaints,
But fewer demons.

i am desperately trying
to gather up every word
carved upon my heart
that only my spirit has heard

i am longing to share
this story flooding in me
but how i fear them all
who won't know what i see

There is a terrible wonder
a childlike mystery
wrapped in the word
'Innocence'

for none of us have;

though once,

we did.

and how haunting the notion
as though even lost Eden
still lingered somewhere
on the edges of our
bitter broken hearts



Perhaps
mine was stolen
about the age of ten

or worse
perhaps I sold it
for bittersweet pleasures,
the foretaste of
everlasting ash.

to never again
know the joy of kindly eyes,
or the incomparable inhalation
of that first breath
when the rumors of the sea
become real
to both sight and lung.



Stolen,
or lost,
or sold,

or very simply removed

through the cruel currents
of terrible time.



Yet:

redeemed;
recovered;
repurchased;

if only I have
the audacity
to put myself aside

and yet come

to the crux
of humanity
and history



with the shameful
significant cry

'forgive me'

Mourn with those who mourn.

How plain.

How right.

For my tears are not meant

To be hoarded and spent

Only on my own heavy sorrow.

And I am not to borrow

The troubles of tomorrow,

For today's are dreadful enough.

I have
Only just recovered

Waking
To the splash
Of cold water

A shivering gasp
Some hours
Before dawn



My heart
Is wary;

Weary;

Worried;

What comes now?

After this
Long forsaken
Childlike awe?

Ah!

Grant me

Cold rain upon my neck,

And petrichor

Within my deep breaths.

I found myself

At World’s threshold

Screaming out obscenity,

While

God quietly pushed passed me:

‘Pardon lad,
But these folk have need
Of food and rest
And more of less
Of all your proud
Opinion.’

So fools fall silent

At his word

i am desperately trying
to gather up every word
carved upon my heart
that only my spirit has heard

i am longing to share
this story flooding in me
but how i fear them all
who won't know what i see

I remember laying out
Two stories up
On the roof of your house
In early summer
When the stars burst sudden
And the evenings are yet cool

I remember the stars
Dancing in your eyes
As you saw so much more than me
And you smiled at my wonder
Blowing a kiss to the constellations
Before we hurried back indoors
Shivering

What
Is eternity
But the
Disruption
Of all
I’ve worked
So long for,
In vain
?

We ask

'am i?'

He says

'I Am'

The battle lines are drawn,

I know which side I’m on;

But I wonder to see

When my opponent is me.

A lonely innocence

just beyond

a veil of gold;

wistfully waiting

for frolic and jest,

of steady hand,

lover's lips,

daybreak's promise.

Many men catch beauty

with merely an eye.

Few men cherish beauty;

Fewer still wonder why.

I remember that night

Your kisses had bite;

Your hand strayed upon my thigh.

You poured over me

All your ecstasy;

I could only accept and sigh.

Time mantles us
in weariness;

years anchored
to our feet.

our souls may ever
soar and dive;

our bodies shall
to dust retreat.

I heard you talk and wonder,
Laugh with a lilt,
Even curse in fearful anger.
But,
It was with a whisper,
Soft and subtle,
Sharp enough to split my chest,
You stole my heart away.

My heart now heavy as stone

and it seems to me

come judgment day

I shall crawl all that way

with it shackled to my ankle

and yet ever be alone