I can only be myself when I’m alone
Why does no other human want to see the real me?

Would my friend genuinely care if I actually had one?

My mistake is thinking that everyone has a  heart as caring as mine

My heart aches all day long for a response from you that never comes

I’m anticipating the night
My nerves are on edge
Will I be even more surprised?

Reveal more to me

We’re two different people
What did you want with me in the first place?

Not everyone’s life is amazing
I live in the bleakness

I feel like I could sit and stare at nothing
Forever

I hesitate because I know I would succeed if I attempted it
I’m still here
Waiting.
For what?

It’s a new day
I’m nervous
How do you feel?
Did it seem like a dream to you too?

I’m just the scariest looking dog on the planet
No one will pet me

There’s no closeness
Even after our bodies have shared the ultimate closeness
Why are you so far away?
Even when you’re right next to me

I want too much from people that aren’t willing to give anything

All of my pain is just a secret I keep to myself

Inferno
There is a fire ablaze within
Do I extinguish it?

Some nights I’m scared to sleep
he still haunts me

Your words take me to a whole other dimension

I want it to be real
No more words on a screen
Skin to skin contact

I think about you all day long
It only makes your rejection worse

I’m so desperate it’s disgusting

Congratulations!
You made me feel worse than I did before
Your mind games are impossible to navigate successfully

My suffering is suffocating

My thoughts are an inconvenience
I am inconvenient

The details are far too sad and pathetic to exist anywhere but my feeble mind

It’s so hard seeing you four days in a row
Pretending like nothing is happening
Pretending I don’t know what you taste like
Pretending I haven’t felt your weight on me
Pretending you never held my hand
Pretending the looks you give me don’t hold any special meaning
I want to see you on the other three days
Just once
Take pity on me
Just once
I need you to want to see me

It’s not fun to me unless I’m getting emotionally damaged

I’m anxious
I’m nervous
I’m anticipating
You

Stressed and extra depressed

I think about you
Every minute
Of every hour
Of every day
I doubt I ever cross your mind at all

I have nothing to do and no one to do it with

I’m greedy
I want the entire moment
Not just the exquisitely delicious before moment where I fall

Are you going to be able to squeeze me in today or will you leave me high and dry like last time?

I don’t know why I keep trying with you

Every notification I get that isn’t you is a twist of the knife deeper into whatever is left of my heart

I think about all the things I could’ve said that would’ve been better

I’m on edge
I don’t know how much or which feelings to invest if any at all
You could change your mind
You’re impossible to read

Whenever I’m alone
I imagine being alone with you

I’m so terrified of the answer, I’ve put off asking the question

I do nothing to numb the pain
I will need an outlet soon

Your life
Where do I fit in?
I don’t
Useless hope keeps me going

What’s the point in crying over something that never existed

You say the most by saying nothing at all

I see myself alone
An uninhabited island

My fear of rejection and abandonment keep me isolated

We don’t have conversations
I just try to keep you entertained
You always lose interest though

Why did you have to bother me if you were never going to bother with me?