I had so much resolve to completely avoid you today
The instant you said something to me it instantly disintegrated

Not everyone’s life is amazing
I live in the bleakness

No one is ever going to care as much as I do,
And I hate myself for that

You changed entirely from last Thursday
And I don’t know why
Maybe it’s for the best
A kiss from me is a harbinger of death

All of my pain is just a secret I keep to myself

You chose me
And you keep choosing me
It makes me feel special
I don’t want you to get bored

Would my friend genuinely care if I actually had one?

I want too much from people that aren’t willing to give anything

I feel like I could sit and stare at nothing
Forever

Dried tears on my face
Again

I’m just the scariest looking dog on the planet
No one will pet me

Inferno
There is a fire ablaze within
Do I extinguish it?

The details are far too sad and pathetic to exist anywhere but my feeble mind

If I stop for a second to think about what you said, my brain instantly goes manic

Reveal more to me

It’s a new day
I’m nervous
How do you feel?
Did it seem like a dream to you too?

Some nights I’m scared to sleep
he still haunts me

I want it to be real
No more words on a screen
Skin to skin contact

I fix the outside
There’s no hope left for the inside

It’s so hard seeing you four days in a row
Pretending like nothing is happening
Pretending I don’t know what you taste like
Pretending I haven’t felt your weight on me
Pretending you never held my hand
Pretending the looks you give me don’t hold any special meaning
I want to see you on the other three days
Just once
Take pity on me
Just once
I need you to want to see me

I have nothing to do and no one to do it with

Your words take me to a whole other dimension

It’s not fun to me unless I’m getting emotionally damaged

I’m so desperate it’s disgusting

I do nothing to numb the pain
I will need an outlet soon

My suffering is suffocating

I think about you
Every minute
Of every hour
Of every day
I doubt I ever cross your mind at all

My thoughts are an inconvenience
I am inconvenient

Whenever I’m alone
I imagine being alone with you

Every notification I get that isn’t you is a twist of the knife deeper into whatever is left of my heart

Congratulations!
You made me feel worse than I did before
Your mind games are impossible to navigate successfully

Stressed and extra depressed

I don’t know why I keep trying with you

I’m so terrified of the answer, I’ve put off asking the question

Your life
Where do I fit in?
I don’t
Useless hope keeps me going

I’m anxious
I’m nervous
I’m anticipating
You

I think about all the things I could’ve said that would’ve been better

I think about you all day long
It only makes your rejection worse

I’m greedy
I want the entire moment
Not just the exquisitely delicious before moment where I fall

My fear of rejection and abandonment keep me isolated

I’m on edge
I don’t know how much or which feelings to invest if any at all
You could change your mind
You’re impossible to read

Are you going to be able to squeeze me in today or will you leave me high and dry like last time?

You say the most by saying nothing at all

What’s the point in crying over something that never existed

I see myself alone
An uninhabited island

Why did you have to bother me if you were never going to bother with me?

We don’t have conversations
I just try to keep you entertained
You always lose interest though