do hands deserve fingers
if they do not hold
do ears deserve sound
if they do not listen
do eyes deserve sight
if they do not see

do you deserve love
if you broke me

can you hear my words
when I say nothing at all?
can you see my pain
when I smile without my eyes?
can you smell my desperation
when I'm trying hard to be calm?
can you taste the salt from my tears
when I don't shed them in your presence?
can you feel the real me
when I don't even feel it?

Someone once said
when you're happy
you enjoy the music
when you're sad
you understand the lyrics
and that just
makes
sense
because when you're happy you don't worry about anything
but the sweet melody breezing into your ears
and when you're sad
you focus on the deeper things
the real meanings
the connection you missed before
the words

I don't burst into tears
I fall into tears
silently
gracefully
like a practiced maneuver
like a missing piece falling back into place
I fall into tears
like they can somehow protect me

when my heart is done aching
the pain moves to my head
the feelings swarm to my mind
because simmering in my heart
does them no good
at least when they make my head ache
they are allowed to boil over
and be released all at once
captured in headache tears
that once were heartache feelings

I used to bruise easily
both on the inside
and outside
words used to grab
me like a vise
and leave bruises under the skin
mottling my confidence
with their ugly black hue
fists used to bruise
my eyes, my legs, my arms
on the outside of my skin
leaving marks for all to see
but over the years I built up tolerance
nothing bruises me anymore
nothing can cut me anymore
nothing can hurt me when I don't care
anymore

If I were to leave tomorrow,
would you ever remember me?
would you visit my grave -
Is that how you'd remember me?
Or would you turn me
into a poem of yours,
and keep me alive through you?

After breaking everything,
all one can do
is rebuild-
brick by brick.

we sat-
not in silence
but in words
and tears
"I have to leave.
She's making me crazy."

You had better not leave me.












"I won't."

i give up.
i give up.
im done,
i tried,
i did what i could,
i hate this,
i give up.
who cares?
i give up.