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Nov 2021 · 120
As If I Could Change
Joseph Rice Nov 2021
Ahh, there it is.
That old but bold,
Rolled and hold-up
Haven of mold and decay.
Like I never left it,
Festered and prolific
The round hole for my square peg of happiness.

I’ve spent my whole life alone,
Trying to atone for whatever flaws shown
Knowing it’s for nothing.
I had a sniff once, the barest taste of other.
And now it haunts like a Dancer flaunts
Exquisite and impossible to ignore.
Oct 2021 · 108
Flames Again
Joseph Rice Oct 2021
I am the embers after the conflagration
Smoldering silently after a pyric youth.
Coals flaring in the winds of change
Smoke like phantom of a bright past.

But the heat is still there, resilient
Eager to leap to new fuel.
Bring me your unspent passion
And let us burn brightly together.
Oct 2021 · 77
Moon's Revelation
Joseph Rice Oct 2021
Neon outlined clouds in the night sky
Lit from behind by the hidden moon.

Surreal sight seeing such during dark’s reign
As in all things, contrast reveals beauty.

Reflection reveals the symbol as connected
To the viewer’s depth of reality.
We all have and are more than our skin.
Joseph Rice Oct 2021
But have you really put yourself out there?

You should just try harder.

You'll find someone eventually.
I don't think this is poetry. What do you think?
Aug 2021 · 97
Going Blind
Joseph Rice Aug 2021
The sky cracks stack until
There’s a legitimate Blindspot
Silver lined with that eye spot
Censor I can place just on
Your stupid ******* face.
Just the start of an idea. Might never finish it but I thought it was good.
Jun 2021 · 136
What it all is
Joseph Rice Jun 2021
Blinking at my screen
Not so fast as it.
Thought arrived, of explosions
Not so fast as it.
And life’s lived therein
Not so fast as it.
This unfolding infinity
Not so fast as it.
Expanding explosion of everything.
Not so fast as it
Could be the beat of a heart,
Not so fast as it.
But that big bang is,
Not so fast as it,
Slowed by our interior perspective.
Not so fast as it.
The shock to chaos for reorder
Not so fast as it.
Like moving or supernovae
Not so fast as it.
But thoughts flee,
Not so fast as it
Changes perspective.
Jun 2021 · 93
Track lost
Joseph Rice Jun 2021
I remember so little now,
In my advanced age of 35,
And all my life I’ve lived like
It was going to last forever.
But memories fade, and lacking
Evidence, photographic kind, of me
Being alive, what’s to say any of it
Ever happened?

"You should live in the moment"
And you can’t take material things
When you die.
But nothing survives death anyway,
That’s the point.
An end to make all the forgotten moments
Meaningful.
Jun 2021 · 59
Drunken Introspection
Joseph Rice Jun 2021
I’ve got it in my head,
that haunted word shed.

To eat that strength
And grow social buffer length.

But instead I medicate,
Hide amongst what I create.

But what’s the point of camouflage
When trauma’s lacking triage.

I’m probably just being dramatic
And should keep these thoughts in my ego attic.
May 2021 · 66
Don't Worry
Joseph Rice May 2021
“Be happy!” They zealously scream
From spittle flecked mouths
Like it’s so bad to be unhappy.
Happiness, contentedness
Stagnation.

Tell me why I should seek what’s above happiness
Transcend comfort or reject contentment’s gravity
Resign to your fate of obscure averageness?

I miss the woman I lost
I regret the opportunities missed
I lament my poor decisions
So I won’t do it again.
Just be happy. And I didn't even touch the analog of bliss.
May 2021 · 145
Daily Ground
Joseph Rice May 2021
Like the sun’s drop into the reflected
Ocean horizon
I submerge into the filth
Of corporate greed
I maintain separation, but from your beach
Appearances can be decieving.

From height, the bottom is abyss
But I have seen into it
And I have become it
And my hands no longer appear before me.

As if there was ever any purpose, anyway.
Purpose and effort, money and survival. Why even try?
May 2021 · 280
Like A Splinter
Joseph Rice May 2021
There’s a word stuck in my hand
Like a song in the brain
Or bathing suit sand.

So I write out all I can think
All that feel close anyway
But every attempt just makes it sink.

So don’t mind me if I sound craz-ee
Because I’m not okay, and that’s normal
Or at least it seems to be for me.
It starts with J and is a name.
May 2021 · 73
Meta
Joseph Rice May 2021
It’s hilarious how profound
We think we are, astounding
The masses with our slick
Rhyme and meter shtick.
May 2021 · 184
Presumptuous
Joseph Rice May 2021
The small space
People place

Like little things
Easy understanding

But you are more.
Joseph Rice May 2021
I did not conquer you,
If that’s even possible,
I just moved through
Your defense with nibbles
And whispered words like morning dew.

You took me seriously
But laughed at the right times
And I fell from winter easily
To your summer of sweet wine
And love’s epiphany.

Your scent drew me in
Forgive me this clichè
Which I could not keep within
For I am still waiting for the day
We meet and commit sin.
I struggle onward, still.
Joseph Rice Apr 2021
Should your heart be sliced
And veins fill with ice.
Fall not before the myth of vice
Lest your hopes be destroyed twice.

For drugs, lust, and sloth
Merely leave you empty.
It is only like the froth
Atop the waves of emotion let free.
Apr 2021 · 71
Restlessness
Joseph Rice Apr 2021
Lightning and ants
In limbs and in mind.
Like fire up the spine
Or aforementioned bugs in pants.
I’ve got no chill
No glass left fill.
It’s like this need to dance
Electric shock
A tick with no tock.
But reality won’t grant
The end to need
Or greed
The root to plant.
Maybe anxiety.
Apr 2021 · 151
Abstracting Ritual
Joseph Rice Apr 2021
If I could somehow say
What I’ve been made
I’d force the day
That taught my brain
To fear the gray.

You, the royal you
Of that soft goo,
A small review,
Of will renew
With darkness true.

I see strong signs
Of empty mines
Or growing grime
And forced resign
I’m brined in whine.
Meaning flees from emptiness or illumating intent.
Apr 2021 · 166
Current State
Joseph Rice Apr 2021
The fact that I haven’t up and left
This life with violence
Is a miracle in itself, with
All the loneliness and
Pressure to succeed, that, need to be
Free, but missing connection
And longing for love while feeling
So shunned by society.
I foolishly look back on old flames
As if their game’s not been played
As if my fat, disgusting form would
Be acceptable, much less
Desirable. Even my mother
Doesn’t think I could be loved.
Mar 2021 · 83
Hope's Recession
Joseph Rice Mar 2021
Everyone looks forward to being able
To take vacation and travel again, and
I do too, until I remember what it’s
Like to travel alone, and the hope recedes.
Mar 2021 · 67
Compress
Joseph Rice Mar 2021
A million suns surround
And encase.
Impossibly bright and
Such pressure…
It forces me inward.
To that core.
To that part of myself
That won’t break.
But bends and compresses.
Like rubber,
Or the bottom of a
Shoe that treads
Across broken glass and trash.
The wreckage
Of a life lived careless.
Mar 2021 · 67
Rational Alien
Joseph Rice Mar 2021
They seem happy enough
Though I can’t understand them.
The things they enjoy and value
So Alien.

I like to pretend that I’m
A stranger in a strange place.
It makes rationalizing easier.

An easy excuse
To be alone and
Disconnected.
Mar 2021 · 401
Existential Crisis
Joseph Rice Mar 2021
It’s that sunset at sunrise
Brain flickering to life
To live…
To live alone and longing
Longing to share that sunrise
With someone who wants to share it with me.

Because what’s the point of life
Of living…
If the best you can do is cower in
Self-serving hedonism.
And to think, I used to scoff at the idea. Now look at me, all dressed up and worried that I don't matter to anyone.
Feb 2021 · 82
Is it regret?
Joseph Rice Feb 2021
When the day is done
Truth wrung from every effort
Every retort replayed and analyzed
Quiet materialized by soft breathing and dim lights
All the little spites and manipulations suffuse my thoughts
From thirsty thots to insulting, smug *******
Viewed like disaster through rosy retrospect
Memories reflected by perfect hindsight
Petty it might be, but
I still glut on the shame.
I can't help but remember those shameful past experiences before sleep takes me. Am I alone in this flaw? To remember situations where words were not said or interpreted incorrectly. It haunts me.
Feb 2021 · 165
Worse Than Alone
Joseph Rice Feb 2021
I don’t know which is worse
Feeling cursed by winter’s cold isolation
Or future’s immolation by past’s failure.
Like some sailor in lonely seas
Knowing that perfect she, just doesn’t exist for me.
I think some of us are born to be alone.

Note the seeming missed connections in the rhyme.
Feb 2021 · 74
What The Frigid Ridge Did
Joseph Rice Feb 2021
We always equate success
With mountain tops
As if ascending the rocky spires
Is where you want to go.

It’s probably a bible thing
Moses and commandments
Seems silly, saying **** like that
Like God is on a ******* mountain.

And what do you get from success?
Money, comfort, happiness, love?
No, you get what you’ve always had
As any mountaineer can tell you

Nothing but views and cold at the top.
Feb 2021 · 149
Just One More Cup
Joseph Rice Feb 2021
Chewed through lip
Copper taste and other shoe’s drop waits
Nervous habits of caffeine neuroticism.
Feb 2021 · 156
Missed Opportunity
Joseph Rice Feb 2021
Seems to me
People fail see
What’s important,
Really,
Until what they truly
Want is out of reach.

Depicted perfectly
By this lonely
Soul, failing
Ultimately,
At finding intimacy.
**** end rhyme by a **** poet trapped by his own lonely regrets.
Feb 2021 · 71
Just excuses
Joseph Rice Feb 2021
Creativity contrasting corrosion
Of will
Or motivation
Add another apathetic
Night to
The blur.

Inspiration insufficient inside
That well
Or pit,
Staying stagnant, sniping
At flaws
And weaknesses.
Feb 2021 · 189
Purpose
Joseph Rice Feb 2021
As I slowly slide down steep sided peak
The idea occurs
“Is purpose portrayed in progress?”
The mutable perspective of time’s fickle trickle
What experiences we lounge in
Slow boredom
Slippery distraction
That glacial crawl past pain
The ever fleeting ******
Senses suppose suffering’s supreme,
It seems.
Feb 2021 · 365
Tongue Color
Joseph Rice Feb 2021
Sour mouth truth teller
Spits on the graves of
Vanquished foes
Vanquished friends
Stares daggers at
Jealous lovers
Anguished loveless.

The taste of words and grapes.
Feb 2021 · 62
It's Darkness
Joseph Rice Feb 2021
That pinprick of light
Must reside somewhere
Shining dimly through me
But I am necessary
For that miniscule hope to exist
And all the hands holding hard
To its goodness
Beset on all sides by my omnipresence
But the contrast is needed
And which is better, the good?
Or the reason the good exists?
Nothing is ever one way.
Feb 2021 · 85
Such Hope
Joseph Rice Feb 2021
Like droplets of blood
Slowly suffusing pools of tears
Darkness stains my ephemeral future
Swirling in inescapable fractal mazes
Until all paths point to pain

Flowery words cannot obscure
A history of failure
And futile struggling
Against constricting chains
Only further tears fragile flesh

We act strong because we are weak
Bold for fear of being meek
And when we finally sleep
Our legacy is earth’s rotten reek.
Feb 2021 · 74
Failing To Move On
Joseph Rice Feb 2021
You need to give it up
Pretending you love her
Because of **** words
Spoken through clenched toothed smiles
So what, she touched your ****
Not like she was the only one
And of course there will be others
With beautiful eyes and
Fascinating mind
You’re better than the painful memory
Certainly there are more chances
For happiness.
Jan 2021 · 177
Exituphilia
Joseph Rice Jan 2021
Inky darkness envelops
Soul, fake as it is.
And like the great
Dying of winter’s will
I freeze within that
Omnipotent abyss

I seek destruction
For humanity’s farcical suffering
Let the end flow from
These fingertips dipped in pain.
Like leaves falling from branches.
Just end it already.
Jan 2021 · 68
Acting
Joseph Rice Jan 2021
They always seem so…
shattered
In the movies
When they are betrayed
And it highlights my
Deficiency
With connection
I know I should  feel
Something
But I don’t
I’m clearly just so…
Broken
Or wholely incomplete.
We all wear masks.
Jan 2021 · 69
The Trough
Joseph Rice Jan 2021
Full to the ******* brim
With wearying wretchedness
Lips sneer.

Empty and entropic
Missing mutual memories
Lump throat.

Lost in this listless state
Pretending perfecting purpose
Eyes down.
Jan 2021 · 60
Old Throats
Joseph Rice Jan 2021
The throat choked by quotes from old poets
Grows dry and hoarse
Old words do that
Dusty and crusty
Musty and rusty

Soothe your throat with that
New style rap
And let your mind
Flap free from the
Constraints of tradition.
Jan 2021 · 380
Just A Night Owl
Joseph Rice Jan 2021
To close eyes
And let dreams reign
Fall into the future
Makes the next day
The next disappointment
The next pile of stress
Arrive.
Sonder
Jan 2021 · 69
Describing The Emotion
Joseph Rice Jan 2021
It’s like this hole
Inside
Nothing physical
No wound or injury
Just this emptiness
Absence
It hurts worse than anything
And I’ve been injured
Broken bones and joints
Cuts, stabs, burns, shocks and all the like
But that wasn’t true pain
Just my brain relating events
Real pain is knowing a truth
Shown by countless smiles
Whispers and glances
You are alone.
You have been rejected
Not just once
But every single time.
That part of you meant to connect
Absent a connection.
I guess the fortunate part is that I have such a keen view as to be able to paint an accurate picture.
Jan 2021 · 58
Hail The Apocalypse
Joseph Rice Jan 2021
At this point I hope for world’s end,
Given up on mending will’s bend,
Taking solace in thoughts of souls' rent.

I have little left, looking forward.
And much less looking backward.
Resilience stretches thin, inward.

Time for it to all burn.
It’s this world’s turn,
To submit to life’s wheel's churn.
Inspired by the Avatar song of the same name. And a hard week.
Jan 2021 · 194
Progressing In Time
Joseph Rice Jan 2021
Rotations and revolutions
Counting convolutions
Of causality and expression.

Time
Nov 2020 · 46
To Climb
Joseph Rice Nov 2020
When had it all gone wrong?
That young man full of song
So innocent
Full of bliss
Now broken
Alone, unmissed.

Such growth while away
Hardened in the fray
Searching for truth
Lost in fog
Groping at cliffs
Fingers failing
Losing grip.

“Push through the pain!”
They say, seeing his strain
He welcomes the sound
Full of ignorance
Now remade
All scars and endurance.
We all face setbacks. And it's hard, I know it is. But you must be strong, when you feel weakest.
Nov 2020 · 42
Don't Tell Me What I Want
Joseph Rice Nov 2020
******* and *****
Triple slammed lips
Love and violence

Passion
But in my case
The desire
Is what matters.

Desire for blood
The need for moans under moonlight.

Give me a face to punch that isn’t my own
Give me a mind to **** that isn’t my own

Love
Violence
The things we men are bred for
Values and society and ****
Nature, right? I'm ******* empty.
Oct 2020 · 81
Hello
Joseph Rice Oct 2020
Muted colors and sounds
Senses acutely aware of their lacking
It’s that ringing shock of an explosion in your midst.

She burst into my sight
Tinkling laughter and warm smile

Stuck my tongue to the roof of my mouth
Lost control of vocal folds
Pitching wildly
Like a small boat in stormy seas.

Because…aren’t we?
Oct 2020 · 36
Gentle Life
Joseph Rice Oct 2020
Mind your tongue in the presence of
Blind fools in the throws of love

Fit your feet in shoes to walk through
**** that's deep in wake of the blue

Leave behind the woes and failures
Greave the loss of partner sailors

Bend the stem to feel the sun
Rend the fat from vic'tries won

Fear the broken, maniac, and numb
Clear detritus from teeth and gum

Dream of times when truth trumps lies
Scream your pain till the world abides

Never forget that you are real
Clever men don’t break love’s seal.
Not super good at structured poems. But I scratch itches.
Oct 2020 · 38
Gullible
Joseph Rice Oct 2020
I believe people
Too easily.
If I have no reason
To distrust them
I do not.
And how can I have
A reason to distrust
Someone who
I do not know.
I have not spoken with.
I have not understood.
Oct 2020 · 35
Downhill
Joseph Rice Oct 2020
Fickle time.
Causality is superficial
In the face of perception.

Fast when comfort reigns
Slow when suffering remains

But there’s no cause
For the emotion
No result
No result

And when loneliness suffuses
The perception of time
With no cause or result
Its superficial nature
Is revealed.
Oct 2020 · 27
Nature
Joseph Rice Oct 2020
Higher dimensional inertia
Pulls
Until the universe shatters.
Spitting our matter as so much
Dust
In the beams of light
Shining through windows of
Consciousness.

Shards pass through other spaces
Surprising apes with strange
Lights
And images of little green men
With big heads and no
*****.
Oct 2020 · 42
Values
Joseph Rice Oct 2020
The truth is
That gold and memories
Are just what you have.

And they both can bring
Joy
In their having
Gold in the trading
And memory in the making.

But they’re both just things
To possess
And both are very valuable.

I prefer that which
Consumes them both
Alcohol.
Oct 2020 · 50
Wants and Needs
Joseph Rice Oct 2020
Talk and talk
But that walk…
All hips and glide
Snide grin flips

Is there a season or
Warm hearts treason
Such a ****** cliché
As if your smile was for me.

I wish I could catch your eye
Or fly that moan and sigh
To the moon that I lost
…For that soul in frost…
I see the things that drew me to her in various women. But it's never her. How many years will I stagnate?
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