I thought i could save you
but i forgot i'm just as mortal
as you.

I am just fine... not.
I am the daughter who is fighting her depression.
I am the friend who is trying to show compassion.
I am the stranger who is sitting there with a horrendous expression.
I am the victim that raves with passion.

I am the child who was molested.
I am the person who can't confess it.
I am the human that craves death.
I am sitting on the devils bed.

So, yeah, you could say I am doing alright,
but in reality I'm not.
I am just a child, scared and true.

My enemies hate me for all I stand for, and all I'll someday be.
My acquaintances know my name and recognize it.
My casual friends may not know who I am, but still make life lighter.
My friends are the ones who comfort me when I fail but draw away when I succeed.
My best friends laugh with me about my failures, celebrate my successes, and tell me straight when I'm being a pain in the neck.
My family supports everything I do and are always there, even if I don't want them to be.
And all those in between make life interesting, whether good or bad.

None of that matters unless I say so.

My enemies make me stronger.
My acquaintances give me pride.
My casual friends make me smile.
My friends keep me social.
My best friends warm my heart (and strengthen my patience).
My family is my lifeblood and backbone.
And all those in between, make me who I am.

Thanks to everyone in my life, no matter what you think of me.

The past three birthdays I had, you celebrated with me. I woke on the day of my new year awaiting the "Happy Birthday" that came from you. And my 18th is rapidly approaching. The one I've been scared of all along. And you're not here to offer me comfort as you used to. And I feel betrayed.. And lost. And I wish you didn't have such a strong hold on my heart strings. Please, let me go.

Could you at least stay goodbye? I can't seem to shake the feeling you're still here. And it'll be easier if you just drain me of this poisonous hope that courses through my veins for you. I know you're not coming back. I know you've left me without so much as a farewell. I know you're oblivious to the way you've made my life Hell. But ******, you must know somewhere in that brain of yours that you hurt me. I don't even want some pathetic apology. I want you to pierce my heart with the words I need to hear. Tell me you don't love me and tell me you don't care. Tell me that and **** the part of me that still holds on to loving you. It's been months. I've known you for years. I think I at least deserve a goodbye.

"Talk is cheap, *******,
so, either take the initiative
or shut the **** up and step out of the way."

Or, as my Father always told me:
"**** or get off the ***."

Vis-a-vis:
"Everyone wants to ****,
but nobody wants to be ******."

Sort of like:
"Everyone wants a revolution,
but nobody wants to do the dishes."

But then again:
"We're all doing what we can."