.

It seems as though
I always want to talk to you
But our conversation comes at a cost
Because every word spoken
Puts me one word closer
To the last words I'll ever say to you.

With hope I could forever speak
With reason and love aimed at your heart
Taking your ears and making them listen
To what I need you to hear
Before you cannot hear anymore.

Carefully I select the sounds I speak
As not to choose the wrong ones
Picking silently in my head
The memories I would like to leave behind
In every moment I spend with you.

I know the last words I will say to you.
They are in my head now
Dancing on my lips
Teasing your ears
But I will not say them.
Not now.
Instead,
I will say them when it is time
For them to be true.

I do hope, however, that when that time comes
You will have already said them
To me.

She was left with a broken heart,
It didn't matter what she believed,
The temptation of suicide ripped her apart,
She felt as if it were a relief

The sadness in her eyes,
The guilt through her bones,
Gloomy gray skies
Where aqua once had shown

Her life was depressing,
Just like a flimsy blade,
It is easy to break,
But can still leave you in pain

All the pain that she endeavored,
All the insanity she would take,
Enough to leave her severed,
As if she would break

Where the blade had shined,
Now she was dull,
Where the stars once aligned,
Now very dismal

Why can't I say what I want to say ? Why can't I dance in the middle of the day while I'm walking your way across the halls to get to class why can't I sing and sing and shout why is it not allowed . Why do I have to follow a certain guideline in a conversation why can't I just say random things why does it bother you so much when I'm odd when I'm being whatever I feel like doing or saying .. it doesn't hurt anyone .. I'm not doing anything bad .. god! It's so sad the constrains we put on each other trying to fit in .. why do I have to live life already knowing everything u might do! Why why why ? And why are u scared to love and care too much , I mean I know the heartbreak can do that but still you can care as much as u want instead of wasting most of your caring on trying not to be over caring trying not to over do it cause that's not how others do it ! Again others others why do u care why do we care why do we stare , when someone does something out of the ordinary . Sometimes I get it but putting people down for being who they are that I will never understand.
So ask yourself why not??
why the hell not do what you want when u wanted there are no standards for anything
Don't over think

In a world full of chaos and corruption,
I stand here and look into your eyes;
And I see sadness, hatred and black.
I can't look anymore, so I embrace you.

You push me away like I have a disease
and then slap my face to punish me.
I can't understand why you are so cruel to me.
But I let you go, to please you, because I love you.

I ask you to teach me how to love you.
You tell me I will never be good enough for you.
You make me feel worthless and insecure,
but I stay because I want you to fix the way I am.

Years pass and I am still unworthy to you.
But then I realize that it is not me that is wrong....it is YOU.
You do not love me; you are the one using ME.
I need to get out before you do more damage to me.

You would not let me leave; I found out why.
I was the one holding you up; without me, you are NOTHING.
You kept me down so you could prosper.
How could you do this to me? How did I let you?

This is my lesson learned,
and I will not let you damage me anymore.
God has other plans for me, to be with someone better.
He will be everything a woman would want.
NOTHING like you.

But,

I thank YOU.....for the lesson learned.