just thought of a time
i could never forget
how innocent you were
when we first met

lack of human traits
were dismissed
in order to survive
i denied your existence

a future was planned
which i chose to ignore
until i realized
it wasn't just yours

just thought of a time
i'd like to forget
i once believed you were real
with no proof of concept

as of late
i have been maintaining sanity
organizing my addictions
compartmental-izingly
where you seem to fit
perfectly among my other
bad habits

i take you out
when i'm at my weakest
ridden with guilt and entitlement
i must admit
you are by far my worst habit

but to tell you the truth
you're getting a bit long in the tooth
so I'm gonna inhale a large bag
of gluten free quinoa brown rice
multi-grain tortilla chips
mix up a special batch
of sriracha and hummus
spicy avocado dip

scoffing at this world
rules and expectations
laws are for suckers
you never pay taxes

your a cash business
run by a ceo
with a libido
that never relaxes

listen to the voices
we pay for our choices
they beg to ask:
is your soul intact?

like random coordinates
punched into navigation
once a promising future
now an unknown destination

i have chronic fatigue
seems like forever
i can't waste my energy
on just any endeavor
but when we get to
intermingling
my extremities begin
a tingling
muscle memory
takes control
forgive the past
and free your soul
so let's get buzzed
help with my dilemma
bring your red suitcase
let's tingle forever

where i long to be
a comforting familiarity
once again behind the 8
do the shadows dissipate?
close my eyes blind
fingertips travelling
the contours of your body
despite my tiny mind
beyond tire
until my passport expires
this isn't where i should be
an illusion of clarity
do i smell fear?
get behind the 8
threshold moments
determine fate