What if you died instead
What if you cried instead
What if I was the one who lied
What if my wounds dried
What if you didn't have black eyes
I wish I hadn't said so many 'whys'
Now it's your turn to say the final 'goodbye'

I don't know
    What's the flow
            It seems to take me further

                   Sometimes the flow is slow
            And other times
                                                                    Fast


                     It takes me to many places
                      That I cannot describe
              Full of color
                                                                  Love

                         I wish the flow would never end
                                 But it does

you cry so often
and for what do you cry for
you haven't experienced hardship
you haven't experienced pain
just not like i have
so stop crying those crocodile tears
and stop faking the friends
stop pretending like you are someone you aren't
and maybe you won't cry no more

biana the *****
you broke my heart
even super glue wont help it this time
because now every day
every wish
11:11
is praying on your downfall
i know i shouldnt
but the buckets of tears i cried
say otherwise
if you felt this pain i felt
would you still look at me that same way?

The slurs flow like water
Whenever I try to get you help
They feel like fire
But you don't care
We're still friends
Again & Again
More words
More pain
But if I walk away will you still be ok?

liar
you said you loved me
liar
you said you would be there
liar
you said you would cheer me up
liar
you said you hated me
liar
you'll never leave me
liar
i'll teach you a lesson
liar
i hope you feel the pain i felt when the worlds collided and i was in between them

I couldnt wait more that like two weeks to write poetry again sooooooooooo
Here i am

(:

Hey guys! This is the last time that I will be on this website until at least February 2025. There is so much going on in my life, and i need to take a break from all my hobbies at the moment. I love you all!
<33

#PEACEOUT

words
          flow
                out
                     of my mouth
                                           like droplets
             falling
out                          
                   of
                                         the
          air


falling
f a l l i n g
                                   further
                apart

never
together
again

afghan traditions
not hard to find
their hospitality is like no other
the food, crisp and light
or fluffy and melting
you know it will be good

assalamu alaikum!
wa alaikum assalaam
you say
it is a greeting of sorts
a way to say hello!

islam
is their religion
belief in the oneness of god
beleif in all

afghanistan

rich of culture
vast and far
deep and wide
there is no end
to the beauty of you
dresses and food and colors here
stories and fires and dancing there
so much of it
it never ends
this beautiful place

afghanistan

four hijackers
four planes
four men
four craves for violence
to **** us all
all they wanted from us
was death
and violence

two twins
two twin towers
two twin brothers
two twin planes
horrible
horrible day

one man
one fight
one takeover
one crash
he was a hero
he saved them all
but he died
same as the rest

afghanistan

osama bin laden
it is the beginning
of the end
al-Qaida  
they killed
the men
the women
the children
and we watched
and let them be

they claimed victory
against the soviets
it was their first win
but sadly
it wasn't their last

so they fought
and fought
and killed
and islam ruled again
but in a different way

afghanistan

khan was killed!
we must rejoice
but the communists
fully took over
but then what?
they change to islam?

the islamic properties are key
they practice islam
islam is life

but there is still fighting
fighting over friendship
when will this war end?

afghanistan

they became soviet
just because of him
the bad men
the crazy men
they ruin it all

khan
cousin of the king
becomes the prime
and looks to the soviets
the communists
for help

but not all bad
he allowed the women
to do what they like
care how they look

afghanistan

he betrayed them
and declared himself king
king of the nation
king of them all
all they hoped
is to not fall

he tried to take
and make the country modern
but nobody agreed
he tried to limit the power
of the national council
but nobody agreed

and they took up arms
so they could fight back
but then he fled
a coward

afghanistan

the british
conquered
took it all
but then were beaten
and no rule at all

they became independent
as all people should
but they had fallen
behind the rest

and so the leader
of them all
declared his plan
for a reform
of the country
the beautiful country

afghanistan

drip
drip
the iv tube drips life into his veins
it's the only thing keeping him alive
'alive'
he's alseep
but he'll wake up, right?
i'm sure he'll be ok

drip
drip
the blood drips down the short blade
trying to take his own life
'life'
he'll get over it
he'll be ok, right?
i'm sure he'll be ok

drip
drip
the teachers vicious smile
kills him from the inside
he hates himself
and the teacher too
die
drip
drip

whispers of twilight
silent and cold
telling tales of days
of love once bold
each passing moment
an endless ache
a heart once whole
now left to break

in the shadowed corners of my heart
where echoes of laughter have long departed
there lies a sorrow
deep and vast
ocean of tears
memories of the past

i was five years-
mabye 8-
i dont know
but i lost him
and i
        lost
              myself
                         too
ah mon grandpere
tu es tres important
je
          deteste
                              toi

why did you leave
i needed you
dad needed you
but most of all
you needed you

whispers in the halls
whispers through the walls
they all hate me
and i hate them back

i wish sometimes
that i was them
making a sad boy feel sadder
and sadder
              and sadder
                             and sadder
                                                 until finally
                                                                  he died inside

so if i could say one thing
of most importance
you need to listen.
listen close, my dear
because
             you
                   want
                           to hear this.










*******.

so fat
so ugly
he'll never get a girlfriend
you're the size of europe!
i hate you
nobody is ever going to love you
nerd
obviously a 1/10
he buys mcdonalds every day!
god you're sickening
you're all so ******* sickening

why are you all so mean
what the **** did i do
and you get mad?
and tell?
and tattle?
when i spread a little truth about you?
well hey mello
just because you're a small little crying boy
dosent mean i am
so get the **** over it
"he said a mean word!!"
*******

well that was mean
but i dont feel bad
because god you're sickening
you're all so ******* sickening

shiny money
shiny brain
you get some
you lose some
its all just coins

money
is a funny thing
because when you have it
you love it
and then it's just a figment of your brain
its all just coins

but when you dont have it
you yearn for it
you want it
you need it
its all just coins

so i sit
with no money
i dont need any money- coins
but i cry
and cry
because i have no coins at all

she likes me too!!
she likes me too!
she likes me too
she likes me too...

oh them lazy ladies
walkin down the the lane
fill me up with *****
to just drink down the pain

there is knife
on the table
next to me
i'm home alone

988 wont help
neither will my parents
or my friends
or even my dog
they cant help

i'm crying
i need help
but i cant reach for my phone
or the knife
is this good?
or bad

to all my friends
who would never miss me
*******
but to you
my friend
i hope that you
can live a happy life
without me
without knives

so take this poem
as a gift
to keep going
to keep going strong
cause even if i am gone
you arent

the knife is in my hand
glancing at my wrist
i cant do it
but i have too
so goodbye
cruel world
i must go

but whats this?
a light?
i am still in fear
the knife trembling
blood- no
tears
dripping off the blade

and i collapse
and die inside
because nobody cares
but i cant force myself to leave
just like those toxic friends
relationships
people
thats just what life is

but you have to keep going
going and going and going
until you find a true purpose
because harming
or killing
yourself
just stops you from recognizing the problem
just avoiding it

so to anyone who wants-
who needs
to hurt, or **** themselves
just face the problem head on
even if you cant do it
even if you have tried before
it's still worth it

hit me with a brick
throw me at a wall
where does this come from
i don't know at all

pull out a chair
sit down my friend
pour a pint of whiskey
now drink up my friend!
drink all your sorrows away

how about a game?
just a couple dollars
pour a shot of *****
now drink up my friend!
drink all your sorrows away

home? why home?
stay here with us
we are your real friends
pour a glass of wine
now drink up my friend!
drink all your sorrows away

no more? how about one
just one more glass
just one more shot
just one more pint
just pour a flute of champagne
now drink up my friend!
drink all your sorrows away

dont drop the vial
just drop the vile

speak to me
like you speak to her
ill search for the perfect word
perfect response
and here!
it is...
but where did you go?
looking in the morning snow
you ran off
just like the others
ready or not
here i come
or maybe
a different word
to make you happy

take a spoon
take a knife
the guard can not be looking
lights go out
start to scrape
and out the hole you go

the alarms start to ring
lockdown
it sings
but into the boat you go
and out the prison you go

up the ladder you go
before it starts to snow
get up off your low
you will finally be beaux
trust me its not faux
i swear that you will glow
so up the ladder you go

back again
so soon
you ran away
you came back
did he not give you the gifts?
did he not give you the love?
but still
my arms are open
come inside
again

fly away
fly away with me
don't need the crazy men
i can just me be
with those wings
those butterfly wings

lights out
trees down
school out
our dependencies
we rely so much
it really is the truth

I thought you cared
About the gifts
I so lovingly crafted and bought
Only for them to be thrown out
Trashed

I thought you cared
About the compliments
As I gave you them
Never stopping the flow
No matter what you did

I thought you cared
About the weekends
We spent
Hand in hand
Before the morning sun

I thought you cared
About me
But it was all fake
All those days
All those words
All those gifts
Were they a joke to you?
I guess ill never know

!! DISCLAIMER !!
I am not trying to be sexist, homophobic, or racist through this poem. This poem might come off as offensive, or something else, but it is not intended to be this way. I am just sharing my feelings through poetry, and even I was scared to post my own true feelings through poetry. If this poem needs to be taken down, I will do so. If that happens, I will probably post my poetry elsewhere or keep it to myself. Thanks!
!! DISCLAIMER !!

This world we live in
Is confusing to say the least
Why have we changed so much?
Why don’t we stay the same?

Sometime last week
I was shouted at
By a girl
Saying I would never understand her pain
Saying that I
A straight white male
Was so fortunate
And I was offended
But in some ways
It is true

I understand
That my kin
Did unspeakable
Disgusting
Horrible
Things to you
And I know that some of them still happen today
But why is it my fault?
What did I do to you?

You say I have privilege
But what privilege do I have
When must I creep on every word I say?
Every action I take?
Every poem I write?

But before I go on
I want to give sorry
A sorry that my ancestors never could
Even if It doesn’t mean a lot
I still hope it helps

I feel like a circus
I have to entertain the crowd
One wrong move
And I get boos
Too showy off?
And I get boos
So I learn to keep up my guard
Never let my feelings out
Never let my true thoughts go

And to the girl last week
Who shouted at me
Just remember
If the world is against you
It is most definitely
Against me