Vesper

Dec 2024

ȧ ų ǥ ų ṣ ⱦ

smaller

i have to be

smaller

skipping

breakfast

lunch

dinner

eating

never

i weigh myself

constantly

can't

the hunger

a beast

i cannot

give in

i must be strong

but then why

the less

i eat

the weaker

i

feel?

if you couldn't tell, im not ok

#anorexia #eatingdisorder #ocd #broken #help

Vesper Dec 2024

Karate

So scared all my life

Anger turned into an art

Don't have to fly kick

To fly again

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Vesper Dec 2024

O' Brother

O' Brother
Let me save you from the darkness
Let me save you from the light
Let me save you from the pills
That make you feel alright

Just come along with me
Away from all the people
Away from all the feelings
Away from all the pain

O' Brother
Who caused you this pain
Who caused you this worship
How did all the bad things
Fall back on you

O' Brother
Don't succumb
Don't take the leap
Don't take the pills
Don't load the gun

Just come along with me
And all will be okay
Please believe me
And we'll be at peace

O' Brother
Your funeral was quiet
I wish I knew how bad it was
Why couldn't you tell me
Why didn't you tell me

O' Brother
I'll see you in a flash

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Vesper Dec 2024

Panic Attack

Nightfall waits to strike.
Waits to kick you when you're down.
It comes like a army, screams and yells and pain.
Thrashing.
Never stopping to breathe.

Panic Attack.

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

Dec 2024

Nobody

don't cry

don't cry
when i die.
crying over me
is just as useful
as crying over spilled milk.

Dec 2024

Nobody

one last dance

we are all wearing black
this is the day before i die
hold in your tears now,
please don't cry

i ask for one last dance
and you say 'yes'
so we hold hands and twirl around,
you look so pretty in your black dress

we dance for hours
until i run out of time
when i fall to the floor
look up, the stars are out; after all, it is nighttime

the stars mean nothing
when you aren't here.

Dec 2024

Nobody

i

the best i can do is try
the time is ticking by
i'm trying not to cry
this is making me want to die
i say i'm fine but i know it's a lie
i hold back a sigh
"i'm just trying to help"
"you're not an ally",
i reply
i don't sit so people don't see my thighs
i try to keep my mouth shut, but open you pry
we are low on supply
so i guess i better retry
more knots i will tie
alcohol, i apply
to my cuts, while tears fall from my eyes
you aren't someone who which i can rely;
please, don't ruin my disguise

that took forever.