Every breath comes with effort
Every step with pain
The ****** things you did
Flash over and over again
You never see your friends
And they have never seen you
Once ruddy with passion
Now you just feel blue
Ache
Cough
Splutter
Limp
Arched over like aged cast out toothless chimp
Can't connect to the world
To my dim eyes
It's just crazy
I said it once
And I'll say it again
I wish the lord would take me.

My brain has been torn apart
Crumpled together
And smeared across the billboards of my timeline
My heart shredded and trampled on
My body has seen torments and tortures
That parents fear and
Don’t understand the possibility.
I was told it was my fault.
Every action had its cause.
Every act of terror had its reason.
Me.

But it was never my fault.

I wasn’t the reason I hated this thigh,
Or this skin
Or these bones.
Or this brain
This way of thinking.

Nothing was ever wrong with me.

The moonlit sky hovers
a dark and empty street
A night submerged with wonder
and stillness

In a blissful voice, the night sang
about a faraway land,
where the pastures danced
and summer was everlasting

Lustrous knights roam the land
and the goblins lurks in the shadow
Like the darkness I lay on
As my bones relish in the calm
of this wonderful night