It went quiet
Not because it gave up
Bt because it was saving me.

It felt too much
So it chose silence
Over shuttering.

It held the storm
Behind closed doors
So I could keep breathing.

It's not numb
Just protecting
What's still healing

Not two decades yet,  
since the sun spat me into its glare,  
and already my head betrays me—  
six black locks, once fierce,  
gone,  
gone gray,  
gray as ash,  
gray as a lie,  
gray as the sigh  
of a self I can’t defy.

Shut up. I need you to shut up.

The lake is grinning. You can hear the lake
and its schemes, the umbra behind
all that mesmerizing blue.

Blue is color dead to itself. Blue is the cataract
called sky. Blue pretends while the infinite
animal runs naked running
its fingers round
the swell
of stars
that sweat
like oysters.
Ah.

You can’t drown in that blue. Now shush.
I hear the lake undress.

I feel death bearing down
The transience of my life
Aging, slowly aging
The pain that living brings

My sons play video games
Keep them moving forward
My darling, darling boys
Seattle surely sings

                      Viva!