~~~


what do i know
that hasn't been written
the past i throw
the future not given

each syllable speaks
through ancient valleys
through pica peaks
through rain soaked alleys

when i run, my friend
i feel too much
in the world at its end
I'll recall your word's touch

when i read
your thoughts impart
the spaces between you bleed

your ink into my heart



soulsurvivor
(c) 7/26/2015

Happiness exists between us
Like oxygen
I can’t see it
But it is there

Like an umbilicus
It connects us

Like a circle
It has no beginning
And no end

Happiness exists between us
Without you
I couldn’t be happy

Even the islands
Are surrounded by sea
And the earth joins the sky
And the sky encircles the moon

I could never be happy just on my own
So its you
That I send my happiness to

I couldn’t be happy without you
Nor could I be sad
In fact I couldn’t be human without you
No matter what you do
I will be glad

What is there to say
When love has died?
When it seems
That there is
Nothing left to say...

Two people
Drift slowly apart
Too eager to criticise each other
Dismissive of their beautiful talents
Silently resentful of their ageing bones

When love has died
Joint creations
Shared possessions
Memories
Tarnish and rot slowly
Disappearing into a tunnel
Of nothingness

Frustration simmers
When what you once thought was love
Turns out to be something else
Something time limited

When the person
You thought you loved
Turned into someone different

Just like you did

When love has died
All you can do is reinvent yourself
Re-examine everything

When love has died
Nobody is to blame

But somewhere in heaven
An angel
Takes its last breath

Your temper flares
Like an alligator
Flashing forth from the water’s edge
And I ask
Why do I endure?
Why do I carry on like this?

The sea roars
Incessantly
Like the sound of a gale
I am drawn to its power

Clouds have emptied
Ceaselessly today
And the earth
Which holds so many secrets
Lies sodden

My feet cool on the wet grass
And I wonder
What will the future hold
For the likes of me?

Is there a promised land
Or will it all be over
In a flash?

Sometimes my day disappears
And all I have done
Is struggle
To arrive at some place
Just to arrive

I could gaze up at the stars
And they would tell me more
Than your eyes do

Perhaps I should expect less from you
And more from the universe
In forty years time
I will know the answer

Don’t kid yourself
That you’ve created angels
When bullets are flying

Don’t kid yourself
That you’ve raised a guru
When poppy wars are raging

Don’t kid yourself
That refusing to work
Makes you a warrior

Don’t kid yourself
That living off others
Makes you an artist

Don’t kid yourself
That controlling others
Makes you a powerful person

Don’t kid yourself
That shouting abuse in public
Makes you an leader

Don’t kid yourself
That you are loved
By those you abuse

Don’t kid yourself
That you are in charge
And things will never change  

Don’t kid yourself
That you know best
When you don’t even know yourself

Don’t kid yourself
That you are better
Than those you so readily criticise

This world turns in circles
And the forces of causality
Turn in such a way too

There is part of me
That cannot figure things out
I know it is there
But I cannot get to know it
It is my node of confusion
My spinning top
Ever whirring
Beaten by external forces

A part of me
That is lost for ever
Numbed, isolated, defeated and shipwrecked
An injured butterfly
Frail, uncertain

I wish I could understand
My deep uncertainty
My sinking groaning silent place

When it takes hold
I miss my mother
I miss my hope
I miss my self

Expect
The unexpected

Life is a series of riddles
Only understood in retrospect

Plan, but do not expect
Your plan to be fulfilled
To the letter

Something greater
Will be achieved

If you continue
To the very end

One million
Grains of sand
In my palm

When will you
Become nothing?

A million stars
In the night sky

Are you become nothing?

One million thoughts
Pass through my head
Are but a few of you
Worth nothing?

What is nothing?
Silence?
Non-existence?
Death?
Waiting?

One trillion voices
Calling out
For peace and hope

Everything

Am I too old to change?
Is it too late to develop?
Have I gone as far as I can go?

I know I cannot run as fast as I used to
Although part of me thinks I can

I know I cannot lift as much as I used to
Although part of me thinks I can

If true human challenge
Means to stretch oneself
Beyond one’s own boundaries
Then my boundaries are becoming more visible to me

Fear of death
Fear of unknown things
Vanity
Loss of youth

I cling to these, my increasingly familiar demons
Whilst ironically complaining about stagnation

I have to challenge myself to challenge my life
And this I must do
Amongst people

Alone I am stuck with myself
And my anxieties

With others I can change
I can take on
The challenge