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  May 2018 Taylor
Hannah Marr
Just. Eat a bowl of cereal.
Sit on the kitchen floor carefully so the milk doesn't spill, scoop the flakes into your mouth by the streetlights filtering in through the window.

Or climb out onto the roof.
Slip out your window, hip braced on the edge, and use your arms to pull yourself up, crossing your legs on the shingles and breathing in the stardust swirling around your head.

Create a masterpiece.
Dip a brush in some paint, use your hands to shape clay, choreograph a dance, script a play, write a poem, draw a spring day.

Make a blanket fort.
Tuck the blankets over the couch, pad the floor with cushions, and flick on the TV, so you can watch cartoons while wrapped in warmth like when you were a child.

Stargaze in the backyard.
Tiptoe out the back door, quilt tugged tight around your shoulders, spread it out over the dewy grass and stretch out, facing the clouds and counting the stars.

Learn Morse Code.
-.-. --- -. ...- . .-. ... .     .-- .. - ....     -.-- --- ..- .-. ... . .-.. ..-.     .. -.     - .... .     -.. .- .-. -.- --..--     -.- . . .--. .. -. --.     -.-- --- ..- .-.     ... . -.-. .-. . - ...     -... . - .-- . . -.     -.-- --- ..-     .- -. -..     - .... .     ... .. .-.. ...- . .-.     -- --- --- -. .-.-.-

Have a shower.
Run the water hot so it'll burn when it hits your back, shed your clothes and step into the steam, breathing in the vapors and imagining that you stand in the heart of a geyser.

Go back to sleep...?
No, this elusive peace is distinctly one with the night, and it would be foolish indeed to throw away such a gift merely to function during the bland sunlight hours.

h.f.m.
Taylor May 2018
my fingers are red and raw
all skin ripped away

"stop doing that"
they all say
i could if i would
but it's a nervous tick
a sense of relief

"you're practically self harming right in front of me"
then don't look

"doesn't it hurt to wash your hands?"
yes
but i won't say that,
i'll say
"you get used to it"

my fingers are red and raw
all skin ripped away.
Taylor May 2018
i feel like i should just stop doing everything.
stop writing
drawing
singing
dancing
pretty much everything i do
just quit showchoir
stop writing stories and poems
throw away my sketch books
i feel like i just **** at everything..
Taylor May 2018
do you remember the first time we talked?
it was midnight and you texted me hello
do you remember the first time we hung out?
it was at a football game our freshman year
you asked me about my fingers
why they were so red and raw

do you remember the first time we kissed?
it was at a concert at the school
do you remember the first time you said 'i love you'?
it was when we were hugging goodbye at the bus stop
you whispered it in my ear

do you remember when we had that paper ball fight?
it was at your house on your birthday

do you remember how much i loved you?
it was more than was humanly possible
do you remember how much i still love you all this time later?
Taylor May 2018
Love is texting you
A long paragraph
At 3am, telling you how much
You mean to that person

And they’ll talk about Disney Pixar characters
Because they know
You want to grow up
And be like Carl and Ellie from Up

Love is when you
Just Keep Swimming
Through all the bad
And come out from the jellyfish wall within,
Smiling faces,
Hand in hand, or fin in fin,
Depending on whether you’re a fish or not

Love tastes like what a rainbow
Would taste like,
Colorful and sweet,
Just like a candy

It tastes like the chocolate cake
He had before
He pressed his soft lips to yours

It feels like having a
Soft,warm and fuzzy blanket
Wrapped around you,
Keeping you safe
From the monsters in your
Closet

And when he wraps his arms
Around you
You feel protected,
Like nothing can hurt you…
And it’s an amazing feeling

And when he kisses you…
God, when he kisses you,
You feel like time stops
And everything is perfect
And you never want that moment
To end...

Maybe love is temporary
Or maybe it’s long lasting
Maybe love is meant for you
Or maybe it’s not

There will be heartbreak
There will be tears
But baby, I’ll tell her,
There are plenty of fish in this big ocean,
But maybe some of those fish are
Big, or mean, or maybe even broken,
Maybe some are colorful, sweet, nice, kind,
But you’ll find another “fish,”
That makes you...
Happy  

And she would look at me
With those wide eyes of hers,
And I’d hug her
And tell her,  love is out there for you,
You may not find it right away
But it’s there
Somewhere in this world
Maybe on the other side of the ocean
Or maybe it’s right across the street

Love can stay for months
Love can stay for years

Just wait
There is someone out there
Praying they get to be the one you love

Love comes
And love goes

“ Learn to love yourself
Before you love someone else,”
But don’t you dare let someone tell you
That you care only about yourself
Because I know you
And I know you care about everyone
And everything
And once you love yourself
And you’re happy with yourself,
Then you can love someone
The way you love yourself

And I’ll be here through it all
With chocolate and a tissue box
For when love fails you
You can come to me
For I shall always love you
Even if you found someone
Who loves you more than I do

But you’re young
Only in high school
You’ll see love
When it walks through the door
You’ll know it
I knew it, or, well,
At least I thought I did

But you’ll know
You won’t make the same mistakes as me
Because I’ll tell you what I did wrong
And you’ll stay away from the people
Who are just bad for you

And if your guy
Makes you cry
Leave him
Don’t go back to him
No matter how much you want to
Because he will take
That tiny, fragile little heart of yours
And run it over with a bus
Multiple times

And if your guy
Breaks your heart
Yes,
You can cry,
But no,
You cannot
Go back to him
You cannot cry your eyes out in front of him
And no,
You cannot beg
To get him back
And lie and say you miss him
Because I know you
And I’ve heard you cry about him
To your friends at 2 in the morning
Because you thought he didn’t love you anymore,
You don’t miss him
You’re better off without him
And you may think otherwise
But it’s the truth

I know what you’re going through
Trust me,
I’ve been through the same thing
Thinking he doesn’t love you anymore
Cry for a little bit
Then realize that he actually does love you
And then he says that he’ll never leave you,
Don’t fall for it, because you’ll fall
And he’ll leave you on the ground...

Yeah, I’ll admit,
The feeling of love
Is amazing...
And sadly yes, heartbreak *****
But remember,
You’ve got your whole life
In front of you
And that boy…

That boy
Was only there
For a few months of it
  May 2018 Taylor
Unrequited Love
Now my clothes are stained with the memory's of the boys that took them off.

The ones that never bothered to learn my middle name.

And I never found out their favourite colour...
I can't get dressed without a flashback now days
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