Christmas lights and silence
Reflective mirrors on the rooftops and not articulating anything
Happiness in the dark and alone
Eyes watching me
Parents talking
Home alone again
Fractured dynamics and insecurities
I don’t know how to feel, sorry

How little we know of what there is to know
My head is filled with the aching hollowness of wanting
I know, I’ve always known that beauty doesn’t mean anything
Unless you can share it
Lying in your lap, like a thread in the golden light
The future is yours, and the present is mine,
And the present
Well, it's not all that it might be
The afternoon sun sets feebly, casting a nebulous glow
We bathe in ghostly shadows
And when the sun sinks, we open all the windows
Nothing on the hillside but a shiny bed of lights
Our hands touching, as we listen to music together
The fuzzy voices rattling the dust on the linoleum
We might just be okay together
Whispering I love you in nervous ambivalence
And telling each other about our *** dreams.

When I get old
I'll live in a grey house with a big field
And I'll buy my brother a ring
And show my girlfriend my favourite movie
At night, when we get tired
We'll close the curtains and wait in silence
Legs crossed, on the floor
For inspiration
Or sleep
or death.

Sitting in a spinning chair
In front of my laptop
Elbows perched atop a desk
I write underneath the bookcase
About writing underneath the bookcase
I am all too real, and I cannot escape anymore
Hello curtain, hello window
I am caught between walls with
Nothing to do say, nothing to do

I have spent the whole day alone
It *****.
I am tired of being alone, and I wish I wasn't left alone all day.
Hello bookcase.

While I am tending to my garden
I cast an embracing glance over at you
You tend to your affairs, I tend to mine
We both work in silence, side by side
The dirt digs into your fingernails
And you have specks of mud on your cheek.

I tend to this garden, I dig into the roots
I lose sight of you sometimes, the afternoon sun is hot
And the vague radiance casts mirages
The shadows are unreal, the heat is feeble and lazy.

Everything coalesces into one when you ask
If I have a minute to spare so we can
Talk about the weather
And last night's Seinfeld episode
I should probably get back to my garden, I have to dig out the weeds.

Well the lonesome undertaker sighs
His loathsome burden should suffice
Yet he still bows his head and cries
Well the chimney sweeper dusts his feet
And cartwheels into the street
While a Prince from his carriage leaps

There's nothing I should be missing
I should be on the beach reminiscing
Reading Proust and watching waves splitting
Well the hustlers ***** and the ****** hustle
Engines roar and the carts bustle
And the pointed shoes of my past jingles and tussels

And the city life I've left behind
Well I thought I wouldn't mind
But there's still something I need to find

I don't understand
everything that's happening to me
But i want you

We don't have to know anyone else, just us again
You sigh, look away
I can see it clear as day
I'm sorry, time breaks and sun rays are all I dream of
I'm sorry again, I didn't mean it

I stand there all alone
Diamonds in our hands
Do-do-do, do-do-do

Funny how it seems like yesterday
When I was looking out of place
Daydreaming of cigarettes
It's my wife, and it's my life
I'm still here, have you seen her?

So much is going on while I'm
Standing in the pouring rain
There are places I'll remember
And these memories lose their meaning
When I remember I'll lose affection

I'm cursed you see
I know I'll often stop and think about them
Standing in the pouring rain
If I can't trust you, there's no answer
And I won't be able to trust myself
And I'm sorry for romanticising you
I just want to be friends with you again
And make myself feel very small and unhappy

Because I'm older now
And everything feels a lot emptier
And I'm still churning out sad poems and then
Pretending I've grown since then
Standing in the pouring rain