On a dreary night
Sat upon a stool
Weeping in my thoughts
I felt like a fool.

On a weary day
While standing in fear
I stole the wrong hand.
My end is coming near

A scraped knee in summer
For the memories of last year

I don't practice self harm
I'm just an observer.
It has a certain charm
It just makes me wonder.

Your ****** Powers
Are nothing in the face of
My double ax slap

I'm gonna **** myself
But it's for attention
So it doesn't count
So just let this slide.

When you hear the bang
Don't enter the room.

I want you to call the police.
Tell them you heard a loud bang in my room.

Don't worry about the future
I left a box of stuff.

In the box, there's a list.
It's for Matt. Don't look.
Unless you hate surprises.

I left enough gifts on there to last you 20 years.
Matt will buy them
Or he'll feel like ****.

For Ky, I left my computer.
Hers is better, but she said she wanted mine
When we were 12.

For Hope, I leave my grandma's blanket.
It's torn and filthy, but that adds to its history.

I don't want you to enter at all.
At least for a year.

When the time's up
You'll find something special.

When it comes time to clean
Have Matt and Brian do it.

For Jared, I leave my old games
He says they're collectors.

For Liam, I leave Fire Emblem.
Maybe this will get him to play it.

Sorry that it was always me and you.
And not someone more interesting.

Jenna will console you
at least at first.
So you'll have someone else to talk to.

I was never good at conversation
So sorry for wasting time

But maybe now,
I'll be good for conversation.

I'm for freedom of speech,
Only when it's applied to me

I protect animals
Unless they're food

I want your time
But won't pay it back.

I won't give you some help
Now cut me some slack.

in a world with No new,
would there be a You?
could we have a True?
should We leave clues?
for those to Light the fuse,
we leave All to be imbued
with love, lies, And a noose.

I watch it's tantalizing sway
occupying my thoughts all day
Making me think of what's to gain
for it takes is just a bit of pain

Take away my insulting load
replace it with a hurtful goad
Decipher this cryptic code
ending this long and winding road

Put it on and mask my frown
come and watch me drown
Fake my joy like a clown
put on my fiber crown

The sweet sound of the crack
sends shivers down my back
Blame me for what you lack
stuff me in your waste sack

Set me down and get me weighed
find where I'll finally be laid
Forever lost within the shade
no longer in need of aid.

So you want your kick?
Well it'll make you sick
But if I get my pick
I'll make sure it's quick.

Looks will instill the charm
I'll set off the alarm
Make it trickle down your arm.
You'll shiver in self-harm.

Your time with us will be short
But your sense will distort
You'll be used for our sport
Enjoying time in our resort.

But you'll never be free
We can't let you see
How you can feel such glee
When we'll never grant your plea.

I look up and see a ****** of crows.
"******* I'm dead again"
It makes me wanna fake my own death.
But I'm stuck breaking the chain.
For if I don't, there will be blood.
13 voices keep screaming in my ears.
Telling me to start war and tear it down.
So I just ask "God save us all."
But even he can't stop the fall and the rise.
For we've been twisted by design.

What makes me so obsessive?
And so possessive
I don't mean to
Just want to know where you'll go
And what you'll do.

A lonely day
One after love
One by itself

Not celebrated
Nor is it hated
Just average.

I was writing a really good poem but then the tab got changed to another and I lost all my progress :/

Each day, when you wake
Do you loosen your chains?
Do you run to the meadows
And Dance in the rain?
Or do you stay trapped,
in a cage, in restraints
One with the phone you're a slave to each day

Mass production
just turn the crank

Mass destruction
hide in the tank

You're trying to tell me I don't deserve it?
That I haven't earned it?
Do you think these scars on my back are fake?
Or this blood I've spilt isn't real?

What kind of person would do that to me?
Who am I talking to again?
Oh I'm sorry.
It's just me.

Steal these thoughts from me
Flaunt them for all to see
Thievery brought to a new degree
Destruction flung intentionally carefree

Pain for others to feel
Feign your part in the deal
Gain from what's not real
Chain em' and make em' kneel.

Smile a grin too wide for life
Insert too deep, the starving knife
The crowds wear masks of gleeful pain
Adorn your crown to embark your reign.

Leaving questions for my kind
Weaving together all his finds
Heaving the smiles of broken minds
Cleaving away the frail binds

Turn on this happiness machine
Dine on our delightful cuisine
Make me feel like Athene
Beyond what my smile'll see

I am a Hero
I am a Noble
I am a Knight
I am a God
I am a Liar
My name
Is Ferdinand Von Aegir.

Trifecta
The three of us
Or was it four?
I can't recall why
Or when.
But that's the past,
And this is now.
So where do we go?

I have yet to experience one
To make something truly great.

Personal experience
Is irrelevant
If it ends in joy.

A song should start on the root.
In the middle should be a 5.
And end on a jump to 8.

But I choose 7.

I've been wanting to go swimming
But the water's always cold.

In summer
Or spring

70 degrees
Yet it's still ice

On my toes.

Flying a plane?
How dare he.

He's in my lane,
I dare say.

That's unacceptable.
I refuse to believe.

Please don't harm me.
Just let me be.

I've become more caring
I've become more empathetic
I'm more in tune with my emotions
But I still can't cry
Why am I like this?

In a world where the old is the same as the new,
Is there even a difference between me and you?
Could we tell the false apart from the true?
Should we leave messages riddled with clues?

Mass produce my thoughts
Sell them for cheap
In the bargain bin
Is where they'll sleep

5 dollars for an idea
Copy then remake
Piled upon itself
Integrity's at stake

Think before you make up your mind
I don't seem to realize
I can't do this on my own
I'll need support

But if I fall
I'll miss you all.

Take me away
Far from here

Let me rest
On the clouds

I need an escape
From what I fear

Put me under
6 feet down

I'll go asunder,
My eternal slumber.

Sorry for the mistake
Of being born

Dear father
A name
You don't
Deserve

Take me away
Open up my pain
Press the wrinkles
Inhale my failure

Smoke in the sky
A sure warning

Here comes another
One more mistake
To join us.

Stuck in a pit
Or stuck in a rut?
Irrelevant, it's all the same.

The road is long and the load is heavy
But when I traveled with you it didn't matter.
I didn't think about the heat or the pain.
It wasn't any easier but it became almost fun
Like a game we'd play, the point didn't matter.
Now by myself I can't see a point.
It's long and painful and the joy is gone.
And as I keep walking, it never gets better.

Can you connect?
I can't.
These scribbles?
A mess.
Senseless scratches
On paper.

Every day I wake up and I ask why.
For what reason
For what purpose
For what cruel punishment was I chosen?
It's empty here.
Silence is abundant and joy is ever-waning.
But it's better I do this
Or so I told myself
Keep this reality from those I love.
Let them enjoy while I cannot

Things are better if I know they're ok.
but I deserve love too