i want you to be happy

even if it means i can't

I bled the pen dry, then
just threw it away  into
the trash alone...

For a moment I felt bad,
I had held it for so long
ushered my thoughts.

But now I treated it like a
one night stand, used it
and changed the sheets.

I picked up a new one and used
it as I had before, the guilt had
faded but the ink had not.

Hello, dear friend, you say,
bestowing what was our special greeting.
It's been a year, but I still succumb to your spell.

With good reasons, our past time together  
ended in suspicion and resentment.
I came away from it delicately gored, forming
what became my illusions of finality.

There was a time I welcomed your fiery high spiritedness.
But, inexorable time ticked away, and I wanted more.

I spent years scavenging your empty, oppressive heart.

Now, you cling so fast to me as the nights
soft breath declares its presence.

You struggle to erase my sorrow of yesterdays.

But for me, all our days of despair wash ashore.
I find myself settling in on the secret pain
you can't perceive, and will never see.

I have always been generous
Without expectation
Because my nature is rich
And my friendship is sincere

I can't tell you why ?
Just how much
I love you
I have never been good
By words
But today
I wrote this poem
for you
I love you

Don’t eat chicken noodle soup from a saucepan leaned back in a recliner
because your neighbor could hit his wife in the back of the head
with a cue ball and the cops might siren down your street
causing you to flinch and spill hot broth on your
chest;  I have a bone to pick with the coward.

Everywhere I go
Everybody wants to know
"Where's the lady"
They all ask
I answer, hiding behind a mask
Of smiles and laughs,
And say to them:
"She's gone, she won't be back again;
I don't care"
And shrug my shoulders.
But now my life is so much colder
I walk alone, the crowded streets
And tell my tale to friends I meet
Then I turn, walk on with the truth
With tear-filled eyes
I think of you