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sometimes
i apologize so much
i feel like i'm saying sorry for my existence
I'm so sorry
 Jan 2015 Bra-Tee
ryn
Interview
 Jan 2015 Bra-Tee
ryn
How are you?
I'm alright I guess...

Where do we begin?
Maybe at the start of this mess.

Are you uncomfortable?
I can't say that I'm not.

Is it your past?
Well it's all I've got.

Do you still get nightmares?
Well I used to...

Will you let them show?
Depends on you...

What do you hope to accomplish?
I don't know... Peace of mind?

Would you have done things differently?
Everyone wants the chance to push "rewind".

Care to elaborate?
Let's just say I would've liked to be braver.

What do you mean?
I should've stood up to my father...

Did he abuse your trust?
He did more than just that...

Rob you of your freedom?
Let's see... His belt, cigarettes and also boiling water out of a vat.

Do you wish him ill?
I wished him dead.

"Wished"?
Yeah...in his bed.

Why "wished"?
Because I wanted that then...

For how long?
Since I was ten.

What about now?
(
Maniacal smile) I am now... At peace.

"At peace"?
I have found release.

You have?
Yes... I couldn't resist the urge.

Urge to do what?
To comply with the voice... "
Freedom...lies in the purge..."

You left your father?
Yes but not before...

Go on...*
Not before I slit his throat with a smile on my face as I shut the door...
Inspired a programme I watched on the crime channel.
 Jan 2015 Bra-Tee
t
Cheers
 Jan 2015 Bra-Tee
t
"Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away."
 Jan 2015 Bra-Tee
t
Murder 101
 Jan 2015 Bra-Tee
t
"Tell them
                you love them
                                         and never
                                                           talk to them
again. "
 Jan 2015 Bra-Tee
t
60 Seconds
 Jan 2015 Bra-Tee
t
When asked, "How do I make her notice me?" The answer was simple.

You have one minute.

10 seconds to make eye contact

10 seconds to make her laugh

10 seconds to make her wonder

10 seconds to make her feel you're not like the others

10 seconds to exchange a smile

10 seconds of outrageous courage

The rest is up to you.
 Jan 2015 Bra-Tee
t
I asked,
"What is it like to wake up every morning and know you are dying?"

She responded,
"What is it like to wake up every morning and pretend you are not?"
 Jan 2015 Bra-Tee
t
A daily dillema
 Jan 2015 Bra-Tee
t
What happens when schooling begins to get in the way of my education?
 Jan 2015 Bra-Tee
t
It was an average Sunday morning consisting of cartoons, breakfast on the stove, and hot chocolate.

I yelled into the next room, "Dad is breakfast almost ready?"

After no response I yelled again, yet still nothing. I decided to get off the couch, and after that nothing would ever be the same.

As I entered the room my dad stood as though he was the prisoner of Medusa.

He began to shake and his head proceeded to slowly approach the non forgiving marble counter.

I ran to the kitchen and caught him in my arms just before his precious head impacted the counter.

There I sat, a twelve year old boy holding his father in his lap while his father's mouth began to foam.

My father's head sat so perfectly within my lap and I watched my father's soul began to lose touch with reality.

I screeched for help, but no one answered.

How can a boy still trying to master his multiplication table be asked to hold his father in his arms as his breath slowly ceased to exist.

I pushed my ear into his mouth to see if any breath of life was left, I heard nothing.

January 14th, 2009.

11:05am.

Happiness came knocking, no one was home.
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