I do
Not
Want to
Be
Afraid.

How
Can
I not be?
Afraid

It was
My lifestyle
For a very
Long time


I need to
Break
Out of
My
Shell.

lyrics - not a usual poem*

It's time for me to go,
To a place I've never been,
It's time for me to fall in love,
With things I've never seen.

And if you should miss me,
Here's what I have to say,
Keep awake for the sunrise,
For tomorrow is another day.

It's time for me to leave,
Staying here is breaking me apart,
It's time for me to wander alone,
And find my own new start.

And if my face is lost from your mind,
Here's what I believe to be true,
My face is not important my darling,
For I am in the very heart of you.

It's time for me to put my shoes on,
And go very far away from here,
It's time to forget everything,
I once held so close and dear.

So if you should forget me, my love,
That would do just fine,
For if we were meant to be,
Love will find the time.

College kids drink.
It's not the blood of Christ.
And when it is,
they still seem to abuse it.
The church doors are locked.
And my parents called.
And I don't know who these people are
And we're all drunk,
and it feels like skipping time.
Not in a grand sense of the word,
a 5 years ago I was in high-school sense of the word,
but where time doesn't exist, and there we are/

The night shines like gasoline oil.
But we're crammed together.
So I take a walk in bare feet in the mud.

I walk by guys who want to fight
Who smash bottles of Sky.
Shards exploding.

And I want my bed
and I walk home
a mile, then two, then it's three a.m.
Half jogging, drunk walking,
tipsy jogging, singing songs,
car lights are shooting starring
past me.

And no one drives me home this time
and I just want my bed
and I keep singing
some kid cudi song.

And then I'm home back in my bed
and I drink glasses of water
and then strip and get under the warm layers
and cool ceiling fan wind and drift asleep.

And I wake and drink more water.
Then fall asleep again.

After I have told you so much
Laid down so much in front of you
My struggles
Dreams
Needs
Wants
Secrets
I've opened up
I've let you see into my soul
The darkest parts
The foolishness
The stupid, giddy side of me
The things I wouldn't dare to dream of telling someone else
I chose
To open up
I made the choice
To trust
Again
And look
Once again

Lies have broken me

I have this canny little part of me
That somehow chooses to open up to people
Who LIE
And the lies are what hurt the most