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I wonder about you everyday—
Every little thing.
Did you miss my voice today?
I miss your voice.
Did you cry today?
If so, let my hands
Clear the storm of your eyes.
Did you smile today?
I miss your smile
It has made life worthwhile.
How is school?
What have you learned?
What have you forgotten?

I need to know if you will eventually
End up forgetting me and all that we have.
I need to know if you still love me
And need me in your life.
Who, what, where, why, and when?
Your being is all I'm seeing.
Who, what, where, why, and when?
Your being is all I'm seeing.

Am I on your mind as you drift off at night?
Am I what you dream of at night?
Am I the first you think of when you wake up?
Do you gaze over at your passenger seat, longing for me to be there?
We would drive along holding hands listening to music for hours—
Does every little thing remind you of me?
Your love greets me at all hours.
Do you crave my lips as I do yours?
When you close your eyes can you feel me?
Does your body ache for my touch?
My soul wants to leave this body in search of yours.

I need to know if you will eventually
End up forgetting me and all that we have.
I need to know if you still love me
And need me in your life.
Who, what, where, why, and when?
Your being is all I'm seeing.
Who, what, where, why, and when?
Your being is all I'm seeing.
  Apr 2016 Ariel Taverner
Pixievic
I can taste the colours of your kiss
Fiery crimsons bursting through
Mellow yellows
Exploding into sweet tangelo
Cool blues
Turning violet
As my senses play this quiet duet

I hear music when you touch me
Bass lines throbbing alongside
Exotic rhythms
Tumbling into trembling strings
Soaring voices
Dulcet tones
Within your music my body groans

I can smell flowers in your words
Tender Honeysuckle pervades
Alluring Rose
Sweet Alyssum quickly follows
Heady Jasmine
Lascivious Lilies
Impressions that set my spirit free

You muddle my mind with euphoria
Sensibility rearranged
In anticipation
Of this intoxication
I live
In Synaesthesia
Whenever you are near

(C) Pixievic
A friend issued me a challenge to write a poem about Synaesthesia (the ability to taste colours or see smells etc) this is what I came up with .....
When I said “I love you,” I lied
with a drifting and dreamy head
across the velvety sea
I imagined
resting and narrowly defined
in the nakedness
at the edge of your lap.

I have a history
of over-indulging
mixed-up senses.

I tasted the sight
of a gently curved nose.

I caressed the scent
of a lightly perfumed neck.

I’ll speak but not hear again
of the salty, savory, sweetness;
all bitterness has gone.

It’s not that I binged
so much as feasted
after a prolonged period
of self-deprivation.

And now I’m caught
between two urges:
To shave, to shear, to no longer
shabbily make shrift;
Or to revel
in the sloppy temptation
of recalling you.

Powerless I'll watch
the dissembling
tomorrow makes.

Before it comes, whisper-soft,
I repeat my mistake,
and unreliably say,
“I loved you.”
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 License.
Ariel Taverner Mar 2016
Dear Alcohol and.....'You'. You should meet up. You guys have so much in common. You'd be great friends

I mean, you both got me aroused. You by your tantalizingly forbidden nature and Alcohol by.... Well alcohol. No seriously you guys are very similar! Neither of you have substance. You substituted your personality with a pretty face and a prettier body. And alcohol....Well you are a liquid. Both of you also look pretty on the outside while hiding your destructive nature on the inside. You, with a model's face and a statue's heart, and Alcohol with...well pretty bottles....you know? Even how I think of you two is similar. I mean....my therapist knows all about how both of you ****** my life up. I'm only 16 for ***** sake. You guys are so similar in fact that you only cause internal damage and extrenal signs only start manifesting as a result of prolonged exposure. Both of you got me intoxicated on a false promise of happiness. You promised a time of waiting and a future between us but only delivered heartache. Alcohol promises euphoria but delivers a hangover and liver damage. Both forcefully ripped happiness out of my future, stuffed it into the present, leaving only pain in my future....
See....You both helped me grasp onto the impossible hope of something intangible. And the funniest thing of them all is how you caused each other. You were attracted to my pain and angst caused by alcohol. And alcohol? Well we're good friends again after you.
Ariel Taverner Mar 2016
Sitting close next to each other in the car listening to the same music with the same set of earphones, ******* my parents off by ignoring them and giggling

Sitting on the hood of a car with my head on your shoulder as we talk about the beautiful things in this world

Us.

Us in an art studio we rented for two hours. Unlimited paints and colours. Everything from the walls to the chairs to each other are the canvases

Sitting at a family dinner talking to my family as I sip wine from my right hand and curl my left hand around yours. We don't need to talk to each other just be with each other.  

Walking in to the room to find you passed out from exhaustion. Smiling because I'm happy that you feel safe enough to sleep around me.

Falling asleep with you in my arms. I fall asleep with the smell of your hair on my mind.

Covering your sleeping figure with a blanket.

Falling asleep without a blanket. Waking up with one.

Falling asleep alone. Waking up with you.

You

You kissing me awake

Drawing you.

Seeing you. Running to you catching you and lifting you as I hug you and twirl you.

Laughing until we cry

Driving along. Seeing a puppy in the street. Take it home wash it feed it and play with it. Together with you.

Buying a glass Rose and giving it to you.

Smudging your lipstick.

Helping you to put your makeup on and giggle as I make small mistakes just to annoy you.

Painting your nails. Taking the brush and dabbing your nose to see your smile.

Going on a run with you through the forests. Letting you win because I enjoy running behind you.

Getting lost with you by my side. Telling you that 'lost is relative'.

Sitting on a Park bench with you. Talking about the people walking past. Speculating on how God did his job well.

Explaining my art to you

Listening to you for as long as you can talk.

Seeing you concentrate on some small task. You do not notice me there. Seeing who you are when you're alone.

Reading a book in front of the fire as you sit beside me and read a different one. We compete for the blanket.

Reading my poetry that I wrote for you about you.

You forgiving me.

Waking you up in the middle of the night when it's pouring outside. Sitting at a Window and telling you about how I used to do this as a child. Having you rest your head on my shoulder as we silently share the moment, chilly from the wet cold air.

Waking you up in the middle of the night when it's raining heavily. Going outside with you waiting until we're both soaked then tell you how beautiful you look. Hugging you.

Hugging you in the rain.

Kissing you in the rain.

Walking under an umbrella as a thunderstorm rages around us. Being close together as a little silo of dry air is created around us under the umbrella. A tiny world all to ourself.

Falling asleep to the sound of rain. You are next to me.

Spontaneously buying an artwork for you that you saw and liked at a flea market.

Buying you a puppy.
An ever growing list.
  Mar 2016 Ariel Taverner
Arlo Disarray
Here I am, so ******* high that I cannot see straight
Wallowing in memories of feelings that I hate
Looking in the mirror thinking "could my life be great?"
But knowing deep inside that I'm too impatient to wait

Here I lie, so ******* high, that I cannot stand up
I took too many pills, but I don't feel them enough
I've smoked myself to empty, and my lungs are feeling rough
I try to cry for help, but my faded voice is too gruff

Here I sit, I'm high as ****, and I can hardly breathe
Why'd my rock have to knock off and so selfishly leave?
Whys and cries will fill my mind until I'm stuffed with greed
I'm tired and wired and my heart's retired, it now refuses to bleed
I know I'm starting to sound like a broken record, but when my dad killed himself it killed me too. I keep thinking I'm okay for a while and then I slip back into my depression. I miss him.

I'll always miss him.

I'll always love him.
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