I often wonder how to make it back home
And why it feels like all the effort goes unnoticed
The pressure keeps on building up and closing in
And now I swear I've forgotten how to swim
Why is it always easier to just walk around
I miss the music that influenced us to talk for hours
That made us want to stop and smell the flowers
For just a second it's all I ever wanted
Now I feel like every star I used to wish on is falling out of the sky
Now we can't even find the time
And if we did, I doubt you would even look me in the eyes like you once did
Everything is just a story now
And it's practically impossible to word it out
If I could find the peace of mind to press rewind
I'd do it in a heartbeat if I thought it would make a change
I would freeze an entire moment in a second
If I thought it would make a bit of difference
I never meant for us to be alone

It is my fault i fell for your devious charms.
i loved the mystery and went digging in you, mine,
lucky me i found diamonds and kimberlites .
As the temperature rose up my alarm bells went off,
but the crowds calmed them down asking me how i landed such a lad.
Ego puts fear, paranoia and all gut instincts to sleep.
Your hand landed on my face one day,
sorry you had to pop my pimples unwillingly,
and i apologize for staining your hands with my blood.
I was researching on the number of women killed by their partners in South Africa.
Sorry i did not clear my history and you had to see this.
I apologize for giving birth to these beings, beautiful creatures we brought to life ,you and i, that now hate your guts just because they do not understand that it is my fault.
i lost another one yesterday when you gently slammed me against the wall because you didn't want to believe that he was yours as well.


so now  i write you this letter, read it to the crowds and tell them what a bad wife i had been.
tell them that i was weak, tell them i couldn't endure the hardships of this marriage and had an appointment with my maker.
Tell them i was useless.
cremate me and put my ashes in the trash bag.

it is all my fault and i apologize from the bottom of my heart.

I've worn 1000 different shoes that never fit me
Millions of things I could possibly be
Since the 7th grade I said "I'll be a writer!"
At that moment I my future seemed brighter
I wrote about love and my passion was fire
Never thought I'd be a lover and a fighter  
They told me the sky's the limit and to break the mold
What I'm writing is the story yet to be told
7th grade about 12 or 13 years old I remember
I wrote my first poem in December
My mind and drive never waivered in the years to come
Writing for me was always fun
Dreams that these words would surpass the rays of the sun
The sky's the limit while there's endless room in space
That will give me time and room to chase
The American dream ooo I wanted a taste
First I have to sweep the entire nation
So I started with a pen, pad, and some inspiration
I kept on writing believe I never slowed down
My dreams are not here in my home town
I joined the army when I was 18
You guessed it, in the pursuit of MY American dream
They said the army might make me colder
But as I grew older my mind body and soul grew bolder
Writing became my art even when it seemed
I'd be having more nightmares than dreams
Surrounded by strangers who have never heard of me
I always said what better of a place to be?
To spread my dream with the people I now call family
I would share with them writing, a piece of me for where ever they go
People from all walks of life reading my words all reacting with "woah"
Was the moment I knew MY dream will grow