You work hard
To make this house a home
Then turn around
And break all my bones.

Come down through the mountain range,
Hop off of your high horse, he's been smoking,
You've been gloating and bloating,
Telling fables of how our house is blazing,
A nuclear family who's your pride,
Cause we are sticking by your side,
Glued-tight at the seams, turn on the beams,
The glare will blind our closest,
Is it worth it to not disclose it?

You work hard,
To give this house some gloom,
You don't care to see the children bloom,
Cause nothings worth losing your little kids,
You own us. You own our things, You own our love.
You own our home, You own our food.
Would you ever own up?

I am a stain,
and I am a saint,
I've never confessed,
And I swear I've lied,
At least a thousand times.

If you keep up with me,
You'll pray to the Devil,
And loose all your morals,
I will savor the fire He rains.

I will walk the lines,
That trace my pentagon,
Cause I'm a sinner,
Eating Christ for dinner.

If you keep up with me,
You'll pray to the Devil,
And loose all your morals,
I will savor the fire He rains.

A blight in your sight,
I will tempt you to Hell,
In all my lavish seduction,
A burning desire to do you.

Does it feel better?
When God points your compass?

If he were proven unreal.
Where would you go?
Would you burglarize?
Would you assault?

Would  you  ****?

I feel unstable,
Like a fairytale,
Walking home,
Driving home,
Flying home,
On my own.

Build me up from the bottom,
I was wholly rotten,
From the inside to out,
So blatantly incorrect.

                             "Just an unfortunate mistake."

Least I've got love,
Least I've got heart,
Least I've got a roof,
Least I've got food.

What if it's not enough?
Oh, I suppose it's not enough.

                             "Rotten monster
                                                         Selfish creature"

I wanna see the stars.
It's just so much to ask.

The world doesn't work well for me.

Deaf

Trans

ASD

ADHD

Queer

I work for the world but inefficiently.
Constantly crying and breaking down.

                              "Pitiful adult
                                                      Absolute burden"

It goes on and on.
This intersectional conundrum.
It's me. I'm the problem.

I can see where I'm worth.
So It's not me that's a problem.

It's the world that has no step stool.
The people like me know what I mean.

Praying despite disbelieving.
Lord how could I work through this?

Might as well.
Or no.

What if it's not enough?
Oh, I suppose it's not enough.
Never enough.

Pick the pieces of me off the ground,
Then scatter them around,
Don't bother to sneak,
I won't ever know,
Cause I can't hear a sound.

The worst of the worst,
Has seared itself into my cranium,
Cementing itself as scar tissue,
An ailment that'll never fade away.

The best of the best,
Worn out and transparent,
Slipping away with every blink,
Poignant moments that have jaded.

Twist and contort my voice into something unrecognizable,
So I can feel something other than my own self-destruction.
A fortnight or two until I'm totally blue,
Water cast to fire just to satiate his primal desire.

I've got not much to walk for,
Nothing to run for,
Nothing to scream for,
It's all just a chore.

Carry me down my own obsidian path,
Leave you barefoot to slip and bleed.
Only then you'll see what it feels to be me,
Maybe then you'll hold me closer and tighter than before.

I've got not much to walk for,
Nothing to run for,
Nothing to scream for,
It's all just a chore.

Let me watch the sun drown in the shimmering lake,
Why do you always block the beautiful view?
Doesn't it make sense that I have stopped respecting you,
For all that you do, For all that you say,
How is it any stretch to feel so enraged.