Break me down.
Tear me apart.
Tired of being..
A wall..
Made of concrete
with reinforced steel.
I want to be a green hill
and an old Oak
Where people sit,
read, think and feel.
Where I can see the sunrise
and the ascend of the night.
Where I can welcome you
in my world
and shield you with my branches
and leaves
from the cold rain
in the midst of a starfilled sky.
Where resolve is strengthened or refound.
Where selves are again centered
and doubts dissolved in morning mists.

In a constant state of slumber and waking.
Being the same being,
being everchanging.
Losing myself and searching,
stumbling upon and finding.
Drifting in the shadows,
face changing with different lighting.
I can't explain. I'm silent.
Strings attached to violins.
Sincerity masking violence
from inner strings that chime in.

Everything feels connected
but the space between my face and mask
is a layer of self rejection.
You can see I'm sometimes vacant,
that's when my emptyness is present.
Thoughts that stir a fog,
adding another layer in a second.
You can see I'm trying to wake up,
yet love has trouble reconnecting.
That's when some of you say may name
and bring me back and that's my blessing.

Unpleasant emptyness
bring me your insanity
and I'll gladly meet it
with total surrender.

Violence resides within us.
We are capable so we should embrace it as part of us.
There is beauty in anger and there is beauty in hatred.
Actively producing desperation. A complex webbing within an intricite structure as complex as fractals yet based on the simplest patterns. A need needing to be satisfied. A cringe.
A needle scratching inside your mind and heart, slowly pulling your attention towards the dark. Tainted with the beauty of impurity. To be able to see the dark means there is a foreign understanding about light. To strive for the jewel that is unreachable. To taste the fruit you have longed for, it's juices running over your mouth as you can finally indulge and devour with greed, with lust enhancing the flavor as there is no time to savor. It's almost ******. It is almost violent.
Striving to satisfy your needs... So basic.
A foundation laying motivation.
When was the last time you devoured something you desperately longed?

A death that was foreseen,
yet a consequence was not,
The end of pain and loss
was met with acceptance and love
and inspiration slipped from my grasp
and I tried all the tricks in the book
to keep my pen writing

And I wish it were as simple
as going out and buying a new pen
From what source do I draw out ink,
when on the road to selflove and acceptance?
When old questions and doubts
have met with answers and a clear path?

Empty

I witness my focus jolting to a thought
splitting off into my subconcious,
towards different places in time and  memory
and it's coming back with pieces of a puzzle,
painting an invisible picture
that I can somehow grasp.

Conciousness is a multidimensional canvas.

Unspoken words screaming to those who listen
pleas of the fallen ****** echo through abandoned halls
eroded by millions of years of emptyness
lingering sadness, the tears of Regret
create a damp moist atmosphere
moss absorbs and settles in the dark
growing....conquering for reasons undisclosed
because it can
because it can mercilessly run free unchecked through the empty space
slowly but surely establishing dominance...
the wind lies still
slumbers like an ancient Dragon
away from all the events happening elsewhere
time slows to a near stop
the voices sleep with the wind
and all comes to an end
slowly and surely the passage of time ceases to exist
when all life and energy comes to a complete standstill
it is then a place becomes eternity
it is then the definition of time is rebuttled
Shattered physics as broken shards of glass uncover the lie that lies behind it
time doesn't exist. Merely the speed at which events move.. and when all stops moving immortality can be achieved.

When all is lost in a singularity
I'd revel in the sheer delight
of watching my limbs tear from my body.
To know that my soul is shred,
skinned alive.
I'll fathom new depths to pain
even for a brief moment.
I'll think and think and think and think
and observe how my thoughts dissolve
I'll live and thrive in that moment,
feel alive as long as I can.
My gruesome death would leave a lesson:
There are some things, that can't be taken.
as I ironically dissapear without a trace left.

Perfectly abusing life and death.
Because one cannot exist without the other.
My death could not have existed without my life
and dying would solidify my message through my existence.
And I'll keep weaving a web of extremities
and leave this life a God.
A message written through a void.
Creation through nothing.
The feeling of having "It, who takes" at a checkmate.

The shadow of my soul laughs loud.
As I peer in Death's eyes
and let him watch how I set myself free through his confinement.
I'll leave, giving the King a brief moment of what it's like to be truly powerless.

I don't need to search for myself.
I just need to accept that I'm already here.

I'm done..
Just done..

Can't live like this.
...

If God brings true salvation
than Demons keep you alive.

Behind this waterfall of sadness I burn brighter than ever

Broken bones, cracked wood, bullet holes
concrete jungle, trashed hoods
events parted souls.
New generation,
burned eyes, pictures burned within
the frame of mind.
Flicker like flames, burning bright
like daytime. Behaviour leaving
vague signs..smokesignals.
Adding oil, fake signs
attracted like a moth to the flame
the pyromaniac saves time.
set-up, stamp time
written the punchline
**** it, it's lunchtime
This One Ate Seven Poets
Get burned lines
like the horizon touching the *sunrise

Witness mankind taking one step in the right direction.

Upgraded to being mega bored.

Blood runs colder than cashflow
- Psiklone

The Earth is 4,5 billion years old...
4,5 billion years of memories experienced by both life and atoms.
You can almost grasp what it was like back then
The strangely familiar feeling, warm and comforting
as if it's part of you and as if you are part of it
The world stares back when you stare at 'it'
Thus the world is watching you walk
it has no eyes because it has no need for it
it can see clear and it's eye pierces
what no eye can ever see
The serene being living for over 4 billion years..
Can you fathom the life experience? What it has been through?
I can't and I know I'm not ready yet.

But what I do know of my soul is that it's commited to something.
It's trying to achieve something for over two thousand years now.
It would be truly grand if a soul's lifetime lasts a lifetime of Earth.
I find purpose in knowing that I want to achieve something over
a time of multiple lives. It makes me feel less useless because it gives me time to further develop myself. And when I talk of family I can't help but wonder. What if I'm your successor and I have committed myself to the task that you have when it is time for you to retire?

Jaw clenched and with anger burning in my eyes
I'll tell you.
You killed me....
Unforgivable.
Abusive.
It is repulsive.
Manipulative.
I am disgusted.
Dramatic.
I say redundant.
Symbiotic
it's pethetic.

You will always manage to trigger my gag reflex.
May death be the head that rests on your beating chest.
I will thrive on your despair and laugh when you get desperate
I will be there in dreams you don't want nobody to see
and I will just watch.
Suffer, struggle, scream.
Nobody acknowledges you. Nobody sees you.
Because that is the everlasting abyss that I dominate.
I will envelop and devour you
untill you are completely surrounded.
Then.
I'll turn my back.
and thrive.
Absolute Zero.

I took a dive..
A little too deep
and now I miss the ground
from under my feet

I come up and gasp for air

The taste of salty defeat
gritted between my teeth

My heart is pounding
My bones are throbbing
enveloped by the chill of the sea
I am shocked and in awe
emerging in the silence of the storm

in a cloudy night before dawn

*"It's time to go."

I used to talk and write
About being forgotten and lost
My path brought me to my knees
Did it not?
The poems were moments of
Silence...
...
And descriptions of the turbulence
Within
Of movement
Where I'd dig deeper

A dog
Eagerly looking for buried bones
In forgotten moments
That passed by within the blink of my inner eye

But never have I described
The walk I walk
Never have I shown you
My vulnerability
Because I love her as dearly
And protect her behind my masks
And silence

Maybe another time
A different poem
When I no longer fear your rejection
Maybe when I no longer crave your acknowledgement
But find fulfillment in my own

Will I show you
The wisdom of that small child inside me
Who carries a closed book titled potential
Maybe then..
Will I show you
For now I'll hide it in my words.

You can stay there sticking your **** through a gloryhole, but that doesn't guarantee someone will ever stop by to **** on it.

My thoughts glide through the air
a falling leaf during spring
Let's not be mistaken
The tree is a God
discarding the leafs
that thought infity was within their grasp
but the tree is just
He who does not judge
is free of sin
yet a slave to virtue
The tree roots buried deep
desperately clinging to Earth which gives him life
A God amongst mortals
is a mortal as well
Where the leafs failed
the tree succeeded

My thoughts glide through the air
a falling leaf during spring
A God amongst mortals

I'd grab a knife and let it tear through my flesh
to rip out this inner strife if it wouldn't lead to my death.
My soul shivers he beats on his chest in fact that's why I breathe
on this ****** to try and relax. My mind is stretched to the max
my head needs to detach, my soul needs to eject.
Hotheaded armed with an icepick.
Hacking away at this ice that my spine grips.
My thoughts are confined in a space as small as my iris
and I'm behind iron bars of anxiety that I constantly have to fight with.
I've become a mass murderer, locked in a psychiatric ward as I **** my parts within, erasing my kin, the ink from the teardrops darkens my skin.
Fallen to sin. My world in the dark. A void shaped like a heart.
Yet this Tinman retaliates against the wizard of Oz!
My torch an everburning question mark
answers? That's the past but Life throwing hooks so I HAVE to dodge.
Hits exit Pause-my-world which I create so I can spit back in the face of God!

You awoke a sleeping giant, a savage beast, a lion
My soul roars everytime you see me sighin
I won't ignore these tidings
A frozen force is rising
Close to war my broken core redefines defiance.

So I will stand my ground and fight
go bar for bar with life.
Proudly wear these battlescars
you'll be astounded by my might
A star upon my sky
My reach is long and wide
You see I'm strong you're weak and wrong
I no longer hide
Because I don't have a mind
I am guided by the light
my sight set on my rage
replace my blood with hate
bleed and rust and easily crush
this tyrant in my cage.

When you first come to this place, you would probably forget where you are heading. Golden Gates, clear blue sky, laughter. Birds flying way up high. A kind man greets you with a smile. His bright blue eyes sparkle a bit and he tells you, you can enter. You step through the gates and  there's an Angel waiting for you. The experience and sheer aura of this Angel makes you slightly bow down you head as you witness purity itself. Only then can you imagine what it must be like to meet Him. Because no matter how you look at it there can't be someone more pure than Him. He greets you with a warm smile. His eyes shed a faint pure light. His halo made of white pure light, a beacon you now know was there when it was dark. Mezmerized, almost smitten you just stand there, realising how small you are. The Angel calls you by a name you don't recognise and he noticed it. The fear you feel of telling him what your real name is, is almost to great to bear. To stand up against such a higher existence, a being probably thousands of years old and still so young. When you're about to stand up for yourself, taken a moment to gather the courage, he apologises and says that he calls you by your Soulname. He explains that you lived nearly as long as he did and that every soul here has a name of it's own. He also says that it's time to follow him. He guides you to a palace and after a while you enter a room. Inside this room there's a halo shining a bright white light. It draws you in, you don't notice the Angel closing the door behind you. The White light goes out and the first thing you see is the eyes of your new mother.

When you first come to this place you would probably forget where you are heading. At least for some, there's only one place for me to go. Upon witnessing the Golden gates I look both left and right and see the Golden fence stretch infinitely. I look up and see the birds flying, I let my eyes adjust at the distance for a moment. The birds are trying to fly further up, but they can't. Open Air prison is what comes to mind. I walk towards the gates and see Petrus, he greets me. Behind his blue eyes there's a sparkle of madness. He tells me to go on through as I walk past him an Angel greets me. Welcomes me home and calls me Axle. Images flash by of my hundreds of previous lives. Lives where I always stood up for people, always helped them and loved them. I look back at the Angel and greet him. 'It's been a long time Earos'. He tells me to follow him and he guides me to the palace. After walking for a while I enter a room. Inside of this room is a halo shining a pure white light. It instantly moves above my head and with it i've lost my individual way of thinking.

*When you first come to this place you probably forget where you are heading. At least most people would. But not me, no Sir, there's only one place for me to go. As I look at the Golden Gates I'm kind of confused, inside the golden bars I see flames being contained inside them. I look up and see birds flying. I try and look better and I see them flying further upwards. Why would they do that? The birds suddenly dive and increase their speed to the point where they burn to ashes. Suicide? I walk to the gates and see Petrus. He greets me with a grin and whispers 'welcome home brother'. I ignore him and proceed past the gates. An Angel greets me, his eyes pure white. But I can still smell the fear mixed with a bit of sweat. Right before he tries to call my Name I immediatly regain the memories of my past ten lives. Lives filled with ******, madness, abuse,fraud,greed,envy and every other sin and crime I commited. Right before he calls me my name I scream SILENCE! Don't you dare speak my name Axle! I look him right in his eyes, he's silent. Now, take me home. When we enter the palace gates I start to feel strange. Uncomfortable, itchy and sweaty. I enter a room, inside it there's a Halo shining pure white light. When it moves over my head I grab it and smash it on the floor. The lights go out, pure darkness envelops me. The first thing I see is a throne with a man sitting on it. I look around and all I see is wasteland burning, broken buildings, cruficixes burning. The man welcomes me leans forward and says the following: Zacharias or Zac, good that you're here. I've been waiting for ten years to meet you, to meet the Left hand of God. With these words spoken the rest of my memories unlock, a time of where I was an Angel. Suddenly forced back into the world of living only to commit sin and ******. I'm shocked and take a step back. Lucifer says he has an explanation for what happened. Ten years ago, right after I got sent back a few Angels managed to seal God in his room using unholy methods found in lost and sealed chapters of the Bible from Hell. Lucifer explains that he made me commit sin for ten lives in order for me to get in Hell and escape their trap. He asks me for help because sealing his Archenemy upset the balance of the passing of Souls. And it's something that needs to be rectified. I agree to help him and with agreeing an Old War has resurfaced.

The core of my heart is compassion, it's warmth passionate.
Enveloped by the pain and sadness of my past experiences.
The bright light hugging it is made from the love I have received in my life. The scars on my heart is proof that life acknowledges me.
The tears that I shed for myself and for those I love is the light and hope I give to others who are shining just as bright.
When I look up to the night sky and gaze the stars we have the tendency to feel insignificant. But it is in this very tendency where our tenacity lies. To want to grow to being significant on cosmic scale. Besides the fact that our tenacity and willpower lies in that very thought we also create an illusion for ourselves. The night sky tells me I'm significant, for we are small yet we matter in the world we live in. When our hearts open our horizon widens, our world becomes bigger but it also deepens. I would like to invite those that say that this world is getting smaller to not look at size but to zoom in on one specific aspect of life. You would realize how significant an ant or a microbe is and just how dependant we are on the smallest of creatures and how significant they are to us. You would realize that the smallest of things  allow us to be significant for others and that it serves as the foundation, the stepping stone for us to be significant on a cosmic timescale. Everything is connected and so far everything we know except ourselves honors that connection.

Blade sheathed in despair
Forged from the heat of passionate hatred
Man melted with metal
smithing dealt death with every blow
Cold blood to cool steel
A heart you'd judge lost
But his wavers not.

The vulnerability of Life
blood spatters
like pink leaves leaving the Sakura tree
Slow, as your life withers'n'witnesses
A heart you'd judge lost
But his wavers not.

Back'n'forth the Eb'n'Flow of blood
as life comes and goes
balancing on ropes
unseathed the wind blows
Fall'n'die, unfair
Your arrogance punished by
A heart you'd judge lost
But his wavers not.

Fail to witness, Fail to see
Fail to feel, Fail to flee
disposition to disharmony
Death doesn't cause a scene
Taken by
A heart you'd judge lost
but his wavers not.

The world is a cruel place for a kind heart
which is a wise thought, which life taught
me when my kind heart got lost
in a mind dark. Life always defines art
it is refined, smart, pierces through lies sharp.
Those standing in the light are always surrounded by night, marked.
Cursed is the kind heart to always feel the cold of the world,
cursed to try and survive by his own warmth.
To try and thrive despite being shunned by He who shines in the sky
ignored by She who gave Earth life.
We try to surpass the sky just as we strive for truth.
The kind heart remains old through youth.
As kids we played yet we say we had a philosophical childhood.
Death surrounds us as we surround death.
It never dares intrude our space, it never dares to take.
It can only give, as we play a game
a kind heart is like Death, we will both never change.

These last few weeks..
I saw how Life forsake her
and Death embraced her
cold sweats freezes
her beautifull and soft skin
I have dreams
of where she would wake up mid night
tears and fear filled her eyes
every exhale is partly ice

I would grip my pillow tighter
and hug the woman from my dreams
send my love and comfort her
and make sure she feels at ease
I would pull her close to me
wrap my arms around her tight
I would tell her that it's okay
and that I'm there in the darkest hour of every night
and I will stay untill we bathe in the brightest of lights
I will not go anywhere, I won't run away
so please.. stay with me
my woman from my dreams

Love is life but life isn't love, so the love for life is never lost.

Heart made of onyx
Core of the soul bright
that's an oxymoron
Put down your glasses
because it's visible to the naked eye

Strip now & have *** with me
I'll take every ***** little thing
untill all that's left is one layer of humanity.
Flay your personality
dip your skin in lust turn pleasure into wellbalanced sanity

Borderline crazy? I'm just portraying my vanity
I speak double tongue
I don't only twist and bend words
you can't comprehend my capabilities
because you have never shared a bed with me

The world is my play ground
creativity is to see what others don't
She thinks in waves and that's why I stay sound
Resonate.You can say that I vibrate too.
I licked the double slit theory.

I shed light to see what's underneath our sight
Truth based on perception
Reality existing within all possibilities
you decide which one you witness

Death the father that is always at work
He who motivates us to push
A stay at home mother who nurtures us
I am but a child innocent in the conflict between them

I am here because Death keeps ******* with Life.

Symbolized like Superman right?
I undress you with my eyes
you are bare and I am not afraid to look inside
the Kryptonite
X marks the treasure so dig up some sunlight
and uncover the veil

Am I making sense? Even though I'm way past the sentence?
Just like you I'm sentenced to die because I was born.

Life.. It's.. All..
- Sir.Real.

I need not share my wisdom with you. For it is my wisdom and I decide whom  I shall enlighten.

Pure of heart
blackened mind
invaded by the darkest thoughts
Depressed
bogged down
suppressed
high
heaven
prison in the sky
enveloped in eternal light
yet I ache to set my sight on the moon
Sinless, with the curiosity of a sinner
Limitless
yet I long for shelter
On the road to home
yet I made the road my home
Never winter, night
Waterdeep
metropol
a city of splendors
yet I want to sleep
starless sky
no star to wish upon
I want to cry
yet every tear shed is vaporized
an oppressed dead prisoner
law abiding citizen
a victim of Heavens censorship

Feelings numb
soul gone
me?
I left a long time ago
I am no more
A shadow..
abandoned by light
forever
forgotten
it never happened
a different branch in time
a choice was made
that was never made
not an echo
or an aftereffect
a solved paradox
exist
in existenceless

Concrete jungle, ******* tomato!

Digging for treasures,
dusty pits,
shoveling ashes.
Where the dead lie forgotton.
When I put em there
I didn’t bother with caskets.

Old hollow bones
dead men tell no tales
and I sure as Hell can’t remember
what I did to them that got them here.

I dig and dig and dig
with candle light
past lives, flicker and dance in my shadow.
But I’m not here to watch their past amusements

What am I looking for?
In these vast swathes of grey land.
There are no answers in these Ashy oceans.
Waves of dust, skeletons drowned in pitiful regret.
Their last words lie at the bottom
damning those that dare and listen.
The wind howls without whispers.
There’s only silence that has been shed from life.
Meaningless and unimportant.

I need to think!
I shouldn’t doubt! Not here. Not where I am now.
The answer is right in front of me.
So what am I not seeing?

There’s only barren ash
and buried past.
A grey sky, heavy clouds of black thoughts.
I got a parched throat and no water.

I take a deep breath.
And the answer is right there
in front of me.

I stand up. I know what I need to do
to turn this place into Fertile land.

Blood trickles from my fingers,
From my hands
gripping the pen tighter
with barbwire wrapped around it
The physical pain
Puts distance between me
and my emotions
Ink drips out as it mixes with my blood
Writing shallow words on paper
making my life more tolerable
As the hatch to my traumatized self
stays shut for just a little while longer.

The cold rain
is a pleasant companion
compared to the ever absence of drought.
The settling dust just dwindles around
it provides no coat of comfort
like the countless raindrops that are crashing upon me.
I miss an arm around my shoulder.

Sincerely yours,

Vulnerability

Ooh Old One, yet so young
Whose habits are etched into my body
Emotional scars, physically invisible
You can't see, but you could feel..

Place your hand on my lower back
Run your hands up and down my neck
Feel my calves, thighs,
shoulders, everything still so tight

Yet my mind is light
my smile is genuine

Hardships are guided
for a safe landing inside me
Tears run down my cheek
Close my eyes and see

All kinds of me,
Sadness, Happiness, Anger,
all running up to me
Smiling, greeting, consoling me,

So what I see
is that I need a soft home
For my inner family.

Hello old friend... it's been a while..
You wanted to experience me again?
Well yes, although I can't deny that I regret this decision.
However you're a part of life and I should at the very least acknowledge that.
You've always been a strange one..
I just wanna try and see if it works. It's difficult though.
Well, I'm rather complicated don't you think?
That's also what makes you interesting, being a part of me I don't quite understand. How are you feeling?
Well I'm rather happy, it's been a while since you gave me this much space to occupy.
I don't want to supress you, I just want to be at peace with you.
I don't
And that's where our conflict lies. I acknowledge you as a part of me but I need you to acknowledge that you are also just a part. This power struggle is senseless. It doesn't hold in line with your needs as well.
And what do I need if you understand me that well?
I don't know.. self love?
Haha! Are you ******* kidding me?
Which is exactly my point. Why hate yourself?
Because that's what I am
An extension of my emptiness and therefore nonexistent.
Harsh words
You're a harsh man.
Judging you is my job
And that's what I wanted to experience again.

We both laughed.

I will always be against you, every step of the way
Then I will acknowledge you as a part that's there to make me stronger, to make me grow.  

*Good luck

Buried alive
In the projects
Called life..
My only ally is time
trust no one
because every one
consists of lies

it's all dark
All is black
death aims at me
Point blank
Ignorence is bliss
wishing I didn't know any of this
But I can feel it's presence
constantly... a desire.. a curiosity.

waiting for the occasional spark
maybe it's Death, taking a life
like a devouring shark..
naked in my grave
with only a scarred
leather book
and a quill with enough ink
to write a lifestory

So i'm writing my pages
my story that I want to tell
but with every spark of light
I can't telll.. these words
and sentences.. are strange to me..
I didn't write this..

Did somebody stole it?
Living the story I want to tell?
A story about a nice life
with good people
And a world that isn't Hell?

Hate surges up within me..
I quit writing, not a letter written
quill  smashed into the ground
another innocent victim..

My eyes open
conscience shattered
mind of a hunter
stalking it's prey
I'm going to steal a book
and give him my empty one..
A thief.

In the center of the core of Gaia.
My inner world revolves around me.
I am strong enough to carry all.

All I feel is pain
sadness and hurt.
With a slight tone of positivity
Love ever so present
like a distant dim light in the dark.
Gestures of good will
either harvested with selfish intentions.
Like putting coins in a slotmachine
to hit the Karma jackpot.
Or genuine kindness.
Mass produced negativity
running rampant across the globe
fits the current type of mankind
like a perfect silk glove.
I feel the wind crying,
poisoned and sick.
Clouds ***** acidic rain
every drop a bombardment
infused with a chemical mix.
I feel the sunlight trying to escape the earth
but the clouds are moody
representing the mental sickness
of the guests under their roofs.
There is no escape once you land
on this manmade Mental Asylum.
I am scarred by kids with knives
young unpure love that is quickly crushed.
Only a handfull experience a lifetime of love.
Earth is sick, being gutted alive
stripped barren and bombarded
with it's own body used as weapons
that have turned against their Host.
Me and all my friends know.
For we are tree's, our bark is thick
protecting our rooted Souls
in the deep slick soil.
Connected with Earth
we feel everything that it endures.
And it hurts..