I'm meditating on meditating
trying to figure this out
learning to clear my mind
breath in
breath out
the thoughts have slowed
my love reminds me
just think of something
else
not so distracting
not so dishonoring
to my spirit
I'm trying
not every day is a "success"
some I meditate less
once every 30 days or so
I cry
Ah to be woman
…it's just me.

the voice within
the one that powers the
language and the concentration
working on addictions of
passing time.
an intriguing concept
really you just breath or
sleep and breath, in and out
breath in
breath out

things are getting interesting.
the sky has elaborate paintings,
I'm back dating
and my smile feels settled.
it no longer teeters, on the fence
to appear... worried to offend
someone. a smile.

its just me.
since I can truly claim it
I can just smile.

Im happy in happenstance,
the shift of the feet, quickly aligning
to please only me.
I can smile because I see,
the beauty of the beast.
the beauty of you.
like I had sat there with you
for centuries.
like your smell was what I
knew it would be.
like hey here's me…     please
try not to categorize me.
I fall through sieves
and flow with the sea,
with the bits of We then permeate
the pools and the aquifers.
no box deep enough for her.
expansion always necessary.

now its just getting interesting.
your smell got me,
yes,
though I could forget it
easily.
not subconsciously,

there we are One.

Earthly,
here I could forget you
easily. and be free to explore
the outside of entrapment,
of attachment. just be me.
and still love you.

expansion. trust what I see.
patience. just be the real me.
less options now.

I wonder what it would have been like
To live in the suburbs with you.
In the Twin homes, streets lined with high walls.
The quiet neighborhoods,
Behind those doors
Are the stories to be told.  

I wonder how it would have felt like
To walk evening paths, holding your hand.
Steps towards birth.
I envision how your love would have felt.
How the cool night breeze would remind me I was with the right one.

Though somehow these were not our steps.
In my dreams it's a mishap and we
Always get another chance.

and so
the major circle
notches a few degrees
or so more,
and the awareness of new
beginnings implant our hearts.

We awaken with the fears of last night,
the darkest we've felt,
resolved and rested in their beds.
allowed to flow freely with
all that yesterday did.
We embracing the coming days.

the freeze travels on the wind
in some places,
in others the sun shines bright.
these traditions, mostly
focused by sight.

though rebirth is the message of now,
here,
and I hear her stroke through the heavens,
I feel her feet lightly grace
the sky
skipping along her dark path,
always drawn back to the light.
the chance for life,
to expand.

these ways, these days,
it's clear now.
the simplest dance, rebirth and
death.
I, always prepared for the next step.
heart energy charged with the breath, ******* in each particle of air, my lungs,
Fulfilling their breadth,
the capacity for life inside.
exhaling out each dying thing
inside, force out my death.
with the reverse, once again,
embracing my rebirth.

always preparing for the next step,
as the moon prepares to crest.
I stand underneath, exposed.
illumined in it's reflection of self.
prepared in the face of love.

My toddle begins to stride,
Prepared for the necessary curvature of my way.
Likened to a wave, dancing, moving under
The moons glow.
Her slow steady trance. Never ceasing.
My pace adjusts to this one too,
With much new Earth still to form.
Much sand to spew forth, build upon.
I, master of the storms.
Generators breath keeps tickling my throat.
Grasping intently on the edges of
My vocal cords.
The roar is heard aloud.

The time is now, the moments are these,
They prepare me for my victories,
When my hearts beat is fully read,
When these words get out.
Floating around, flitting,  lightly calling
Prompting me to study it's source.

Now, fully aware of our course,
Our intent to be reborn,
The force that moves forward.
I relaxed, I've calmed down.
My fears are much less now,
There's more room to see clear.
The stars finally come out,
WE begin to remember they're always there.
Even behind the clouds, they await forever.

The moon chants along.
Her light skips along my back
Enlightens my waves pattern,
the lighthouse in the dark makes her power matter.
I just relaxing into my groove.
Very sure I trust Her light.

My heart seems to know
Longing for your breath in mine
Your wings wrap my frame

Closeness is waning
Space is creating a change
One, I must embrace

this next section,
these following lessons,
have been my anticipation.
the moments I have been awaiting,
patiently.
the special ones just for me.

they are closer now.
the moments where I rise in love.
the options for the best of me
readily, steadily available to me.
stimulated, solely, through the mind.
tickling my thighs, taunting the nape of my neck
through your time. I love it.
I love our time.

and I feel your vibe traveling from there,
its so similar to mine, I know that these
moments are divine.
our work to recreate the timeline of here, now.
the time in the dirt,
the time with Her.
I know our cycles were preparing to
intertwine, and I can see already
that these will be the moments that
truly inspire me to rise, like my children's
smiles.
those moments where you just feel alive!

like when the energy surges through my body
and the rain feels like its cleansing
my memories as they ride to the front of my mind,
taunting me to live then, again.
in any moment other than now.

though I don't mind,
I know here I belong.
so my attention you have.
I feel your entry into my life and
I want to be near your side.

inspiration erupts!
tasting colors I've never before seen.
sensations of greens, and purples.
the path laid clean.
excited me. and I am thankful.

genuine inspiration erupts from
the muses of time.
pushes out line after line
pushes one to find
the delicacy of their voice.
the steps in the sand.
hand in hand with backs straight

blown over head, mystical.
forced beneath, cyclical.
around and around again.
pace yourself, child.

intuition is soul communication,
whispering so loudly you
feel friction, you know to listen,
or you don't and it keeps telling the truth.

you, are the muse.
a catalyst of bursts of magic
that sent me chasing after it
and found my way back to you.
yet again, the win is always
fought for. losing isn't real anyways…

the day grows lighter,
shadow lifted from my head.
the fog wished to permeate and so it did
until the weather shifts, and inspiration
sparks again.

consistent with my walk,
that beat .. I tap my toe in between lines.
always waiting patiently for the next healing,
the way of me.

the pull to your core riles my attention
the pull is dedicated, though not to you.
your core is what I'm after.
you represent an immature version
of us, I add in my growth and we
continue to develop.

though you are merely a fraction,
we are spread far. the pieces
rile my attention, create a tunnel
that emblazons my affection for myself.
for us all. in each meeting,
I am looking for you.
my thoughts are captured
in the essence of the trueness of everything,
the fragility, the permanence of nothing.
flowing in this interaction, the balance.

it seems life must be short.
my daughter calls me to live long,
I wake each day to embrace another chance
to sit in myself, in this body,
to witness this vantage point.
I get lonely in here, my tribe spread thin.
I know that the energy of
the spread of a galaxy realigns us constantly.
we create the things that communicate to
hear our own memories.
and I am just thankful,
all other emotions lacking substance.

the sensations ripple
so deep
through, within, so deep,
they are for the union.
our sacrifice, our blessed gift.
*******, chocked and tense,
only yet, to fully be free.

women, creative force within.
always stirring...

confidence built on the
external sensations.
internal perturbations
wreak havoc on my focus,
cause recurring memory lose.

One is, regardless.
the ride is intense, heart wrenching,
heart warming, heart healing.
lead with the heart.
drop the defense.
One is, regardless

my love,
you are the one that I hear
the voice that draws me nearer
to my self.
my love, you are the call.

my heart, you know who you are.
you are always open
and prepared to serve your whole.
always searching for the holes,
they bleed into the system and defining lines fade.

my love, you are my core.
you stimulate my blood,
create a path for it to flow,
warping time with your movement.
my love, you clear my vision
and heal my eye.

my love, for you, I do
everything my heart calls me to.
this love I know.
this love beat in my chest back then,
and she still remembers.

my love, remember.
memories linger of our magnetism,
pulling the magnets together.
my love forces the power of intention
She, fully aware of Now.

infinitely aroused, standing side by side.
preparing for the cycles, embrace the dance.
the music of spheres, tuned perfectly
to the infinite,
until finite,
tuned to sing the song.
of the cycle of things… riding the waves
with you, my love, with you
I am possible.

my sounds will penetrate your
skin, soak deep within
and begin a tuning.

my sounds will dig and bury
causing an infection
one that needs no healing
the sound of One.

the sound of love, of creation.
the sounds pound along
the waves, gliding along
the stage of life.
this play,
this sound game.
someone's mental ways.

my sound resonates with
you.
you hear me. you know its true.
we are vibrations
pulling together for the You.
for We, just to be anew.
this love game, creating
for beauty.

the sound a bird can make,
like the perfectly tuned
instrument,
the horn that sound makes.
the steps an ant takes, those whisper
steps.
shuffling quickly, walking the Earth.

sounds make everything, your voice,
the creator.
speak what you want and invite it in.
call in the love.
it awaits our reunion.

I now recognize my youth
she hasn't been gone long
more recently
ending of one
begin a new song
I understand what happened to my mom.

my youthful days were free
in a way they no longer are.
yet freer today still.
motherhood and maturity,
marriage and low energy purging,
self imposed isolation for healing
and not really sleeping
have aged me.

not physically as much
though I see the crows feet
creeping in quietly
they don't bother me
passed through family,
lines my brow can sustain.

these babies remind me of my youth
times of a quieter mind
and a deeper desire to travel.
now all I daydream of is roots.
the underground is astounding.

my locs keep growing
rooted at the crown
I feel the beat pumping out
the essence is vibrating
causing me to giggle
youthful in my soul.

my locs grew up with me
we continue to mature
rooted together, they extending outward
an extension of my being.
tentacles that develop meaning
and develop me.

and with each development
the youthful cloak
gets thinner and lighter
translucence promised
as the days pass by.
this life's lessons heavy handed
on the front end.
pure passion for each message to come
only gratitude and love to my youth
She,
the master of my mind.

first fall
partially, fully aware.
fresh perspective
of ancient rituals,
climactic displays
of change. over time
evolution always take place.

creation is our language, we speak
the perfect union
with paint and song and ***
and it all.
it has TO BE
if it is more than an imaginary predicament.

creation until there is
no space left.

create, create, create

it is our DNA.

the only real constant is change.
even change is changing - creating.

until space is filled up.

then changing again
never to be outdone by itself, excuse me,
ourselves.
I feel it vibrating
1  2  3  4

I burn to know for sure.
faith is all I have.
I wish proof of self was something
rational
to explain away.
I maintain my faith my experiences
created.
I stay away from
(mostly, though some things are so entertaining!)

make believe.

I am a truth seeker!
partially, fully aware
that I'll never quite make it there
yet…there are more
times to come,
vast creation awaiting
its, excuse me,
our
time to play again.

the enormity of time makes me quiver
and I'm just trying to remember
all the rules of us.
I know I have them here
and you have them there.
too many questions to clear
balance out, finalize and submit…
yet I feel it.
I hear it. So,

I re-join Nature's revolution
our only true solution
the reunion of the Earth's
sistren and bredren
unification of this Times kin
brought together to rectify the days lost.
the memories only one side
knows both sides know…
the time to sing the national hymn
Oh come all ye
come and communion again.
wet our vibrations tips and ends
curl up again then
dip right back in.
the only place we will feel comfort.

our children are starving.
the curriculum surrendered to
System.
the days of imagination
and heart tone stimulation
lost.
tuning in after these days is
rough. knowledge and things
get in the way.
self doubt is rough.
though it can be a start.
self examination will always
lead to the heart.
so do a little check up.
the clean up can be rough
but the road is only awaiting you.
these things are
as you are. nothing can escape
our grasp. it is the presence we sense
enveloping our senses.
but only most of us can't believe
in that stuff.
all the magical fluff.

I'm a truth seeker.
I question every thing I can imagine.
yet remained open and now
the magic is obvious.
my self realization is at the level of
rocks, though that's quite a personal accomplishment.
I've only now called myself a poet.

passion in my chest heaves
the cavity.
embraced in a waves crest,
held deeply, love in its simplest.
rest and birth again, empress.
yours the sweetest essence.

lungs with false puncture wounds
ripples of grit run the edges,
simple forms of welcome gestures
of creations path.
create new paths to follow tomorrow
and the days next.
the heaving extends and blossoms
within, sending pulsations
to the tips.

the sensing tentacles grip
the flow always moving through,
cleansing as the defining lines
lose definition.
the false thought conception
of separation making these blurred lines
difficult to see.
energy moves regardless.

shapes, regulates, procreates.
She initiates.
She that changes over time.

She awakens from her slumber
in December… days before winter.
una siesta corta.
perhaps a new normal
arrivals of color and buds
preparing for spring,
bubbling with excitement
perhaps confusion.
more likely a form of
adaptation. perhaps it will take
us longest to adapt.

She awakens to a streaked sky
clouds of new normals
that funnel and vanish
before your very eyes.
causing me to think, I'm losing my vision.
but they actually vanish before your eyes.
I've been watching clouds for
a while now… perhaps a new normal.

She awakens to new smells
senses chemical reactions in the air
that may be confusing her.
or they themselves
are changing her climate.
producing new mixtures,
the chemistry lessons of space.

I wonder what the trees
in the desert are experiencing.
is the Mesquite wrestling
with whether or not
to send that energy to her leaves,
wondering if her dears need her seeds.
I wonder what our friend thinks,
and I see what she wanted me to see.
the energy of the populace
continues to fade
so my sensing keeps improving.

She's waking up here…
I welcome her presence,
always.
this is not a poem
of discontent.
yet a message through my
sense, as it grows,
I just need to get this up off my chest!

more continue to rise.
her call is deafening still for many.
pattern recognition missing from our history.
hearts bleed when death occurs again and again...

though it seems, there is a group of WE
that clearly hear through the visions.
this group, these warriors for the heart
have begun a serious procedure,
a complicated circumcision of fear based
conditions.
this group exists in all generations,
though now is a new day.

the feeling I get when I AM
in the presence of these beasts,
I get a bit flushed.
my mind rushes with thoughts of US
here, with the path to peace so clear.
my body trembles and I want to push in on
these people.
I can feel it in the air.

the air changes, winds shift,
rainbows become more prevalent.
you can feel when ONE arrives.
these warriors extending arms
and heart space.
fine tuning things.
right at our eye.

these are the gifts the light bring.
and the dark has its gifts too.
the truth is the warrior heart is
blue.
darkened with each offense that causes pain.
though suffering is choice and so
this blue tends to be rich with voice
of chosen path.
the conflicts needed to light yet another path,
and the cycles do not stop.

its the fear based choices
the warriors of now are here to expose.
the cycles truths are being unloaded upon us
through the times of today.
much of it is created to keep these
warriors at a slower pace, these light workers
feel the race, now. and are on the way.

the time is now, and always.
I feel it in the air.

Nina
sing a song for me.
**** a tune for me. drum bamboom for me.
Nina, sing to me.
reset with me. 432 for me.
I hear you.

Nina I hear you
singing… your words are
quiet plainly the beauty of the cords
strummed for me. or, at least it seems.

Nina, you are singing to me.
I hear you calling, me.
taunting my harmony,
plucking my keys, you and Jean.
Nina, what is it you see?
What is it I am to see?

the music of things,
I can feel the planets moving.
circling, looping. the air whips
the curve of my lips and stuns me.
it arouses me, induces screams of love.

silently, inwardly, slowly releasing into the vine.
stretching my fingers individually,
stroking the strings,
getting good at things,
Nina sings to me,
and I feel good.

there are feelings inside...
I remember back then,
as a child, and even later.
I remember feeling so alone.

I felt like there was no one that knew me.
my one true friend was the only one
I felt had
begun to know.
my family though, felt strange and cold.
I didn't fit in. They call that the black sheep.
though I am a Pisces, so I know how
to mold.

though within, I felt a sadness.
a longing to live with a passion.
a driving goal.
I am accustomed to detachment,
to nourishing my own soul.
these things come easy.

I remember back then,
back in the days
before I heard the plant talk.
those days I would walk and talk
to myself for miles.
I would sing songs of steps,
count my steps. over and over again.

I still count a lot.

now I also see them.
I see my friends.
surrounding me.
they are still and peaceful
though they remind me that I am
not alone.

this path I proceed down,
this road I have found
is the one for me.
it naturally collides with all of you.
all of you, that I do meet.
each being, each moment of WE
I meet is meant just for me,
at that moment.

since the moment of this clarity
I have watched my loneliness disappear.
it was slow at first.
imagining my bonds must be on foot.
be the mobile type.
and those I hold tight as well.
I love my mobile friends.
though they move with the wind
and the plants are still there.
they share and share and continue to
teach me anew.
they challenge me how a friend should do.
they push me to grow.

they enlighten me.
they hold my hand. this path here is
a **** beast! they nourish me,
allow me to be.

energy flows through the leaves
and I see. so clearly, and I must now share.
the message is there. its in the trees.
the leaves, the way they make things.
we're the same magic as the moon!
soon we will feel more movement
we will notice just a bit different,
we will know we are One.

I get this,
I know this now.
now I reach my arms out to touch them,
to say hi.
to embrace the love that beats from their form.
it courses from their pores.
they feed us. I listen.
this is what nourishment is.

The day has been heavy.
Deciding to release low energy.
The winds came in and swept them away.
Temporarily made it hard to hear my voice.
It continues to tell me,
Go for what you desire.

As a child my home was confusing.
The love taught there was temperamental,
I had to accept love that felt thin.
Now I can embrace the immature love
I was raised in, and it's why I felt
Ready to leave home.
And I am not ready to go back.
I've preferred cultivating my own love,
One based on interdependence.

And nourishment.
This is the love I desire.
I know now this is what relating is,
And nourished sometimes looks thin.
Though I have been working out,
My muscles feel stronger and I am
Ready to try something different.

Today,  I feel a sadness.
I know I must create space.
I know nourishing energy is not here.
Friendships continue naturally,
I love you.
I just need my energy.
This is a lesson, indeed.
And I wish it were different.
Though going forward,
I am committed to the plant message.
My future will be focused around
Embracing our diversity, nourishment
And interdependence.
And that feels best.

The storm seems to have passed.
The winds are dying down,
Fences broken, trees have fallen.
And I just take another step.
Muscles developed.

I've been focused on nutrition
sense before recognition
of a requirement of nutrients
for my life.

I eat for nutrition
I shunned the processed
chemical ick
a lifetime ago it seems
no longer remembering the taste
of chemically created
food stuffs.

though I know if I were to get a taste
it would satisfy my buds
they were made with my buds
in mind
hijacked my senses
lied and lied and lied
told my body it didn't need
nutrition
that is could live off of
intuition
and stuff in boxes
and bags
and cans

I've become my own food processor
now
I have mouths to feed
now I know what to feed
and where they make feed from
so we stick to the grass-fed

I'll teach them how to eat
even before how to read
its just how I see it
once that sugar laden
red
chemical construction
touches their lips
they will instantly desire more
Twain and Fitzgerald
will take them longer to digest.
so these are my priorities
now.
I am a nutrition seeker
a truth seeker
and I believe I come from
a line of healers
all who knew nutrition
is the key to life,
here.
the basic building blocks,
the amino acids
of life,
here.
when you're nourished
it all makes more sense
but stay out of those center aisles
their chemical composition
is too dense
my kidney could no longer clean
the code of food stuffs.

My strong little kidney
I'm so proud of it for
releasing its grip on its twin.
it wasn't for us anyways

Hello friend
the sweetest greeting I've known
hello friend
the word carries
the emotions
we all feel to need to receive
with my time here linked
to the community
they are words I always
need to hear

Hello friend
oh sweet friend
your heart I see
your mother's influence
I feel
and I love her too.

I love her for making you be
for allowing herself to receive
You
and I know this is new
but the confidence
and commitment you have to me
makes hello friend
sound good to my ears
oh yea, there are people
who like Me

throughout the years there haven't been many
or so my eyes see
though in these days of my
Life
I know the relationships
would have blurred my vision
they would have had me
spending my days
talking about what she said
and who she thinks she is??
drinking and falling asleep with a man
that I don't like the smell of
but he put that work in
my body settled
I sit up wishing he would fade
with my feelings of alone

but friend, I don't know why,
and I dare not ask
as I'd rather just embrace what is to be
you somehow awakened me
your message of creativity
(though I know you don't remember actually giving it to me)
answered this question
I've had of me
what do you really have to contribute?

Hello Poetry, once again
as I feel I would say hello to you
for ever…
or at least until my heart says
enough.
I could say hello friend
as you too are committed to me
you stir my juices
in a biodynamic sort of rotation
blowing air in to help the
nutrients
spread out.
over the soil

that's why I'm here
you taught me a new way to say
hello friend
with arms wide open
the embrace on the opposite
not as important
in reality
cause I'm here with My messages
and here to hear yours
we claim to know too much
the wise trees tell us
no child, you are
an observer
still
your depth yet to be fully realized
by yourselves
your roots too
dependent on city water systems
you grow along the ground
interrupting concrete with your
power
power I am working on harnessing
and sharing
cause thats what I do
and my friend, thank you for sharing YOU
too

There's a love song I'm stuck on
It sounds like the wind
It moves so quickly
I get anxious each time it ends.
So I hit replay.

I listen again, I hear the promises.
It's tones are tuned to my ears.
It's near, it pierces my pores.
So clear, the melody of my heart.

I taste the tears as they roll
To my lip. Salty memories of times
I searched for you.
Years of running from the dark and
Always towards the light.
I remember the last one was a man,
And he chased me to your arms.

That fear stayed far behind

And it creeps up from time to time.

It's my kidneys path.
Gone to support the health of my family.
My kin.
You all.
A sacrificial path. The one
To end with.
The final breaths of some ending.
Some beginning.
Some new hand.
Those times call me now.
Bridging these gaps.
Time is moving fast...

My love,  I gasp
At the thought of embracing your hand
Upon my chest.
I tremble as your grace presses into my
Existence. I ask,
Come to me, at last.
Fully enlighten this minds darkest corners.
At last! You have arrived.
As I hear the songbirds sing.
I hear our song, I sing. I rejoice within.
I hit repeat.

our moon
She misses our moans
enclosed behind these walls
She yearns for our souls
our calls
our songs
our passion in love.

She beckons me
with an alluring glare.
barely aware of her
realities.
captured by mystery
She
calls on me.
preparing me.
I the novice star gazer.

She, here with me,
She warns me.
She rallies her team.
She implodes in dreams.
She maintains despite lean.
Her majesty, sprouting new life
only when ready.
and collects and releases the being
for her sisters meeting.
She, recapturing herself.
pure giving and
receiving.

this love I know.
this love the moon proves
Time and
Time again.
She misses the grounds
growl,
the ripple of new life.
spirits pastime
create create create…

born under a balsamic moon.
aware of my call home.
eager to share all of me.
to inject my gift into the realm of now!
honestly a bit weary.
energy being forced out.
supernova type theories.
nearing the end of a cycle,
matter recycled,
She calls me back in.
this time I am even taller.

I return this site to you all. I never wanted to invade this precious space for so many. I will leave my poems up … I cannot believe I have had 10k views…its mind blowing that you can share your creations with so many. I will keep writing. This has been a huge gift for me. I know of the tense realities of this site, I LOVE it the same. Its been my ear, my shoulder during a year of amazing happenings. To the poet Stephen Holcomb, thank you for your words of guidance. I will learn how to stop when its time, one day. ryn, thank you for collaborating with me. I was very inspired… You are a beautiful poet and writer. That was only the first, not the last, creative collab Im a part of… what a special thing to combine that energy. To the women here, write your souls out. There are a couple that are deeply powerful ladies, I can tell. Vicki you instantly come to mind, you write as if in the heavens, as you are. I know you are no novice, I respect your work fully. Sisters keep using your voice. To the young black writers here, please keep writing! The world requires your perspective. To all the poets that read this, really, I enjoyed every poem Ive ever read here, many much more than others :) I have truly, humbly appreciated every single like and smiley face and comment. Each one gave me more confidence to practice this craft that I was born with, yet never exercised. This community helped me rise up from the creative ashes and be reborn. I have grown much here, among these words, these lines. You all know me better than anyone else in my life actually … Except the few friends that check my poems out here. They know that what I write is just my experience…

Id love to do what many of you do here and create a new account and write anew… though I feel my days here are just over. There is something about having this huge audience to write for, when you need to. I think I want to start reading my work though, and sharing it more with my community and I definitely have a book I need to get out. Besides the internet is just so not trustworthy… my brain needs a break from this melancholy madness!

I say all this to just say Thank You all, from the bottom of my heart, for allowing me into this community for the time I needed. I remember when I had 1000 views and I just about lost it! That was a lot of reads of works that had been read by no one else…. Which is why we writers are here… I get it.

Til we read again … LaNita ( which is my real name … I may write on another page website some day, and I will use the same name. If you see me say hi :) Maybe you could put me up on the politics of that site before I dive head in … ;) Peace

yet again,
born amongst confusion.
options
to create tunnel vision that leads to
misguided directions.
leads to the blatant miss of self.
lead to the breakdown of me,
all my philosophies,
my dear.
release choice, abandon the notion
I am somebody.
dissolve the judgement,
my nature knows not
of these vibrations.
my nature, devour these noises.

true beauty from my vantage point
true blessing of motherhood
desires controlled
ego losing its companion.
self, aware of my voice, now.
self, aware of my ecstasy,
of my memories.
calling the end to accepting
new imprints
that signal warning
that perpetuate the climate being warmed
and the matter of past matter
released into space.
free energy to create again and again…
calling and end to my madness.
insanely choosing anything
again and again.
tip toed to free.
now opening to my truest possibilities.
I was always free.

energy has a new burst
bubbling oozing out.
I have no space for their identity.
so I replace it.
so I commit to communication.
so I move forward
peacefully
abandoning all sadness, grief and misery.
I inject my fingers,
high into space.
I learn to play the strings.
I do as I am
and I calm.
perhaps my next birth will be amongst peace.

when she,
asked me about lava,
the picture became so clear.

the stories told here,
all the ways to the truth.
my eye now views things differently.

like, the living being Earth,
She creates through the liquid.
She awaits the pulsing energy
of the sun,
and her blood begins to boil.
overspilling into the waters,
and her womb creates anew.

the blistering heat cooled,
crust instantly forms.
land rises from the core.
She then begins to call seed.
life springs forth,
breathing in this new ground.

She calls more seeds,
more diversity,
more paths to receive,
increased frequency.
the creatures creep, crawl and soar.
they heed her tongue,
knowing She creates all.

from her bleeding, dark womb,
pushing into the light of the moon.
forcing new life into the heavens.

awakening to the view of the seven,
self aware and open, awaiting more.

you see I'm a Pisces
and so pieces of me are
lost at sea.
bobbing in the oceans glee,
swimming with halves of
other Pisces. trying to balance things out.
made with the end of the other
in the mouth.
designed to serve
and move like water.

you see I'm a Pisces
and so parts of me are in you.
naturally, its the last Zodiac,
the finale before, reborn again.
Pieces of me sense the end is near,
the end of the separation, the twin
is to return.
she is to swim upstream and reunify
with other pieces of me, and
reassure me
I am ONE.

pieces of you infect my mind
replay constant stories, mostly lies.
the truths are overly
inspiring, and so I thrive.
I miss you.
I wade in the shallow end.
I know you are preparing for me… and so I wait.

I wait while I move, stillness
only during contemplation.
positive movement is my
dedication, my natural flow.
though my muscles tire too.
especially Pieces of me that
take upstream home,
slow and steady, they moan.
never too impressed by the journey
alone.
tunnel vision, only thinking of her own
time in the currents, just missing
the cycle of things.

yet only able to allow the cycle of things
to take their course,
as they naturally do.

and so pieces of me will wait for you.

its a full moon tonight.
many will watch it in earnest,
wishing upon its light.

enjoying its momentary visit,
the way the evening is lit.
brightly, you see plants different.
the green is seen.

two AM in Europe now.
and they watch the full moons show.
we supposedly see reflections of it,
in the middle of the day,
of the full moon, we are seeing some
reflection "on the other side of the world".
while the glow is admired time zones away.

"its why iii love the moon".
its basic in what it says.
its communication is visual.
things are not as they seem to be,
the magic we are searching is out tonight.

my body pulses as I wait.....
reunion taking place. my energy
bubbles with anticipation.
your touch is soon to be here.
I smell the scent.

A mother
prepared for motherhood
is a rarity
waiting for the
right time
right man
to be what
she was born to be
reproductivity organs
rest within the mothers
womb.

A mother prepared
to continue the race
aware of her permanent
embrace
of her children…
to know a mother
look within
the human desire for
love.
her love is infinite
gut wrenching
consciousness capturing
species supporting
emotions of pure
reward.

A mother prepared for
the time
any time
of her child's life.
out of her mind
shifted to their perspective,
temporarily.
personally stagnated
and yet
developing among the heights of
the Mountain Men.
where is this
civilized woman's women?
men request gurus
mothers are the re-quest
of women.
and men too…
but the commitment is meant
to be shorter.

A mother prepared for motherhood
is a rarity.
her tribe has been
robbed
from around her.
her grandmothers wisdom
is buried
in layers she's not
hip to yet…
then her hips stretch
motherhood calls,
and she reclaims them anyways.
because its her intention.
she's a woman.
in some cultures you're not a mother
until you're a grandmother!
I better understand
old wives tales now…

the massive movement
away from matriarchy sees to be a major
point.
are we prepared to rise up?
rise up our sons
mirror for our daughters
submit to our birthright?

…hey I couldn't live with me mom either.

working definition, society or civilization
in its entirety.
provide an example otherwise
I am open!

power too strong to control
focus is on mind
and time and divide.
the true brilliance of being,
here, ever,
proves its a hoax.

and all of it.
not most or some
but all of it is
needed
to keep this power
beastly energy God
subdued!

the whole packet of
information
is too cryptic.
when one finally recognizes
and reorganizes
with Mother Nature,
simplicity begins the chain.
when I fully reclaim
this will be my nature
my peace
it always has

originally
we are not here
and so
suffering is habit formed.
agony is ego stroked.
tales are told,
sold, or cold, ******
imprinted on our souls.
written on our memory
planes… pains, panes… regardless we remember.
circumcision of the heart and brain
self proclamation
with names and culture,
and all these different languages!
keep us stupid…
brain led and plainly disconnected.
from ourselves, our Earth family
and God.

I never embraced that word.
these days I understand differently.
I see the intelligence in propaganda
and its own beastly energy
and I step aside, lose interest
and breath

they called me here
to this home
to this time.
I listened
I've always been a good listener.
as soon as I learned the
definition
of heed, I began.
it's my favorite word

and so I listened
and we're here
and it all just keeps working.
paying attention to the subtleties ,
the wind breeze,
the crows tease,
the bugs glowing, blue eye…
the crimson show,
the earth moved,
the air beneath this ground,
the vines lasting
stretch to protect the fruit
obviously
grown for us.
never a year before?
I truly wonder still.

when?
now, as he said.
it's now.
I'm only now.

there is nothing to await
though impatience is a mental normalcy.

our friend in the desert
made the connections.
she must have told me
though I don't
remember
hearing her.
I ramble sometimes
and listening is impaired.

of course I'm a work in progress…
it's mostly due to
depending on my memory
its impermanent in its
very nature.

now!
if I lived there, I would
have it a little easier
but I'm still scared of the dark.
one of the remaining fears,
a part of the message
sent;
called me here.
the lessons continue to
self realize
and appear, right
at my eyes,
never before
always on time.
always.

Black the confluence of it all
The combination of beginning
And end
And all in between…
Creating a new with
Diligence
And clarity.

The path to evolution
Pevolution
Moving forward, always black.
Always new from black
Always old to black.

New definitions, none hold
The taste is inconsistent.
Black the beginning,

Black the consistency
Black the legacy, the nutritional
Delicacies.
The tones vibe through the black.

The pure black of time.
The pure black of you.

Skin is an *****, not a definition
It is adaptive to its times.

Black is our insides,
Our child eye.
Black the beginning.

I can't believe all of the things they say about me
Walk in the room they throwing shade left to right
They be like "Ooh, she's serving face!"
And I just tell em, "Cut me up, and get down!"

They call us ***** 'cuz we break all your rules down
And we just came to act a fool, is that all right? (Girl, that's alright)
They be like "Ooh, let them eat cake!"
But we eat wings and throw them bones on the ground!

Am I a freak for dancing 'round? (queen)
Am I a freak for getting down? (queen)
I'm cutting up, don't cut me down
Yeah I wanna be, wanna be Q.U.E.E.N.

Is it peculiar that she twerk in the mirror?
And am I weird to dance alone late at night? (Naw!)
And is it true we're all insane? (Yeah)
And I just tell 'em "No, we ain't" and get down

I heard this life is just a play with no rehearsal
I wonder will this be my final act tonight
And tell me what's the price of fame?
Am I a sinner with my skirt on the ground?

Am I a freak for dancing 'round?
Am I a freak for getting down?
I'm cutting up, don't cut me down
Yeah I wanna be, wanna be Q.U.E.E.N.

Hey, brother, can you save my soul from the devil?
Say is it weird to like the way she wear her tights?
And is it rude to wear my shades?
Am I a freak because I love watching Mary? (Maybe)

Hey, sister, am I good enough for your heaven?
Say will your God accept me in my black and white?
Will he approve the way I'm made?
Or should I reprogram, reprogram and get down?

Am I a freak for dancing 'round?
Am I a freak for getting down?
I'm cutting up, don't cut me down
Yeah I wanna be, wanna be Q.U.E.E.N

Even if it makes others uncomfortable
I will love who I am
Even if it makes other uncomfortable
I will love who I am

Don't shake 'til the break of dawn
Don't mean a thing, so duh
I can't take it no more
Baby, we in tuxedo groove
Pharaohs and E. Badu
Crazy in the black and white
We got the drums so tight
Baby, here comes the freedom song
Too strong we moving on
Baby, this melody
Will show you another way
Been tryin' for far too long
Come home and sing your song
But you gotta testify
Because the ***** don't lie

No, no, the ***** don't lie
Oh no, the ***** don't lie

Yeah
Yeah, Let's flip it
I don't think they understand what I'm trying to say

**I asked a question like this
"Are we a lost generation of our people?
Add us to equations but they'll never make us equal.
She who writes the movie owns the script and the sequel.
So why ain't the stealing of my rights made illegal?
They keep us underground working hard for the greedy,
But when it's time pay they turn around and call us needy.
My crown too heavy like the Queen Nefertiti
Gimme back my pyramid, I'm trying to free Kansas City.

Mixing masterminds like your name Bernie Grundman.
Well I'm gonna keep leading like a young Harriet Tubman
You can take my wings but I'm still goin' fly
And even when you edit me the ***** don't lie
Yeah, keep singing and I'mma keep writing songs
I'm tired of Marvin asking me, "What's Going On?
March to the streets 'cuz I'm willing and I'm able
Categorize me, I defy every label
And while you're selling dope, we're gonna keep selling hope
We rising up now, you gotta deal you gotta cope
Will you be electric sheep?
Electric ladies, will you sleep?
Or will you preach?"

both magnesium and iron
are plentiful in the crust
of the earth.
magnesium in abundance in the sea.
and then it hits me
rationally speaking,
plants were birthed from the ocean
and we from the land,
literally.

the Earth gives birth
to her infinite babes.
life on other planets?
oh most definitely.
planets give birth
as all Mother's do.
Her babes peal away from her
being. Plants from the ocean
with magnesium in their blood.
and we from the dust.
walk the Earth. Plants prepared
the air
so we could walk the Earth.
The Earth and its babes
look the way they do
because of her
presence in the system
she revolves in.
She, we call Mars, her babes
must represent her place in space.
life on other planets will
always look like their
Mother too.

this one is heavy for me too…
and yet it has to be true.
our Mother is no different
than her sisters. Her Mother
a creator. The Heat Source
for her children. Her *****.
circling around her as
my children do me.
rotating endlessly.
until its time has passed too.

all things have a time

and then they explode!
I had to fold before I could break out
but I'm broken now…
no turning back.

Energy games these days.
Synergy claims.
Learn to relay, signals
Impounding on my ears.

Listen closely my dear.
It's all in here. There's just
Nothing to fear.
Tear fully, submit consciously,
Celebrate the oath of life.
Taste the flavors of the Earth.

She is here for us. And all.
And everything.

Questioning may continue
For a short time more.
My desire to know for sure,
Though will out soar,
Will implode the weak,
Low vibrations, Til they barely dim.

Peace is within, the faithful
Chant. I now sing this hymn
My heart has the beat,
And when I watch,
My mind finds the keys,
The steps, the recipe.

Faith is only the beginning...
I must be my best me.
Perfection is reality, no need to strive.
Standing up, Notice the toes on my feet,
Just being me. As I have no other
Choice.
Releasing IDs,
Sculpting energy,
Creating,

Then I remember
Then my vision gets a bit
Blurry, my stomach quivers.
The water begins to flow.
Releasing pressure.

I remember, from younger,
Little person memories.
Ones of free.
I remember, me.
My heart yearns to serve
And share in the beauty
This pure bliss of witness.
All things I see.

Releasing the quest to solve my duality
The virgo piscean. The madness
Constantly challenging the other.
Peace only in wholeness.
Embrace the heart of the servant
And the mind of the intellect.
Standing firm in One.

And as I watched her sway, I too
Heard the groans. Weeks before,
And I just wanted to know
Why...
My heart whispered clear,
Reborn, limbs and loves essence.
Weeks before, I knew the end was near.
All is to transform.
To reunite to its whole.

As the layers shed, seasonally
Revealing anew, thoughts of my
Reunion with you liter my mind.
I assume, each tear I release
Brings me closer to you.
The grace, the reabsorbtion,
The rotation of my time.

In that moment where time disolves,
Where new life crowns.
That point where its me, and God
And I realize I've been home the whole time.
In that moment, I and I become One,
Again. Just a moment, then
I prepare to crown, again.
To root down, in deep,
Down, loaded, tuned.

I will just keep writing
as it opens a door for sharing.
the hearts wanting, the minds
constant watch. protecting the heart song.
she's too loud,

explode forced air, that stare
the contact within.
she bares the scalp,
get some circulation up there.
prepare for the next round.
the pour down,
fulfillment found. the cups abundance

minds found, ground covered
though miles abound.
my hearts call loud, and the times
are being seen through ancient eyes.
the lies all fall apart as One is realized.
sacrificed, white flag flying type. submittal
to my self.
trust my sight, it stretches the net
and captures just outside the entangled mess.
like fishing the sea
trying to capture those pieces of me,
as they flow out

and infect.

and if the best of me wasn't what I give,
if I didn't need to feel this to live,
I would sulk within and wish my self home.
since young these days have been confusing
always right outside the embrace of love.

experience is the basic instant
yet we are not it.
mine have been hell bent on pressing intention.
like theres just no other way to it.
the explicitness of my days, of my pain.
I AM just outperformed it.
so basic, and my pain only prepared me
for it. Oh I give thanks to bear witness.

to the darkness, and the light it births
religious.

The essence of patience
The patience of light
The travel it takes, knowing
It must last for eternity,
Beaming forward, granting anew.

Patience the virtue.
The status to achieve, allowing now
So that next can just be, as it will.
The patience to leap.
Courage carries patience clear,
Fears weight sinking below.

Patience for death, for one again.
The longing for You, to know us again.
Patience to see clearly, open my heart
To now.
Moments always planned out.
Patience for the ******.

Patience for the touch of your skin,
The relation of kin, of natural senses.
Of the things that flow, easy.
Of titillating tickling of the, everything.
Your smell will bring me in.
I know it well… the musk of Earth
Wrapped in the forest, deep dug in my gut.

Dug down patiently to prepare my ground
To rise my crown, patient now
As maturation continues to take place.
Dug down, spine curled out
Back arched, heart opened…

Patient, awaiting your trail

My tribe hunts and gathers,
We know we need each other,
And so we hunt, and we create
And we locate…patience for
The revolution taking place…
Cyclical naturals, cycles of nature.
Back to the Earth we all go.
All things have a cycle.

for the darkest days
I will inhale and prepare.
I will kneel down.
shivering, ready to learn.

for the darkest days
I will ride the waves.
I will allow my board to coast.
motion sickness, always close.

the darkest days are upon us,
up here,
we hold tight towards the
******.
some plants rest,
others prepare to seed
or feed.
spring greens being
nutritionally keen,
proving
global hunger is make believe.
dandelions grow when
the reserves usually sour.
or right through the winter.
always on time, either.

through theses hours
I tap in, hit send and
the download begins… … …
patient now,

our world goes on

in each battle, fought and won
or loss,
in each birth or death of one loved
there rests a moment to grieve.
to feel sadness for that which
was lost.

though the world always goes on.

living in awareness
sitting in gratitude for
each action upon us.
each opportunity to create
a better world, for us.
the real change is in
being accountable.

hate is hate. whether its for your self
or another.
whether it is for a team or a lover,
it does not matter. the energy is tuned
alike.
this energy is stored for some source to
light,
and light it they do.
right back in front of you to keep
the cycles strong.

for how long will we be left sitting in the dark...?
lights are sparking.
beacons are being turned on.
you must rise within your self
to see any change happen.
we must learn to live
righteously.

and Im not talking religiously
I AM righteously covering
our responsibility.
the action is due to you.
YOU need your own energy
to create what your heart is here to see,
what the voice within calls you to be.
that person will start the waves meant to surf.

as those waves just maintain
and instances of pain are given attention
and the light is ignored,
and the light is diminished,
and the light is covered with full body cloaks.
the movements do not stop
and many get sick.

wellness must have its opposite.
so it is not 100 percent...

though You, You can do it.
you can release the tense fists
and submit to what is.
WE got this... let's influence the world
with righteousness,
and unconditional love.
its the other side of the coin.

Ive never questioned my sexuality
though I am falling in love with you,
deeply, and it makes me think about things.
it makes me ponder what feminine is.
masculine too. how is it you
totally satisfy in the moments your in.

those stalls of time, positioned
in between great tragedy and better wins.
these blissful moments where I see you.
your voice I feel on the wind.
your beauty exploding from within,
your selfless nature experienced.
your womb noticed beneath my feet,
allowing me to fly and stand firm.

I fall deeper into you,
down through each burrow built.
each cavern cleared, I desire to be within.
rebirth again, as the seeds take flight.
blown over water, and land,
traveling farther than expected.
roots extend, and feelers test the environment.
searching for life's environment.
the moments where electric can manifest,
where sound can express,
where her breath can be released
and a new burst of pure divinity
can come forth.
the life slowly emerges,
carefully and confidently trusting its
early presence, knowing
it is time.

the fire hovers the ground,
breaking barriers, singe the air.
currents sparked, quiet steps.
ones unknown.
uncommon moments to be born.
though the minutes tick forward,
and the time is here.

it is quiet now.

when you reach out for me,
you grab my attention.
you let me know it is real.
those moments of clear.
purely cleared. where the fingertips
come in the form of pictures my brain
cannot ignore.
these pictures are attached to feelings of One,
and I hold onto these moments.

I think of them, under the vast blue sky.
how the mountains moved with me.
how the freedom felt in front of me,
beside me, behind me. I was free to roam.
free to chose which way, again.
those moments, these were the ones
I would reload.
it is quiet out there.

once, in the middle of no where,
there was a storm.
the lightening struck down all around,
my fists clenched the wheel.
the desire to go home was pulsing
through my knuckles.
I only moved forward.

once, in the middle of the winter,
there was a storm,
the snow blowed and the road
was inches thick in ice.
my fists clenched the wheel,
I felt free to live.
I knew life would meet me on the other side.
I drove slow, and allowed the embrace.

this gypsy soul knows no home.
its the road, the path of my feet.
the beat is kept by the breeze and the free.
to explore this space might be home.
the searching for the next new moment.
learning its tone, then on to the next.
leaving bits behind.

its so quiet, the silence might be home.
I would moan into the quiet,
piercing its peace.
low, slow rolls of me.
these are the points where creation speaks.
in these quiet, lonely places.
the voice comes out on the wind.
my heart breaks free, quietly.

and again,
the blue above guides me,
I listen and fall in love over and over and over...

science is the study
that fragments nature and my mind.
it was the inevitable
parting of ways.
as my son chose me and lit the more
delicate traces
so I could trace back.
Sankofa.

it's theories must be
erased from my senses.
so intwined in my perspective.
my people carry me through the mess.
to the other side, where really
it all makes sense.
once, I questioned
everything.
all the holes science creates
by the hands of its very nature.

equations are written in our souls.
not the miracle revelations of
science.
but the simple observations of
time.
disconnected from our land
we too get broken down.

our nature is to build
create, create, create
once our nature is reaffirmed,
within,
we begin to recognize our creations.
realize our manifestations.
our power.
our God-like structure.
it's happening all over.
our intelligence as a species
is aligning with our wisdom.
the heart naturally awakens
along with inner vision
followed by revolution!
the origin, here, now.
not always black or white …
more like somewhere in between.

There's a temptation I wrestle with,
Each and every day.
A tickle in my side, sometimes in my eye.
I desire to confess my truth.
Like how I see there's no stopping our truths,
There's nothing we can do.
Our power rests in the movement of the clouds,
And the Earth's too.
We act within Her play.
Maintaining our groove,
She handling her own business.

They move, across the Earth,
Dropping water wherever they do.
Nourishing the life that will not perish.

There's nothing to lose,
Except your power to chose
Which will be expressed.
Align with your best, answer your hearts call.
We will rest when we are done.
Our future selves insist,
As the light pierces through the veil.

Press upon your sphere,
The clouds will not stand still.
They will continue our cycles here.
Focus on the whispers,
Learn to trust those.
We, the saviors of our self.

I am, and then
my placement at birth.
and then the imprint upon my steps here.
the environment of my first breath,
this latest rebirth. it set, absorbed
all the energy of the sky at that moment.
in those few ticks,
I pierced through the waters into the heavens.
I rise, and the stars took hold.

mercury rests in pisces,
the home of free speech.
here I swim with other bits of me.
dreamy and wandering.
visions of clarity, clearly in my feelings.
exploring through my senses,
she catches the drift downstream,

embracing the sun, whom also lives
in pisces. here a free bird,
flying high among the trees,
and taller still.
inner knowing is to live for others,
needing to know I've done all I could.
needing to know why I breath,
why I see,
hearing the responses through the dream.
the messages come from within.

the aquarian moon, I feel
connects me with the the new school.
the future tense, the push through.
how the next generation sees.
and I can tend to be aloof,
leary of claiming low vibing energies.
feeling capable of overcoming these.
truly seeing in the dark,
with the water bearer sharing the stage
with the balsamic moon,
and the birth as the sun shifts to the
other horizon,
this dark truth,
enlightens my core,
allows peace to come through,
and I fight for it.

I fight for you,
mars in aries has taught me to act
then choose. this aspect of me
I'd rather lose, I used to despise.
I embrace her too now, though she's
a lioness prepared to protect her cubs.
when she's turned on, I run,
the piscean nervous for whats next.
my youthful passion takes precedence
and even I recommend calling off all bets.
the next steps will be a let off of stream.

as the passionate me, the venus
placement also shares the energy of aries.
the intense lover of all things.
the beginner of new things.
the young hearted lover coming alive
in the heat of the new.
she has brought me though many lessons
I needed.
I trust her steps, too. though I tame this beast.
I coax her to a simmer, barely a boil.
though she's only patient.
the fire will explode.

I give thanks to my virgo rising,
she will always come and clean it up.
never afraid of a little dirt.
a little analytical processing of stuff.
she will help my healers heart
grow up.
she holds me accountable.
checking my choices, making me a bit nervous.
I calm her now some, though
she can take over in an instant.
scanning for more info.

I am scanning for more,
wondering who made me.
how these bits and pieces came together
to create my steps.
to mold my challenges,
to shape my lessons.
there is an answer.
I believe its on the other side of the stars.
I'll never stop searching.

Some inner me...
You see this self value thing
Is absurd for this pisces.
It's based on the ego.
Since I was quite young i knew
All was the same.
My heart felt the same
For most I met.
There are a few who's energy
Instantly sets a tone.
Though, even then I see the gold.

It's because my soul knows
And communicates with me
That only loving me, is lunacy.
I am of a whole.
Love must be unconditionally.
Universally, regardless of what unfolds.
I must love you regardless...

That means no harsh words,
I apologize for those.
They exploded from my core,
That pitch black gut forced out
Low vibing soul.
Though I also felt these things were true...

Coming back around,
This whole thing is true.
We are pieces of one.
To focus on self love is blinding.
Overly valuing my talents
Holds little weight for me.
I know I am one of many.
Of us all.
I have faith each one can do
As anyone else can.
I have faith in all of you,
And me too. We progress.

I do undervalue this piece of WE though,
I have to.
Most cannot see this clearly
And find it a weakness.
Though its my path.
My victories will be for the masses.
For all I can touch with my energy.
I will maintain an infection of
Unconditional love for as long as my
Breath lulls. That sweet beat.

I love me. Just not more than you.
And I am thankful to see clear.
This is where you find my self love.