k

the stars feel as dark
as the empty space around them
because they don't light up
quite like the moon

words could never capture me
*i'm a ******* mystery

i never cried like this before
my heart slamming against against my sanities door
no more
you
i cried so hard
my eyes were sore
when i thought you left
and slammed the door

my tears were on the floor
while i was trying to get god to help
send a messege through his doors
the only thing i said was
"God please help her"

when i thought you were gone
i wrote a song
saying exacly what was going on

though i didn't know the full story
i still thought i could help

but then you came back

this is my first time
witnessing a miracal

i know you
i don't know all of you
but i'm there
i'm not the only person in the world who cares
i feel
jesus came to earth
for a moment
just to tell you what you're doing
because the divil was nipping at your heels
because your whole life
you never knew how sanity feels

you keep saying you don't hate yourself
but you know you're suicidal
you can't break down
because you're an idol

you've never been a kid
because you had to take care of them
but it was too much
and all that work
builds up within

you are a fallen angle
and you hit a few clouds on the way down
and you beat yourself out of heaven
so you cut yourself
a frown

because outside
your an insperation
but inside
you feel worthless
but please
stop apologizing
because nobody is perfect

so you need to practice what you preach
pray about your defeat
remember jesus was weakened
so we don't have to be weak

so yes
my friend goes through a lot
and she is silenced by her walk
of shame
looking all happy outside
but she thinks she's the one to blame

but this earth would not be the same
without her wrongs
and rights
so please
don't do God's job
and take your own life

because i love you
my life would be there with you in your grave
i wouldn't be at your funeral
i'd be thinking for our glory days
such as

justin does
stoner face
i like your bike
can i ride you?

i'd remember all these things
and everyday
i would remind you

to to go on a million google docs
all saying i love you

but then start crying
when i realized i didn't love you enough
i didn't talk to you enough
i wasn't there enough
when you were thinking of suicide
i was asleep
and now i'll never sleep again
knowing
somewhere
your lonly enough
to think the thoughts withen
i will cry
my friend
but never say goodbye my friend
i will write
"justin does"
**until you reply my friend

i'm sorry
i didn't mean to
i know i promised
but you locked me outside of the door

but the knife
was so welcoming
when you locked me out
it invited me in

it was cold out there
and the knife had a welcome mat

I don't write about love as much as I want to
One thing about me
I don't sing about things that I can't do
I'm human
I know a million reasons to live under the sun
It's a heartbeat
And everybody has one

Never to be seen
Never to be heard
I'll do what you want
But I'm not a caged bird
Not aloud to speak
At least not with my words
I'll let you hear me cry
Even when my chains hurt

she hid under the scars on her skin
long sleeve summers, no one saw her walls cave in
her eyes aren't windows they are warnings
between you and her, there's a wall of what she want you to see
and you’re the first to know
she not alright
blinded by the sight of a perfect girl
the writings on the wall
are in her eyes
and everyday she hopes that you will find her in time

because she's
locked in

she's running out of time
running out of time

but she
hear's them

telling her she's done enough
but don't let her give up
because she

told you everything was alright
you let it go, knowing she's already in the devils sight
don't just let her drift away
say what you need to say and
find a way
cuz you're the first to see
her loving eyes
falling into a world of death and life
and you're the first to kiss
her hateful lips
right after the father who has left her in a ditch

because she's
broken

waiting for the day
that you let her
let it end

but you heart is
stolen

so you take the knife away and say
"i'll take the torture away from you baby
and all you gotta do is love me

we'll pick up the pieces in time
for you to be
with me as my loving bride"

and in her glowing eyes
that day
she said i'll stay
forever and always

and as they said all their " i do's"
she said i have a word or to
for you

"all the stars shined
brighter than the nights i had without you
though i'm still trying
i know by the end of time i'll have the pieces back
and i'll be able to say goodnight
without going back to those nights
without you

you were the first to know
i had a light
the love my father never gave was right there in your sight
and i'm the first to kiss
your loving lips
after all we've been through
i know we'll be the A team
in our time

*and this little light of mine
will shine

sometimes it takes
giving up your right to speech
to settle an argument
so i'll the alone in my mind
while others think i'm ok
to stay in the circal of people who can help me
though no one can help me on my very grave
but sometimes you need to be alone
to stay

just like a statue
i stand
waiting for your command

just like the wind
i dance
waiting for you to glance over
so i know
i have your permission to go

there is nothing you tell me
that i haven't seen

there is not one wall
that you show me
where i have not yet
leaned

my eyes are so experienced
the world will never be clean

so just like the wind
i dance
just like the sun
i glow
just like the darkness
i scream

**i'm too jaded to know where to go

i went to a wake
but it was more
i looked at that open casket
and saw a memory of joy
and more
in the audience
at least 100 people
to remember this woman
everybody had something to say about her
everything was positive
and i truly believe

*we saw her up to heaven

give me my heart back
i’m desperate to feel
desperate to be something more than a mask
i’m out on my own
and you think you know but at last
i’m accepting i’m a monster
but when the heroes are gone
i’ll put on my good guy armor.

you won't except me into your world
i'm forced to be nothing but
the bad guy in a book

would you be able to comprehend
if i saved you yet again
*what if the hero is a monster?

the only thing that makes sense in this world
is that i am not a person

why else would i not have freedom of speech
why else would my rights be subjected
why else would you close your ears when i talk

the only thing that gives me peace at night
is knowing i will some day be like you

but until then
i am not human
i am not a person
*i am a child

you forgot who you were
didn't know where to go
your friends have seen it all
i know you think you're alone
they just forgot to call

you were jaded
but you made it
through another ****** hall
another secret
you have to keep it
but your knife has seen it all

you lost everything you had
a shaky bridge
no one can cross it
at all
i know you think you're alone
but you have seen it all

and though you think that jumping
is a way to end your wrong
the drivers have seen it
God has seen it
and the bridge has seen it all