You cut open trees
For the broken rings
To determan age
Did you ever stop to think the rings are self inflicted?
That age has nothing to do with it?

My room has become a hell hole
A playground for the demons that nobody thinks exist
But I see them

Have you ever looked a demon in the eye?
It makes you see life differently

My room has become a loony bin
My bed
A straight jacket
Entitling me to break
I'm entitled to my broken bones

My room is a place for monsters
Ghosts aren't even on the A-list

Thoughts
Feelings
Words
Action
Lack thereof
Love
Hate
Cracked
Broken
Sadness
Pain
Happiness
Joy
Lastl­y
Poetry consists of tears

I'm becoming the person I was afraid I would be
The the evil inside that always scared me
I'm becoming the person I hated all my life
But i don't wanna keep hating me
And I know you don't think its a horrible thing
But you don't see it from the thoughts I hate myself for thinking
The walk i walk isnt very
Becoming

I learned that
When you wish upon a broken dream
You become your very nightmare
And nobody is there
Nobody is ever there
Nobody will ever be there

This is how it has to be?
Do I hold on?
Do I give up?
Do I hate me for who I am?

Do I pray it away?
Or rip it out with my own hand?

i'm the girl who tares herself apart
because she tries to find something she's missing

i'm the girl who is scared of her own mind
because i don't know how to control it

i'm the girl who used to cry herself to sleep
because i didn't know how to be "good enough"

i'm the girl who has a secret that will change everything

i'm the girl who gets stronger every fall

i'm the girl who makes jokes about things i really don't think are funny

i'm the girl who doesn't know what love feels like
but can give it to whoever needs it

i'm the girl who's more than an age

i'm more then what you think of me

it's so dark
and i'm the only one with wings to fly

is this art?
or is it just another lie?

the silence screams the truth
but the darkness screams the lies
and it's so loud in here
there's a crowed in here

the silence screams the truth
*the darkness screams the lies

i meet your high expectations  
just so you can remember my face
*but now what?

i walk onto nothing
and make a bridge
**but it's burning behind me

If you had 1 hour to change the world
Would you rather fail
Or die in the process?

something is gonna happen in nine hours?
why did God just tell me that?

i break
i break
i fill the glass with taste
i cry
i plead
there's never enough of me
i try
i try
i never succeed
i break
i bleed
i cry
i plead
i want for nothing
but to let you see

but i'm trapped
i'm trapped
in a misery of questions
sit down kids
time for another lesson

today is about glass
like my life
but my life was slammed on the floor
with
my innocence
my mind
my tears
my father
my father
why am i such a bother
my mother
my mother
why don't you believe what i said about my brother?

i lie
i steal
i want
i kneel
i lay
in broken glass
waiting for what i was supposed to do at last

i hold
i fold
i sleep
wait no
i dream
i hurt
i don't remember what i blurt

i wish upon my broken mind
singing a song of leftover tears
going through memory lane
as you take me back to all my fears

i remember this?
did it not happen?
**that's my fault

holding back the tears i tried to shed before
1 step 2 step 3 step 4
falling back because there's more
trying to tell you what i've been thinking about
all this time
all this time
but i'm stalling
stalling
     s
      t
       a
        l
         l
          i
           n
             g
                s
                  t
                    a
                      l
                       l
                        i
                         n
                           g
i don't want it to ask the question
the question
the question
                     q
                       u
                         e
                           s
                             t
                               i
                                o
                                  n

i have to wait
wait
                                                 w
                                                   a
                                                     i
                                                       t

i never wanted it to be this way
but i have to stall to save the day
and while you waste your time
reading this little piece of mine
i can't bring myself to ask
why i haven't brought up my task

if i decided to let you break
how fast would you leave me?
if i told you not to
how fast would you hate me?
if i gave you a choice
would you choose to have a choice
or would you choose to try to explain to God
why you wouldn't let him help you?

and expect him to make an exception
because you had a bad life
and i would see you in my dreams
because i gave you permission
but i won't give you permission
to hate God
or permission
to love death
or permission
to fly into a house

if you died
we would all remember you
but too many great people
don't make it on the newspaper
because kim kardashian decided to name her kid
north west

is your hatred for me
worth saving you?

sometimes it's easier to be still
but when is it time to move?

Should I tell you that you can fall
just so we both can rest underneath it all?
Should the ice overtake us?
when we jump from cloud to cloud
running out
falling down
just to bruise and come back now

should you die to know that i could have saved you anyway'
or should i go on with the plan that i have known since that day
and i know the demons won't take you away
but i don't know what God wants me to say

grace?
but a memory on the shadow of my face.
hate?
but an action that i would love to chase, but it’s impossible
now i have to lie at the cost of my sanity
i thought you were there for me

speechless
what do you want me to say next
i hear it
but no one seems to hear it but me
my heart is open but you don’t seem to see it beat?
is it too late to go back and change what i did
*so you can believe the words i speak?

I'm insane

To me you're a rose
With the steam of a single thorn
And you can't just leave me alone to morn

Because the only part of you I wanted to touch made me bleed
And as I watch the bush you get lost in
You're the only flower I see
With your single thorn
To this day
I morn
Because that thorn is a part of me

Because insanity
Is doing the same thing
Expecting different results
And everytime I bleed
**I expect it to be green

experience isn't the best teacher
God is

i broke every wall in my life
except the one that matters
so people can see i'm afraid to be seen

i'm mean so people can see i'm nice enough to do everything
i'm whole on the outside
to remind people there's nothing left within
(but you're not the source of my pain)

i hide
so people can come out of hiding

i don't fight
so people know
if i go down
i go down fighting

i hurt
just so i can stop the hurting
but the pain i talk about isn't yours

my bones are weak
because i give my strength to all the other people
my brain is fried
because my only knowledge of my country is evil

i break
so other peoples hearts i can mend
i would fall on my knees to pick my family up again
i would cut myself
just so my best friend would stop cutting but it doesn't work that way

i will never give up on a world i still hold in my heart
i will never begin to let a piece fall apart
and no i'm not 12 anymore
even though my birth certificate says so

and yes i act like i know better
simply because i do
even though the things i know about
i never have gone through
experience isn't the best teacher

and maybe i do hate myself
doesn't mean i'm suicidal
i just work to be better
and maybe one day i can be

i don't know why i talk about myself
so don't ask (lol)

and even though this poem is long i have so much to say
*but it doesn't really matter

evil
Is the absence of God
death*
is the absence of life
Lies
Are the absence of truth
you
Are the absence of trust in what I can do
you
Don't believe though I've proven it true
that I
Do what only God gives me strength to do
Even though in your eyes
That is an excuse
so no
It's not hurting me to be there for you
Because in my mind that's what friends do
and yes
Darkness is the absence of light
*but sometimes light is hidden in plain sight

my home
my golden heart is stolen
give me hope
the voices growing

take the pain
and **** me softly
talk to me as if i am nothing
because that's what i love about you father

leave me to die alone in a home where i am prisoner

did it hurt when i fell from heaven?
you and i both know
people like me
work our way from hell

dear josh
noble in all your words
i hope one day
your prayers will be heard
but alas
there is no body on earth
that will ever mean as much
as your kind words
if we meet again
it should not be with someone else's skin
so i bid you adue
until the night comes to an end

My lady
can i saw i have loved watching you sleep for those nights
i have always wanted to wake you
just to say goodnight
but alas
this body is not mine
you will not love me
for i am
not real
the only thing that feels real about me
is the feelings i feel
when i am around you
so hush
don't worry
it will be fine
i love you forever
until the end of time

that is fair my lady
that is fair
now i am off to hell
see you all
after the war starts
and ends
leaving only blood shed
and to my fair lady
i will love you
even past the end
as my old friend said
forever
and always

i need to change something about my communication
my friends think i'm mad at them

i used to be in love
in love with you
you changed my heart
and then hit the bottom
we talked all night
we planned our lives
you changed me
i lived you

i never knew that i could love someone
as much as i loved you
i never thought you would leave
by letting yourself
walk into the street

i never got to say i love you
after you said it to me
i never got to be free
with you
the other half of me

you left your signature on my heart
now i have to restart
and the tattoos when we held hands
no longer say "forever and always"
it just says
"forever"

like you

they say the anti Christ would com
and nobody would know where from
they say nobody would know
him
he would claim peace
and still be destructive
maybe i'm the anti Christ
i claim peace
but i'm still destructive
*and nobody knows me

what if she tipped over
would you still say you loved her
what if every time you looked her in the eye she cried
if you saw the real her with the scars on her thighs
would it make a difference if you tried
to look her in the eyes?

how much wood could a wood chuck chuck
if all the odds were against him?

i used to hate myself
but i realized how selfish that was
i know what it feels like to have nothing
but have everything
everything but electricity
so my family doesn't have lights
but we keep the 40 or so inch t.v

i go to church
and feel unworthy
i don't know why people like me
i just realized
i beg for attention

even now
talking about me
it's getting kind of tiring

i want to make a difference
but the one thing that stops me
the fact that everybody seems to watch me
the spotlight seems to make me a living target
even my friend started to make fun of me
because of the solos people give me
and it's not my fault
if i could choose
i would only sing at fundraisers
so i'm not getting credit
but i'm not gonna feel bad for my responsibility
so get over it
people expect less of me then i can give
or more than i can offer
so maybe there's a balance

yes i hate the spotlight
no nobody knows
not even my friends or family
know how hi my vocal range goes
because thats not the point

and i know only like 10 people will see this
but i don't wanna seem like this is for the saying
"God bless"

what's the difference between you and a ghost?

If a tree fell in a forest and nobody was ariund to hear it would it cry? Why?

would you rather reach for the moon and succeed, or give a star to someone whose lost hope in them?

Would the ability to fly keep you from the ground?

beauty is in the faith
faith in failure of darkness