Sometimes the simplest of touches
Holding hands
Small hugs
Thoughtful leans
Can mean the most to Somone

It's funny..
The things I think will be fun
Turn out to be okay,
But they all let me down
In some sort of way

Sometimes I slip back into reality,
And get a glimpse of it.
Then the wave of daydreams
And fantasies pulls me back under
Never knowing when I'll be back up
For air

Beautiful.
I can only think of one person
That walks this earth
That fits my description

hold up a second,
My mind is stuck on one thought,
And it has been the last week
But i don't feel like writing about it,
*I would write for days.

Maybe love was never meant for me.
Maybe love can't find me
Love died in a plane crash,
Trying to reach me when I fell for people
So love never happened.
I visit loves grave sometimes
Those old crushes, where love never made it
I hope loves flight is not crashed
I hope it's just delayed

I want to write something extremely personal
But then again that's a terrible idea.

Okay so maybe I had a crush on you
Maybe I kinda liked you
Maybe I saw you and
I dreamt of you
And you made me smile
I guess I still haven't gotten over you?
I kind of have to,
And not besides the obvious reasons,
But because you like someone else
I guess I just admitted it to myself

Let's run away together

I sound so dark.
But everyone has dark days.
Days where they could punch a wall.

Leave me alone! Alone alone alone alone. Alonley. Lonely lonely.

*lonely

Love love love love.

Be happy, happy happy.

I'll smile if you smile. Smile.

God God God God.
JESUS JESUS JESUS

Peace. Shhhh. Quiet. Peace.

People.

Friends.



Happy.

The mountains stand strong and mighty
The tall majestic foundations of life
They hold so much,  towering high and beautiful
However they are silent.
Then there are volcanoes
They tower like mountains,
They are mountains
But, they flaunt their power
They spew lava, and grumble loudly
Mountains have acquired the virtue of humility
One of the most important virtues Christ teaches
They are humble but you still get their point
I do my best to get my point across,
But I strive to get it across in a certain way,
Unlike volcanoes, Like a mountain.

Dear people in hard times:
I know your situation is unique
And there are people willing to listen
But the one person willing to listen,
Wanting to love you more than anyone else
Has appointments available anytime, day, or hour
So stop by and have a talk with Him
I forgot to mention He's omnipresent!
So you can talk to Him anytime
In bed, in school, anywhere!
And He's great for a talk or prayer,
Because all he wants is to be your friend
So take this wonderful opportunity
Talk to God today!
He will lift the burden off your shoulders
If you love and believe in Him,
You will get a free life-everlasting!
Don't miss this offer!
He definitely doesn't want you to

During theology yesterday
I know You spoke to me
And me personally
I know I want to be just like a saint
But I'm not Catholic.
And Saint is a Catholic term
So I'm just going to be the best image of you I can be
I'll be a Saint in my terms
You are telling me to go out and help
Go and spread the Word and tell everyone about You!
And I know this is true because I get excited every time
I am so pumped for You!
I just want to worship You all day!
I want to go on mission trips and spread the news!
Guess what? Eternal life is a thing! It's for real!
Get pumped! You're going Heaven!

Your curls hang in strands on your face like bangs
Your hair is a little bunch of golden brown curls'
Your features are pointy and thin,
Like the way your lips are thin and pointed
Or your thin pointy nose
And your smile. Wow. Every time I see it,
My heart flutters and I get really happy.
You make me happy and I've never met you
We've met in my mind plenty of times
Its funny how when I first saw you I loved you
I just knew. My heart and mind just knew.
Thats crazy. Maybe there is love at first sight?
But its not that kind of love.
Its different. I see you and I don't want to bang you.
I just smile and get excited.
Love is present in so many ways.
And I like the way my love for you makes me feel

Is anyone else in love with thunderstorms?
Does anyone else like the gentle drips before it begins,
Like finger tips softly touching your skin
Or the low rumbles before it starts
And the dark sky low and full
The rain comes, soft or hard, streams of water falling
Puddles forming, all other noises seem to disappear
It has captured your full attention
Now you see a quick flash of lightening
You count the seconds under your breath
one Mississippi  two Mississippi  three Mississippi
Crash! or maybe its a Boom!
All different noises. Never the same.
My heart races every time I hear the low rumble
Or the pitter patter of rain

Can we go on an adventure?
Who's the one to hold my hand
Who's the one to take me on surprise trips,
Not just to the beach, but to South Africa
And watch the lions growl and play
Or what about someone who is close to God
Someone who will go on a mission trip with me,
Someone who isn't afraid to spread our faith
Who's going to sit on the porch in rocking chairs,
When its raining. And just talk.
Who's going skydiving with me
Or how about surfing? Snowboarding?
Who will have a sense of adventure
A sense to do something before its too late
Well in a few years
Im boarding a plane.
Who will come live with me?

I want to do everything.
I want to be adventurous.
I am a risk taker.
I am an ENFP.
I want to skydive.
I want to shark dive.
I want to climb mountains,
Explore caves.
Sleep on a beach:
Under a blanket of stars.
I want to go on a mission trip
I want to help so many.
I feel like every day as a 'kid'
Is a day I could have taken
In my life to do what I love.
There's only so much time.
And it's true life is short
And I hate waiting for the moment
I can hop on a plane
And begin my *adventure

I watch as the people I once knew
Become the people I don't know anymore
I miss them a so much
Growing up is amazing and depressing
That girl who was always happy is now sad
That girl who was so innocent is now ruined
That girl who was cracking jokes fell silent

That leads me to wonder. Did I change too?
Do others notice a small silent change in me?

Waking in the cool sand.
Tide coming in.
Moonlight and emptiness.
No not emptiness.
Life is everywhere you just can't see it
Sharks are feeding.
Stars are burning
Fish are hiding.
Waves crashing on the shore.
I Lay alone. My friends are somewhere else
I lay in the cool, powdery sand.
Soft and caressing.
I look at the stars and sing amazing grace softly
Without notice my eyes tear up.
I think of Pepaw.
God took you this Easter.
I think if what you stood for.
I think of Jesus.
More tears.
I think of my faults. My sins.
I realize I am strong.
Independent. Though I yearn for love I can wait.
I Can be happy with my flaws and body.
No more insecurities.
I never felt so free.
I am a changed person.
And soon everyone will See.

'Oh don't worry about him, he met a girl'
Eye twitches. Smile fades. Heart falls.
He Met a girl.
Oh I'm so happy for him I press send
I'm so happy he found someone.
Finally met THAT girl. Whoever she is.
It sure as hell wasn't me
I'm not a ******* option.
You never thought of me,
Who has liked you for months now
You thought of her. Whoever she is.
Well I'm glad you can lie in texts.
Wait, I'm glad you can lie in life.
'Aww you two are great together'
I wish she  was me.
I wish that special person was me.
But it wasn't.
okay, well nite presses send.

I would be in love with so many people,
I they weren't already in relationships or
If I thought they would love me back
Some would freak out and not be my friend
Others are already taken, and they are so happy
While I'm sitting here dreaming of fantasy love
Waiting for someone new to show up,
Because I'm tired of the people already here
I know their personalities, and if I'm not in love now,
Chances are I won't be in the future
So someone new show up in my life
Please light a spark in the embers of my heart

Stripes lined your body
Blood poured out of You
Crown of Thorns
Whips of metal
Nails of steel
Pain beyond belief
I can't express my relief
You took my lashes
You took my cross
You Saved me. Savior.
Everytime I sin,
Is another lash on your back
Another slap on Your face
Another spit on your robe
You took it for me.
You loved me that much.
That. That is love without limits.

So many wars against so many religions
So much hate because we don't believe the exact same thing.
People put so much faith into their religions,
they sometimes forget about what their religions about.
I do not like the idea of religions very much
If your a Christian and you believe in God,
Why have so many religions just cause
Someone does one minor thing different
I looked into it, and the differences between us is so small
Let me answer a question.
Yes, other Christians believe in Jesus too!
Guess what? they also go to communion,
get baptized (shocker) and pray!
Why can't we have a church called Church.
Where everyone could worship God however.
So theres no more discrimination because of religion.
Because i don't put my faith in religion,
I put it in Jesus Christ.
Amen.

I want to love someone
I want to Be in love with someone
I want someone to love me back
I want the nauseous butterflies
I want the heart flutters,
I want someone to care
I want someone to love Me
I don't want to wait, but
I know I'm not ready for love
And love isn't ready for me
And I'll know when the time comes
But I'm just getting a little impatient
Of waiting for someone to get me.

I remember when you would search the halls for me
Now you don't.
you look for Him.
Him who your in love with
Him who replaced me.
Not that i loved you that way.
i loved like a sister, and now your gone
I remember today when I smiled seeing you in the hall
You smiled back and started to walk to me
As we got close I got ready to say hi,
but you brushed past me to him.
I normally wait for y'all. but whats the point?
when i do y'all take forever nuzzling,
Then you walk with me, but never look at me,
You're too busy gazing at him.
So i left today, walked away. I hope you noticed
But you didn't.
I miss you, but I'm over that now.
Im over y'all together and me behind.
You're still one of my best friends,
But i feel so.. unimportant.
SOOO peace.

There was a moment today when i wish the world would stop
I was laying in the grass, sun bright, sky without a cloud
The new green leaves cast speckled shadows on the warm earth
I was laying there. Listening. Closing my mouth and Observing.
And for a minute.. I wanted to stay there. Without time speeding by
Without the stress of school or sports, or family or friends.
Just me and the sun. Chillin' hanging out with the sky and my dog
My hand settled on my golden retriever, sprawled out next to me
Her chest rising and falling with her long, relaxed breaths
I could hear each one. I could feel each breath. Up and down.
I wanted to stay with her for the whole day, just us.
But other emotions pulled me away from her, away from the day
Stress, responsibilities, hunger, all of them urged me to leave
leave her standing by the door like always, a look of abandonment
She slowly wagged her tail yearningly, a pleading look in her eyes
And although my heart beat for her, I closed the door.
I closed her out.

I want a man like you.
lol is it weird I'm in love with fictional characters?
They are what i dream about each night
Come walk, lurking in the shadows, come closer
come closer to me. I like your mysterious heart,
Your complicated ways, i am secretly yours
Come open your heart and soul for me.
Tell me what has hardened them, ill fix it.
Shh be soft for me. I can show you how to love.
I go for the underdogs. The ones who need
LOVE the Most. Because i feel a connection.
I have so much love to give. And i want you.
I want you to have it all. Because people haven't
liked or loved you and i know you are
SECRETLY BEAUTIFUL

Is it weird i am not attracted to anyone right now
I am not dreaming of a person anymore.
I get over people fairly quick, is that bad?
Just a few days ago I said i had a crush
Well i don't anymore, just like the rest of the year
I am not attracted to boys or girls. At the moment.
I haven't been all year, while i try searching.
Searching for someone. like the lighthouse searches
for the lost boat in a sea of emptiness.
I know right now i am truly not ready for love,
or a relationship. commitment. although...
every night i dream of two hands wrapped around my waist,
In a comforting, protecting, loving embrace.

Well. Ive always said i prefer fall.
But I've changed my mind
I hadn't opened my eyes till now
Spring is truly a miracle.
Everything is brown dead and grey,
then suddenly everything Lives
It all comes back, resurrects.
Its like a little extra Jesus!
I also adore the shades of green
Vibrant, new, alive! Pulsing with life
And i can hear the sweet call of
the small finches and sparrows
looking for friends, or mates
And if you strain your ear,
you can hear a low steady hum
of bees in the clover patch
The sun shines in a new way,
Bright, and Warm. Warm like
yellows and oranges, that
replace the grays and blues.
The ground is moist with recent showers,
which cool down the heating earth
Don't get me wrong, I have a strange,
attraction to winter. I love the cold.
But I'm now starting to see the spring.

everyone writes poetry about problems nowadays
and i get that, because I do it too
I understand how getting it all out in a poem relieves
but, i don't know, i just wish i could see someone
write about happiness. I kinda miss happiness.
Its kind of slowly slipping away,
like dewfall disappearing in the day,
gradually.
Please everyone who is upset, take a moment
Stop. Breathe. You have more than you know.
People love you. People care.
Yes get out your feelings when you need too
But every once and a while...
Can we just smile through the darkness?

what if I'm not that deep person who can write with a certain flow with her words,
what if I'm not that person with a boyfriend, who gets closer and closer to losing her virginity,
what if I'm not the giggly girly shopping gossip girl who doesn't get ****** jokes,
what if I'm not into series of tv shows and don't get hooked on to them and grip them with my life,
what if I'm not the boyish one who makes ***** jokes and seems like the tom boy,
what if I'm not the smartest girl in the grade with top averages who will gets straight As.
everyone has these reputations. everyone is known for something special
what am I? Who do people think of me as? That one friend who is like the others?
Is the freaking shadow of everyone. the follower?
Well this 'follower' has dreams too. Wild ones. She also has deep poems etched in her being
She has a ****** side (doesn't everyone?) and dreams of wild dreamy guys
She is girly deep within sometimes. theres an itch to wear nice clothes and shop (RARELY)
She has a few fandoms, though she doesn't worship them, and create her personalty from them
She is a tom boy, but she doesn't constantly talk about it, even though she acts like one
She is smarter than some think, so don't call her Stupid! that was drilled into her head years ago (No need to remind)
She does dream and does have obsessions, she does read up and research things!
But i wonder if anyone will notice? I wonder if anyone knows I've finally figured out i know what i am
I am a little bit of everything. But since I'm not any of the extremes, I won't be noticed

"Hey wanna play a game like old times?"
*doesnt look up from her phone
"Mallory? Are you there?"
looks up, "huh? Wait what?"
The moment I begin to talk again,
Her eyes are consumed in the blue screen of 'her phone'
I shouldn't call it 'her phone'
Because the phone owns her.
Shut up and stop giving excuses like:
Oh I'm just catching up or,
Gotta get homework with friends or,
Hold up sec I promise...
I loved the excuse you gave today
"I'm just catching up with family"
What about ME?! Am I not your family?!
I'm your freaking sister!
But you sure as hell don't wanna catch up with me!
So.. How's your life been? All fine in group texts?
What about Instagram am I missing anything?
I'm so glad your perfectly content as if you have everything
As if all you need is in that slender rectangle of magic
Well you don't have one thing... ME!!!
I still want to play and hang out with you
I'm older. Normally that means I don't give a ****
Well not this big sis. I give one.
And everyday it pains me to see you sinking deeper
Into your hole of addiction. You it isn't. It is.
Even momma refers to you as a phone addict.
Your searching so desperately to find happiness in a screen
When all you need to do is look up at me staring right over you!
I've always waited patiently but now...
I think you aren't coming back to me.
The point is.. I Miss You.

Girls are the emotionally hurt ones
They need a tough boy to come in a rescue them
Well let me tell you, boys aren't superheroes
They go home just like girls and cry too
They have emotional problems, and
Underneath the shell of testosterone and cologne
There is a soft underside, easily bruised
But girls think the need superman to save them
They want him to lift them off their feet as they
Fly away into the refuge of love
But the moment he reveals his emotional underside
Girls turn away, and scrutinize him
How dare HE say he has problems!
I AM the one needing saving! I'm the hurt one!
They turn him away like a side dish,
As they are the main course, with all the problems
Well stop being so vain and thinking you need saving
Because guys sometimes need superheroes too...

A slight breeze
Tall soft grass
Sun shining
Birds chirping
Soft noise of
Tall grass rustling
Close your eyes
Only to open them
And see darkness
Hear your bedroom
Fan turning.
It was a dream...
******.

What happens when the pain is too great?
Your feelings overflow, like a river does
It's water kills everything in range
You need a way out. Some way or change


You look in the mirror
and wince at your reflection
You close your eyes
And dream of perfection

It's not possible you know
To reach that high up goal
To kiss the clouds or
Paint the sky, they are
just too high

I can show you how to love yourself
It's actually quite simple
Just accept every imperfectly perfect
Flaw, every mole or pimple

God made you. You are part of something big
Part if His masterpiece. He knows you
From every word you've said
To each hair on top your head

Next time you look in the mirror
See you were made in His image
So smile and how the world
Because you are  beautiful
You. You are an imperfectly perfect
Image

I want to be heard, but in a certain kind of way
I want to voice my opinions without being judged
I want to scream at the sun and howl at the moon
I want to swim in a sea of people, explore them all
I want to run until my legs give out, then sleep
I want to climb until I cannot climb the mountain
Of Existence Any higher, it's heights too great
Then I want to lay softly in my Fathers arms
Only then will I be done. And love my eternity.